Dating someone who's not yet divorced (how to, love, kids, call)

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by cinderobyn

yep................to the adultry, in my state, until after you are divorced, kids, look at us,

eeeesh

Adultry is a strong word. It can take years before a divorce is final. legally separated and living alone is good enough

greenie

[pirate girl]

A no-fault or uncontested divorce in NJ requires an 18 month legal separation waiting period and then it takes approximately six months to become finalized. If you want to use grounds for the divorce, it can be expedited more quickly.

For the record, this man's wife left him for someone else. She abandoned him and their two kids and didn't even see the kids for almost 4 months. When things with the other guy went sour, he attempted a reconcilation. The other guy came back into the picture and she abandoned the marriage and children again. That was around the holidays last year. Since then she has been gone- and the other guy broke it off with her again over the summer. And she is now trying to get back with the husband.

I feel no pity for this wife and I don't believe she's any kind of martyr trying to save her family. She is a mixed up person who doesn't want to be alone.

This man, I have known for a long time through some local youth programs. He's an involved father who gives of his time to coach sports.......... When she left he was devastated- and as he began picking up the pieces she came back, then hurt him again.

My friend is a single mom of two girls who has been divorced for several years- they met at a pop warner football game and found some common interests. She is hesitant to accept an invitation for coffee because the divorce is pending. I feel that if these two great people who put their children first and have both been hurt and dragged through the wringer can find something in each other to smile about, they both deserve it. Timing is never perfect.

[Dee2816]

I would wait... My friend was sep. from her husband dating see others for over a yr and yet they seem to have work things out and r back 2gether.

[Marylandkitten]

I would say there is no black and white on the issue.. it's a "if you proceed, proceed with caution". They're both consenting adults, as long as everyone knows whats on the table, then whatever they chose to battle along the way is up to them.

If you walk around counting the "what if's" that stop you from being in a relationship, you will grow old, and lonely!

[Jefetio]

since we are talking about a cup of coffea between two adults with common interest, I say go for it and take it slow

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by pirate girl

I have a friend who met someone who has been separated for several months but is not yet divorced. They seem to like each other and he has hinted at taking her out on a date.

I have some friends in common with this man and I've heard that his ex-wife is pushing hard through their kids to reconcile with him but that he's not biting.

So is it a good idea for my friend to go out with him or should she hold off until his divorce is finalized? I'm not sure when that will be but they can and do happen quickly in our state.

I'm inclined to say she should wait- with the ex-wife trying to get back into the picture, him dating her would likely create too much drama. Once the legalities are done that chapter will be closed in a sense.

Other thoughts?

dancing on egg shells if this post is in fact bout you and not a friend,
i see a red dot comin my way.
when you date a married person you know 2 things.
they lie and they cheat.
this post is not intended to offend anybody
it is my personal opinion which was solicited.

[pirate girl]

It's not me and I hear you on that Bunky-------- but in my opinion this is not cheating since the man has been separated for over a year.

No red dots from me........

[Roma]

Originally Posted by Bunky39

this post is not intended to offend anybody
it is my personal opinion which was solicited.

I like that you put disclaimers at the end of a lot of your post!

[shuke]

Originally Posted by Bunky39

dancing on egg shells if this post is in fact bout you and not a friend,
i see a red dot comin my way.
when you date a married person you know 2 things.
they lie and they cheat.
this post is not intended to offend anybody
it is my personal opinion which was solicited.

I see the single crowd has now checked in.

[Roma]

My opinion on this is to suggest that your friend tread very lightly with him.