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Unread 11-05-2007, 08:44 PM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,414 posts, read 4,947,920 times
Reputation: 2107
Default Dating someone who's not yet divorced

I have a friend who met someone who has been separated for several months but is not yet divorced. They seem to like each other and he has hinted at taking her out on a date.

I have some friends in common with this man and I've heard that his ex-wife is pushing hard through their kids to reconcile with him but that he's not biting.

So is it a good idea for my friend to go out with him or should she hold off until his divorce is finalized? I'm not sure when that will be but they can and do happen quickly in our state.

I'm inclined to say she should wait- with the ex-wife trying to get back into the picture, him dating her would likely create too much drama. Once the legalities are done that chapter will be closed in a sense.

Other thoughts?
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Unread 11-05-2007, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Journey's End
10,190 posts, read 15,528,316 times
Reputation: 3581
Red flag for me. I'd wait for a more permanent separation before getting involved with someone not necessarily free and maintain a friendly relationship
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Unread 11-05-2007, 08:57 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
627 posts, read 1,136,436 times
Reputation: 270
Red flag here too. Why ask for trouble. The x could win him back.
But if your friend goes into it with open eyes and knows the risks it could
be ok, and she might find after date #1 she would not want to see him
again anyway.
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Unread 11-05-2007, 09:32 PM
 
1,353 posts, read 2,684,761 times
Reputation: 519
Red flag, me three, she should keep it moving
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Unread 11-05-2007, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Virginia
6,461 posts, read 7,350,008 times
Reputation: 2966
Kids involved??? Hang tight.... Let them sort out their garbage before it becomes her's would be my thought.....

Of course, not knowing the circumstances behind the divorce clouds ALL of our judgements here, so.....
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Unread 11-05-2007, 10:37 PM
miu
 
Location: MA
11,727 posts, read 16,641,485 times
Reputation: 8379
She should wait and not be his rebound squeeze. Let the dust settle on his divorce before proceeding forward.
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Unread 11-05-2007, 11:43 PM
 
12,398 posts, read 9,324,939 times
Reputation: 2732
Kids involved she wants him who knows how he really feels. Maybe he is just testing the territory to see who is interested..
She should stay away far far away..
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Unread 11-06-2007, 12:11 AM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,524 posts
Reputation: 692
Personally, I wouldn't do it. I agree with what an earlier poster said -- let them sort out their garbage first.
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Unread 11-06-2007, 12:26 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,548 posts, read 18,071,667 times
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Personally I wouldn't have him even after his divorce was final. If he can date someone else while still married to this wife, then he can do the same to your friend.

I would NEVER want to be what seperated a parent from their children. If there is any chance at all that they can work their marriage out then that is what I personaly would want them to do. NOT to stay together and hate each other for the kids sake but to have a real life.
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Unread 11-06-2007, 02:34 AM
 
1,380 posts, read 2,167,957 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Personally I wouldn't have him even after his divorce was final. If he can date someone else while still married to this wife, then he can do the same to your friend.
Excellent posting! You are absolutely correct!!
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