For those who don't want the 'piece of paper' (how to, marriage, single)

[NilaJones]

How do you and your partner handle the financial and safety-net penalties of being unmarried?

Did you have a lawyer draw up a contract? Do you have special savings accounts for the penalties? Do you just hope a tragedy never strikes your family?

[the minx]

Can you explain what you mean by penalties?

[NilaJones]

Originally Posted by the minx

Can you explain what you mean by penalties?

Here's a partial list for couples who live in the US:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights...s_and_benefits

[the minx]

Originally Posted by NilaJones

Here's a partial list for couples who live in the US:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rights...s_and_benefits

That's way too much to read and i don't see anything about "penalties." Do you have an example?

[BirdieBelle]

I think that instead of "penalties," the OP meant missing out on the potential benefits of being legally married, which is what the list shows.

[NilaJones]

@minx

Sure:

- If your SO is hit by a car and badly injured, you will not be allowed to see them in the hospital. They may die without the chance to say goodbye.

- If your SO survives the car crash but faces a long recovery, during which they are unable to work for several years, their disability payments will be based on a fraction of their former salary, not yours. If you are married, the base is whoever's salary is highest. For some couples, this is a big difference and affects whether they lose their home, for example.

- And of course there is the obvious stuff like higher taxes for unmarried people, not getting relocation benefits when the couple moves, not getting heath insurance through each other's work, etc.

[NilaJones]

@Wmsn:

I didn't start this thread to talk about that list. Minx just asked for examples, so I gave her some. Google is my friend.

What I really want to hear about is how people handle this stuff.

[the minx]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

I think that instead of "penalties," the OP meant missing out on the potential benefits of being legally married, which is what the list shows.

Ah ok. The "saving up for penalties" threw me. I thought I might be charged for not wanting to get married.

So how to make up for the benefits that marriage might afford? Why would I need to?

I live like a single person where finance is concerned already, so if the scenarios you laid out occurred, I would continue all the same.

When I was in a car accident and badly injured, 4 of my friends were in the er with me. Not something I would worry about.

We live well within our means so if we lost an income, we'd be ok.

My SO is a physician and I have full coverage insurance at work. A tax break or insurance is not a reason to get married.


There's no great loss in not getting married. And if someone gets married because they think they will be penalized otherwise, I would question that union.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by NilaJones

@Wmsn:

I didn't start this thread to talk about that list. Minx just asked for examples, so I gave her some. Google is my friend.

What I really want to hear about is how people handle this stuff.

Well nevermind then.

I was trying to clarify your misleading wording.

[NilaJones]

Originally Posted by the minx

There's no great loss in not getting married. And if someone gets married because they think they will be penalized otherwise, I would question that union.

That's what I thought. It cost me $80,000, in stuff I had never imagined. May I suggest you consult a financial advisor?