Brother-in-law got tricked into getting this girl pregnant!!! (serious, best, unhappy)

[willowtree22]

this is true.. I just think this WHOLE situation is messed up.. if a girl KNOWS that a guy isn't ready to have kids...why diseave them?? thats is so wrong!! she KNEW him and his x were together for 7 yrs and he was still in love with her.. she prob. thought what better way to keep him then have him get me pregnant.. and this mentality is PURE EVIL!!! i mean the POOR child!! in between 2 ppl who don't TRUELY love each other... just have a common element-you!

[theqbaby]

Please do .

Let us know how it goes.

Be prepared for MUCH drama to unfold in your marriage and life.

OR

Let you BIL live his life and put all this energy into making your life/marriage a successful one.
None of this nonsense is going to bring you any success of any kind.


Good luck......

and most importantly......

LOVE AND LIVE WELL !

[theqbaby]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

in between 2 ppl who don't TRUELY love each other... just have a common element-you!

How could you possibly know what/ how they feel about each other ?

[miu]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

MIU- TOTALLY MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!!!!! Both to blame.. i guess i just feel bad because... shes trying really hard to TAKE OVER his life now... i mean she now stays in his Apartment.. QUIT- school and work.. he works 7 days/wk=2jobs... because she has convinsed him that she NEEDS to relax.. i mean WHAT A CROCK OF SH*T!!! Im sorry but i know PLENTY of women who have WORKED throughout their pregnancy!! honestly if u meet her you could see right through her BUT BIL is emotionally attached to child because HE thinks its his.. so he wants to give his kid a good childhood... BUT BIL thinks he need to STAY with this B*TCH to make it a good childhood.... I actually think thats WORST than splitting up.. but knowing her she will prob. do something psycho- BUT she does WANT a FREE MEAL TICKET>> once again if u saw her it is SOOOO obvious... and being me( who has strong views and VALUES) i really want to CALL her out on it...

Look... your BIL is going along with it. Why not give the two of them a chance? Who knows? Maybe there is a silver lining in all of this.

Remember, you yourself said that your BIL last girlfriend was pretty and smart, but they kept breaking up and then getting back together. Maybe what your BIL really needs and wants is a woman that really wants him no matter what. He might like that she wants him so much. Maybe he wants kids now and his old girlfriend wasn't really to settle down yet. What works for you in a relationship or marriage is going to be completely different for someone else. And there are plenty of stay-at-home moms at there.

What's done is done. Give this poor couple a chance. See the glass as half full and not half empty. In the meantime, appreciate the marriage you have.

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

MIU- TOTALLY MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!!!!! Both to blame.. i guess i just feel bad because... shes trying really hard to TAKE OVER his life now... i mean she now stays in his Apartment.. QUIT- school and work.. he works 7 days/wk=2jobs... because she has convinsed him that she NEEDS to relax.. i mean WHAT A CROCK OF SH*T!!! Im sorry but i know PLENTY of women who have WORKED throughout their pregnancy!! honestly if u meet her you could see right through her BUT BIL is emotionally attached to child because HE thinks its his.. so he wants to give his kid a good childhood... BUT BIL thinks he need to STAY with this B*TCH to make it a good childhood.... I actually think thats WORST than splitting up.. but knowing her she will prob. do something psycho- BUT she does WANT a FREE MEAL TICKET>> once again if u saw her it is SOOOO obvious... and being me( who has strong views and VALUES) i really want to CALL her out on it...

I'd stay out of it if I were you. It's none of your business and frankly I still don't see why you're so worked up about something that doesn't affect you anyway.

I think maybe you should take up a hobby to keep your mind occupied. All this anger can't be good for you.

[miu]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

this is true.. I just think this WHOLE situation is messed up.. if a girl KNOWS that a guy isn't ready to have kids...why diseave them?? thats is so wrong!! she KNEW him and his x were together for 7 yrs and he was still in love with her.. she prob. thought what better way to keep him then have him get me pregnant.. and this mentality is PURE EVIL!!! i mean the POOR child!! in between 2 ppl who don't TRUELY love each other... just have a common element-you!

Please don't start this war... it's really just between your BIL and this woman. Has he asked you to be rude to her? No. I think not.

