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Many men and women come to this realization much later in life then you did. You're fortunate.
Good luck. She's out there. But you'll probably have to put in more than a little effort to find the right one for you.
I was about to say, "don't settle" for anything less than the woman you are truly looking for, except that the woman i found was both much different and much more than i thought i was looking for.
So, my advice is: look hard for what you want, but "stay open" for surprises.
Good post OP, I like it. As to showing emotion as a man, in general women will tolerate it when the occasion calls for it, your family member passes away or your football team loses the SB, but other than that Id suggest not wearing your emotions on your sleeve. They usualy prefer to have you as the shoulder to cry on, not be one.
Ive been in a relationship with my girl for the last 9 months, and while things are going great, I found that my bachelor mindset has been an obstacle on more than few occasions. Ive had to put in real effort into changing it, by not flirting as much with beautiful women, turning my wandering eye off, tweaking my body language in certain cituations and a long list of others. Im almost there but it wasnt as automatic as i assumed it would be.
As to the power of positivity, I dont think it could be repeated enough. FOcusing on the positives and rejecting negatives of your life, can make or break you. There is something positive to be found from every experience and keeping a positive mindset and outlook in life will make you more attractive, healthier, happier, more succesful...
“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Great post. This is the key, right here. I would add that the efforts you make to help your partner achieve happiness and fulfillment should be things they value and appreciate, not necessarily what you think they "should" want from you.
This is so important in a relationship, giving a person what they need, not what you need.
The book The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, really focuses on the idea of getting to know the way your partner shows love and also wants to receive it.
Some people show love through doing something for you, buying something for you, spending time with you, physical touch (not limited to sex). If you show love by buying your partner little gifts, but the way she likes to receive love is from hugs and snuggling, there is going to be a disconnect. You're wondering why your thoughtful gesture isn't as appreciated as you'd like, and she wonders why you're not holding her hand when you go for a walk. This simple miscommunication is the type of thing that can start to erode at a relationship.
So many times when you hear someone lament "I can't do anything to make him/her happy", I wonder if the guy/gal in question is "speaking" a different love language. My ex-husband's love language was very much an "acts of service" (from the book). He wasn't a cuddler so much but his way of showing me love was making sure my tires had air, and topping up the oil and gasoline before I took a road trip to see a friend. From that book, I learned that maybe I wasn't always getting what I wanted in terms of affection, but my ex was showing me love in his way.
It really is that simple...getting out of your own head and knowing that you're meeting your partner's needs not just in the way you think they should be met, but the way they desire their needs to be met as well. Perspective is key.
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