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Here is a wonderful little write up by Gloria Shui Nava. I am not familiar with her blog but definitely appreciate this insightful article do to common circumstances (I am the husband of an overweight wife). A while back I made the argument that some of us legitimately prefer overweight women, and that it is not a fetish but a natural attraction and preference. I appreciate her pointing out this fact in her article.
Furthermore I've seen many on this forum explain guys who are only with overweight women because they can't do any better. Arguments state it's because they lack education, are poor, themselves out of shape, etc... But this girl's boyfriend looks pretty fit and is preparing to embark on his studies for his PhD. He even pursued her cross-continentally! He worked pretty hard to track her down and get a chance to know her. Inother words, he was serious about being with this person.
I also applaud her being inspired to lose some weight and wish her well in her efforts. Society collectively does not accept overweight people. But if society was really interested in a solution (rather than a scapegoat) we would uphold the dignity of every individual, regardless of his or her appearance. Thankfully where society often fails, individuals still prosper.
I think it is rather sad that the fat-shaming extends to those individuals who prefer to date overweight people. If you are slim or athletically fit, but you find yourself attracted to someone who is overweight then you have to justify why someone who looks like you would be attracted to someone who looked like that. I'm overweight and I posted a personals ad when I lived abroad. All of my responses were from men who were considered slim or fit (they were European after all). One of them was even from a long-distance running coach who had competed in the Olympics and was now training other athletes around the world. I didn't pursue it because I had a hard time believing that someone so fit would be attracted to someone who wasn't.
I've always thought it was just because some men had a preference for that body type. I'm the opposite with a very athletic/boyish (no boobs) figure but no hate, I just stick to guys who preferred that.
There are plenty of chubby chasers out there, and if thats what they like and want, more power to em. However, somoene who is overweight or obese, has a much higher chance of being unhealthy, due to the extra weight they carry and a long list of other reasons. Ive heard a man talk who liked his women morbidly obese, and was working hard on overfeeding his current GF in order to get her so overweight that she could no longer walk but would be bound to a wheel chair. There is something very disturbing about this type of mindset, preference or not. For myself, Im in great shape and like fit women as well. It isnt so much looks but the health that would make me pause if i were to ever make long term plan with an overweight/obese woman. Provided, one can be overweight and healthy, but the opposite tends to be true more often than not.
There are plenty of chubby chasers out there, and if thats what they like and want, more power to em. However, somoene who is overweight or obese, has a much higher chance of being unhealthy, due to the extra weight they carry and a long list of other reasons. Ive heard a man talk who liked his women morbidly obese, and was working hard on overfeeding his current GF in order to get her so overweight that she could no longer walk but would be bound to a wheel chair. There is something very disturbing about this type of mindset, preference or not. For myself, Im in great shape and like fit women as well. It isnt so much looks but the health that would make me pause if i were to ever make long term plan with an overweight/obese woman. Provided, one can be overweight and healthy, but the opposite tends to be true more often than not.
Hey there, OP! I did not read the whole article but most of it and I get the gist. Good article.
I don't think that a person liking someone who is overweight is any different than someone preferring a blonde or a brunette, or someone preferring someone who is thin or athletic.
It is the stigma that a person who is overweight is no good and just not good enough to be with anyone. That is why only another person who can't get anyone should be with them, if anyone at all is with them.
It just isn't the case, and it is the thought process of people like that that cause people to have low self esteem, etc.
People can prefer not to be with an overweight person but it is no reason to look down on them as if they do not count in this world.
I also agree with Ascensions post that a person should not try to make a person unhealthy to suit their preference.
If people looked on the inside, and who the person is, this world would be a much different and better place. But lets face facts. Most people just aren't that way and a person who is overweight does not fit in a category of preference as a person who is thin does.
It does not make sense to me, but it is how it is.
There are plenty of chubby chasers out there, and if thats what they like and want, more power to em. However, somoene who is overweight or obese, has a much higher chance of being unhealthy, due to the extra weight they carry and a long list of other reasons. Ive heard a man talk who liked his women morbidly obese, and was working hard on overfeeding his current GF in order to get her so overweight that she could no longer walk but would be bound to a wheel chair. There is something very disturbing about this type of mindset, preference or not. For myself, Im in great shape and like fit women as well. It isnt so much looks but the health that would make me pause if i were to ever make long term plan with an overweight/obese woman. Provided, one can be overweight and healthy, but the opposite tends to be true more often than not.
I've heard of this as well. It's very disturbing, I agree. I'm big on accepting your partner for who she is and what she is. Any change she makes should come from within herself. Pressuring to lose weight or gain weight is just wrong and selfish.
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