Life is messy and we all get our share of curveballs thrown at us. There are much worse things that could be happening to him. Just let him deal with the situation as gracefully as possible. He's a grown man. Let him take care of his own business. Yes he messed up, but now he is being an adult and being responsible for the trouble his penis got him into. He is now doing the right thing, but you are not.

Peace, love and understanding. That's what our world needs more of.

[willowtree22]

No he HASN'T asked me to do anything.. but its pretty obvious how depressed he is.. he refuses to stand up to her... i guess until she has the baby e is letting her ruin his life... BUT to all who say its NOT my business.. IT IS he ismy husbands brother.. WHEN he comes she comes too and i get so enraged.. because BIL ALWAYS leave her with ME.. and i want to strangler her to death... IDK.. I just think shes a horrible person and im very sad that this happened to someone i know.. but i guess there is NOTHING i can do about it.. so i will leave it alone and avoid her!

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

No he HASN'T asked me to do anything.. but its pretty obvious how depressed he is.. he refuses to stand up to her... i guess until she has the baby e is letting her ruin his life... BUT to all who say its NOT my business.. IT IS he ismy husbands brother.. WHEN he comes she comes too and i get so enraged.. because BIL ALWAYS leave her with ME.. and i want to strangler her to death... IDK.. I just think shes a horrible person and im very sad that this happened to someone i know.. but i guess there is NOTHING i can do about it.. so i will leave it alone and avoid her!

Willowtree, I think you have some anger management issues and a serious case of the butt-inskis.

Adults do not like it when busybodies tell them how to run their lives. Some people will immediately tell you to eff off, while others will silently resent you for it for years.

There is no way...I repeat...no way you can come out ahead by talking to your BIL about this girl the way you are talking to us about her. You sound bitter, angry, intolerant, and bossy. If you talked to me about my SO the way you're talking to us about your BIL's GF, I would cut you out of my life, whether you were married to my brother or not. You would be persona non grata in my house.

Please get this through your head: It. Is. None. Of. Your. Concern.

When you have to socialize with them, do your best to act like a civilized adult. You think you're a better person than she is? Prove it by acting like it.

[miu]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

No he HASN'T asked me to do anything.. but its pretty obvious how depressed he is.. he refuses to stand up to her... i guess until she has the baby e is letting her ruin his life... BUT to all who say its NOT my business.. IT IS he ismy husbands brother.. WHEN he comes she comes too and i get so enraged.. because BIL ALWAYS leave her with ME.. and i want to strangler her to death... IDK.. I just think shes a horrible person and im very sad that this happened to someone i know.. but i guess there is NOTHING i can do about it.. so i will leave it alone and avoid her!

All right, so when the BIL wants to come visit, you just go out to the movies by yourself. I understand that you are not ready to be friends with her and that when couples get together, the guys do their guy thing and the women are supposed to do their girltalk thing. I myself refuse to do doubledates or couple things.

But if your BIL brings this woman over, he must be hoping that his brother and wife will be supportive of his situation. Otherwise, he would be leaving her home. Can't you find any good in this woman? And what is your husband like with her?

Right now though, you are reminding me of that meddlesome Mrs. Oleson of the general store on Little House on the Prairie.

[4"L's"]

Originally Posted by willowtree22

No he HASN'T asked me to do anything.. but its pretty obvious how depressed he is.. he refuses to stand up to her... i guess until she has the baby e is letting her ruin his life... BUT to all who say its NOT my business.. IT IS he ismy husbands brother.. WHEN he comes she comes too and i get so enraged.. because BIL ALWAYS leave her with ME.. and i want to strangler her to death... IDK.. I just think shes a horrible person and im very sad that this happened to someone i know.. but i guess there is NOTHING i can do about it.. so i will leave it alone and avoid her!

You know you don't have to like her....you just need to be the better person here and try to make something good come out of it.

Something very similar happened to my husbands youngest brother but at the time he had JUST met this girl. They both made a mistake (I think he was stupid for not protecting himself...but...) Now they have a 5 yr. old and are married. Not the happiest couple in the world, but they manage. It really is much better for the rest of the family to stay out of it because my husbands mother made the mistake of getting involved and now the wife HATES her and it is pretty miserable when they are around each other. It causes so much drama and my husband and I are the ones who always hear it from both sides. We always just politely say..."please leave us out of it".