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When she is 35, no longer chased by the bad boys (who are still banging 20 some year olds - you know women at the peak of their attractivness), and more often than not raising a couple of kids by herself. So what is the conclusion here? Dont be nice, be a bad boy.
Of course, for the women who are being chased by the bad boys and want NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM this could be an issue. Bad boys seem to love me, but I like nerdy nice guys but they don't want me because I look like a bad girl.
I wish I could find a genuinley nice guy who actually liked me, but I've been single for 4 years now ignoring the bad boys and I'll probably be single for quite a while longer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2
I guess it depends on your definition of "admired". Having a bunch of women that like you as a friend but none that like you romanticlly is not all that helpful.
Why? Are women not worth being friends with? Are they only good enough to be around if they put out?
Of course, for the women who are being chased by the bad boys and want NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM this could be an issue. Bad boys seem to love me, but I like nerdy nice guys but they don't want me because I look like a bad girl.
I wish I could find a genuinley nice guy who actually liked me, but I've been single for 4 years now ignoring the bad boys and I'll probably be single for quite a while longer.
Why? Are women not worth being friends with? Are they only good enough to be around if they put out?
It comes down to that time management issue again.
Part of what I've taken away from all this is that a nice guy CAN be successful if he
1. looks like George Clooney (big help, no matter what you say about looks, girls)
2. knows how to take the reins of the initial conversation and how to assert his nice guy qualities without coming off like a wimpish wet noodle
3 never flinches even if the girl shows disinterest. Don't be cruel to her. Just shrug and walk away.
Saw a movie called XX/XY with Mark Rufolo. There was a scene where a painfully nice guy likes a friend of the main girl that Rufolo likes. The nice guy is like this girl's shadow. She has sex with Rufolo on the floor right in front of him. In the next scene he's bawling like a baby sitting next to her and when she sympathetically stands up and slips away he's left lying on the sofa reaching out and blindly grabbing for her as he wails. Most pathetic thing I've ever seen. For the first time I understood what girls meant when they said they cannot respect a guy who is a doormat.
Because a gentleman knows that it's polite and de rigueur to ALWAYS let the lady finish first.
It is most uncouth and quite caddish for a man to finish before his lady don't you think? One would have thought that any respectable chap, or in your vernacular "Nice Guy", would know this to be the case would one not.?
Regardless, I was raised to believe this to be so. This gentleman has never received any complaints by holding fast to this ideal at any event.
Part of what I've taken away from all this is that a nice guy CAN be successful if he
1. looks like George Clooney (big help, no matter what you say about looks, girls)
2. knows how to take the reins of the initial conversation and how to assert his nice guy qualities without coming off like a wimpish wet noodle
3 never flinches even if the girl shows disinterest. Don't be cruel to her. Just shrug and walk away.
Saw a movie called XX/XY with Mark Rufolo. There was a scene where a painfully nice guy likes a friend of the main girl that Rufolo likes. The nice guy is like this girl's shadow. She has sex with Rufolo on the floor right in front of him. In the next scene he's bawling like a baby sitting next to her and when she sympathetically stands up and slips away he's left lying on the sofa reaching out and blindly grabbing for her as he wails. Most pathetic thing I've ever seen. For the first time I understood what girls meant when they said they cannot respect a guy who is a doormat.
Eh, I've never found George Clooney attractive...or Brad Pitt for that matter. To each his/her own.
I agree with not being a doormat, but you also don't want to be arrogant, demanding and domineering... something that will immediately make me disinterested is a man TELLING me how it is, or TELLING me what I think.
My thought is that the "nice" guys who finish last are usually not all that nice. In fact, they are often passive-aggressive guys with an overblown sense of entitlement. They think the fact they are so "nice" means women owe it to them to find them attractive. When this doesn't happen, they become bitter, whiny and misogynistic. I have never met a genuinely nice guy who wasn't admired by women.
I still think this is the best post! Worth repeating!
Because finishing before a girl has the chance to is not the way to keep her.
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