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It's been years since my boyfriend died. And I prayed to God a few months ago can he send me the perfect guy for me. Well i met this guy at work. We are both in law enforcement. He is a supervisor and everybody respects him because he treats everybody with respect. We both really like eachother alot. We are on different breaks. Most of the time I will come in for him if he calls me which is alot to help him out on his shifts and he always makes his way to visit me. He told he really liked but he cannot date me because he has alot of lose. If he loses his job he loses the custody of his kids. He told me if I was out of my uniform he would ask me out in a heartbeat. Once we are together it;s like nothing else matters around us. He is so kind.
I live a simple life i pay my own bills and do whatever i want on my off days but I don't like to get out much. We both understand out job is very stressful sometimes. i already put in to other law enforcement agencies and they are very hard to get into.
Would I be completely stupid if i gave up my simple life for him?
It's been years since my boyfriend died. And I prayed to God a few months ago can he send me the perfect guy for me. Well i met this guy at work. We are both in law enforcement. He is a supervisor and everybody respects him because he treats everybody with respect. We both really like eachother alot. We are on different breaks. Most of the time I will come in for him if he calls me which is alot to help him out on his shifts and he always makes his way to visit me. He told he really liked but he cannot date me because he has alot of lose. If he loses his job he loses the custody of his kids. He told me if I was out of my uniform he would ask me out in a heartbeat. Once we are together it;s like nothing else matters around us. He is so kind.
I live a simple life i pay my own bills and do whatever i want on my off days but I don't like to get out much. We both understand out job is very stressful sometimes. i already put in to other law enforcement agencies and they are very hard to get into.
Would I be completely stupid if i gave up my simple life for him?
This is one of those decisions you make as a couple, and only after each person has total and complete trust and faith in one another based on them each having EARNED it.
While I'd love to give him the benefit of the doubt and say "go for it!", I'm not the one who has to live with the consequences if he is just paying you lip service for his own benefit (telling you what he thinks you'd like to hear in order to have a sexual relationship with you for example).
So...has he earned your trust? Or do you have any red flags blowing in the breeze trying to catch your attention?
This is one of those decisions you make as a couple, and only after each person has total and complete trust and faith in one another based on them each having EARNED it.
While I'd love to give him the benefit of the doubt and say "go for it!", I'm not the one who has to live with the consequences if he is just paying you lip service for his own benefit (telling you what he thinks you'd like to hear in order to have a sexual relationship with you for example).
So...has he earned your trust? Or do you have any red flags blowing in the breeze trying to catch your attention?
It's been years since my boyfriend died. And I prayed to God a few months ago can he send me the perfect guy for me. Well i met this guy at work. We are both in law enforcement. He is a supervisor and everybody respects him because he treats everybody with respect. We both really like eachother alot. We are on different breaks. Most of the time I will come in for him if he calls me which is alot to help him out on his shifts and he always makes his way to visit me. He told he really liked but he cannot date me because he has alot of lose. If he loses his job he loses the custody of his kids. He told me if I was out of my uniform he would ask me out in a heartbeat. Once we are together it;s like nothing else matters around us. He is so kind.
I live a simple life i pay my own bills and do whatever i want on my off days but I don't like to get out much. We both understand out job is very stressful sometimes. i already put in to other law enforcement agencies and they are very hard to get into.
Would I be completely stupid if i gave up my simple life for him?
I don't understand what that means (the bolded part). What does dating you have anything to do with losing his job? Is he your supervisor? If he's your supervisor, can you put in for a transfer? Don't give up anything for him, especially since you're not even dating. If he sincerely has feelings for you and you feel the same for him, see if you can transfer. Also, just something to keep in mind, he has custody of his kids, which means he may not give you 100%. Is that something you're ok with?
There is no relationship here to give up a job for. So far it is just a mutual fantasy and those have a way of being disappointing when they become reality.
No, you should not give up your career, benefits, and pension for someone you have not even been on a date with yet. Yes, you would be stupid if you did.
FTR: I question the veracity of this post. I have a hard time believing anyone in law enforcement would have to ask this question in the first place.
I'd say the fact you haven't even been out on a date yet is kind of a red flag!
Look, if you really want to see how serious he is you have to sit down with him and have a real conversation.
Put your cards on the table and tell him you are ready to tender your resignation if he is serious about you.
The minute you do this, he'll either panic and back pedal - or he'll be very excited and want to know when you are giving your notice.
Prepare yourself honey - I think he's going to back pedal
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