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Old 06-24-2013, 01:57 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 7,915,383 times
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I have also narrowed down a little pattern. If I decide to wear, let's say a Michelle Obama like outfit, then more older men will flirt directly. Their approach will match their outfit. If he is wearing a suit, it will be something respectful. No suit, then it will be a sketchy comment.

If I am wearing something that is more casual or looks a little "younger," then if older men hit on me, it will only be the sketchy ones. But less older me hit on me in those outfits.
Wow, Jade, your analysis rocks! Are you a scientist, by trade?
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Yes! This, exactly! It's not the specific age itself that turns me off, it's the extreme difference, even to the "style" in which people talk, exhibit themselves, etc. when they're from a different generation. They don't think they do...but they do. A 46-year-old's unconscious actions and traits say, "Hey, we may have gone to school together." A 65-year-old's unconscious actions and traits say, "Hey, I might have played poker with your dad, and boy howdy but did we put the 'sexy' in polyester suits." Ohhhh no, just...no.

No amount of "I'm young at heart and by the way, I LOVE Muse** and Pink" will change that, it's a part of whom (who? can't remember the grammar) we are...how we grew up, the people we were surrounded by, etc.

So when I'm 60, I'm pretty sure I'll no longer squick at the thought of sex with a 60-year-old.

** p.s. I do love Muse, BTW, LOL.
I like Muse and Pink and a lot of today's music. My boyfriend just told me he bought the new Justin Bieber CD because he liked a song he heard.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
2,186 posts, read 2,365,451 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Not to defend idon'tdateyou, but oh my goodness, are we STILL not catching on to the fact here that we're talking about significantly older men?

For heaven's sake, the OP himself states that he's talking about men "significantly older than" 10 years older and gives the example of men the woman's father's age.

What's hilarious is that people don't read the actual thread, then go off about something it doesn't even refer to.
"Significant" is highly subjective in this case. Apparently for you 9 years = insignificant and 15 years = not only significant but completely ridiculous. You draw the firm heavy line in the same arbitrary place as idon'tdateyou, apparently. Personally, I consider both 9 and 15 year gaps to be significant but still very doable.

Oh, and we've been through this, but the OP says "10 years and significantly older." Pretty sure you knew that, though.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
@JerZ: Your geeky wish is my command .

From this article at NatGeo:

Women may make new eggs throughout their reproductive years—challenging a longstanding tenet that females are born with finite supplies, a new study says.

...Previous research had suggested that a woman is born with all the egg cells she will ever have in her lifetime.

But in recent experiments, scientists discovered a new type of stem cell in the ovaries that—when grown in the lab—generates immature egg cells. The same immature cells isolated from adult mouse ovaries can turn into fertile eggs.

The finding reinforces the team's previous experiments in mice, which had identified a new type of ovarian stem cell that renews a female mouse's source of eggs throughout its fertile years.

That study, published in the journal Nature in 2004, was the "first to reach the conclusion that this long-held belief in our field—that young girls are given a bank account at birth that you can no longer deposit eggs to, just withdraw from—was no longer true,"said study leader Jonathan Tilly.

...Since it's prohibited to legally experiment on a living person, the scientists injected the fluorescent-tagged stem cells into small pieces of human ovarian tissue and grafted that tissue onto female mice...

Within one to two weeks, the fluorescent human stem cells had developed into fluorescent immature egg cells, which were indistinguishable from the egg cells already present in the tissue.

By showing that the stem cells can produce immature egg cells in living human tissue, this experiment "sealed the identity of these newly discovered cells in women," said Tilly, whose study was published online February 26 in the journal Nature Medicine.
That is cool and will possibly change a lot of things. Not that I approve of say 60 year old women giving birth but this will allow older women to have babies.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Its going to do nothing of the sort, you just need to sit down and use your brain for 5 minutes to understand the concept. It is not a conscious decision for a man to seek fertile women (young and beautiful). Its not as if men think "I will seek out a fertile woman, because that is who i am attracted to, so she has to be young". It is a completely subconscious process for men to equate youth and beuaty with health and fertility and it is completely out of our control as far as attraction goes. I realize that several over the hill women on CDR will claw and scratch to deny reality, but thats what it is. Think about it, understand it and deal with it.
Oh older women are "over the hill?" Guess what, many of us think older men are also "over the hill". Women also like hotter younger men too but most of us are realistic to know that large age gaps don't usually work.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
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Originally Posted by monemi View Post
For me, age gaps had to be smaller the younger I was. At 16, a 28 year old would have been legal to date me, but a 12 year age gap was way too much for me at that time. I wasn't nearly mature enough to handle that. At 20, I tried dating a guy 14 years older than me and that proved to be too much of an age gap for me. And I think he was dating me for the wrong reasons. When I was 25, a 14 year age gap wouldn't have been such a big deal. I matured a lot between 20 and 25. Some of my friend's matured with me and some didn't (this wasn't related to their single/LTR/married status in my opinion.)

At 32, I can't think of many men I'd be attracted to in their 50's. But maturity wise, the age gap between 30s and 50s isn't ridiculously large. As I age and mature, age differences aren't as big a deal for me. Intellectually and maturity wise, the difference doesn't seem so large.

Most people have a lot of maturing to do between 16-23 (and continue to mature throughout life hopefully). Even a 4 year difference between 16 years old and 20 years old makes a big difference. Whereas 20 and 28 doesn't make nearly as much difference.
Yep, this all makes sense to me (emphasis added). This is being discussed on a different thread right now, too. The acceptable age gap increases greatly with age, at least for me. Of course, you have to factor in that not everyone matures at the same rate, but generally speaking I find this to be true. Dating 20-year-olds at age 30 didn't work so well for me due to the different stage of life, but dating 30-year-olds (and even mid-to-late 20-somethings) at age 40 works fine.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:05 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 7,915,383 times
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@Plzen:

You might find your posts here getting more positive feedback if you talk a bit about your emotions on the subject, directly. You are coming across as someone who is feeling some stuff, but trying to mask his emotions with pseudo-factual discussion, and I think it is rubbing people the wrong way.

But you might not want advice from me , I am curious, though, if you are willing to share, about what this topic feels like to you, emotionally.

ETA: This was written in relation to your posts overall, not the one just above mine, which came in while I was typing.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
This wasn't the case with me. I was happy with my ex's body, and I don't find younger ones more attractive. It really was just habit for me.
Like I said it just was something I saw but I do understand the logic where someone goes back to the age they were when they last dated. Makes sense to me.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
2,186 posts, read 2,365,451 times
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Originally Posted by sfcambridge View Post
Another issue is that it depends what you are looking for in life...
For sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
The thing is while that 42 man may want a younger woman, most younger women don't want him. That's the thing many of these men don't get.
Still making this sweeping inaccurate generalization, eh? Your reality, if that's what it is, simply doesn't match mine and those of friends of mine. We date and marry younger women, so apparently they want us. There's nothing for us to "not get," because it's not some fairytale of fantasy. It's the reality of what people do. You don't have to like it, but it's pointless to deny that it happens often.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Plzeň View Post
So 51 = boyfriend material and 57 = makes your skin crawl. That's a rather arbitrary place to draw such an extreme distinction. There's nothing wrong with setting such specific limits for yourself, of course, but surely you don't assume that to be the norm.
He is boyfriend material because we clock but if he sought me out because I was younger yes it would make my skin crawl. I could be attracted to a 57 man in real life but online sites no too old. 51 would also be too old on sites too.
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