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Oh sure I bypassed a lot of men (some I regret), but when I did online I did get very upset when men my age bypassed me. If they had bypassed me because they didn't like me I wouldn't have care but the age thing really annoyed me. It upset me quite a bit when they would say "you have a message" and almost always it was a man 55 and up.
Just keep saying no, eventually they'll get it.
And again, it really isn't a case of fair v. unfair, etc. (regarding some of your comments in posts above this one). It's probably "unfair" of me that the thought of sex with a 60-year-old man makes me squick and want to just run into a cave somewhere and hide. But it is what it is.
Well yeah, this phenomenon (lower sperm motility and lesser sperm quality) is true (and has been documented clinically since the 1940s) and just recently sperm produced by older men has been linked to neurological issues such as autism and ADHD.
I think both men and women should be aware of this, at least if they're directly planning on having children.
It probably doesn't have much bearing on the actual attraction/lack of attraction from either side but it's worthy of note in general.
There have been more and more studies and one of the latest I think is that many birth defects are affected by the sperm than the egg. I found that fascinating and if that proves to be true that sperm age is more important than egg age I think it may change some ideas men have (or I hope). Wouldn't it be funny if women started rejecting men their age because of this and started approaching younger men? not likely but would be a weird thing to see. I know women do approach younger men but not as much as men do to women (at least I haven't seen it as much).
And again, it really isn't a case of fair v. unfair, etc. (regarding some of your comments in posts above this one). It's probably "unfair" of me that the thought of sex with a 60-year-old man makes me squick and want to just run into a cave somewhere and hide. But it is what it is.
Eventually they did but it got frustrating because at times that was all the messages I had. I have no doubt it's because of my age, because I never had this problem when I did online dating years ago. But yep the idea of having sex with a man old enough to be my dad makes me sick.
There have been more and more studies and one of the latest I think is that many birth defects are affected by the sperm than the egg. I found that fascinating and if that proves to be true that sperm age is more important than egg age I think it may change some ideas men have (or I hope). Wouldn't it be funny if women started rejecting men their age because of this and started approaching younger men? not likely but would be a weird thing to see. I know women do approach younger men but not as much as men do to women (at least I haven't seen it as much).
I don't believe I've seen any studies that state sperm quality is more responsible for birth defects than egg quality and I doubt that's true, TBH.
We are born with only a certain amount of immature eggs and they themselves age, in addition to the carrier of them aging and the hormones therefore being non-optimal to produce a healthy egg. With men, because "fresh" sperm are continuously created they only have that one factor, the aging and hormones of the carrier/producer himself. Yes, this means an older man's sperm has a higher chance of producing a child with birth defects but for him it's only the single factor (the producer himself aging).
At this point I don't care who has stellar sperm since I'm done with all that. I'm just interested in what I'm attracted to in men. Totally freeing.
From what I've seen many men do date younger right after a divorce because they aren't looking for a serious relationship. This makes sense.
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I just don't understand that mindset. Aren't there plenty of horny-as-hell divorced ladies their own age, or is it just that those women aren't enough of an egotistical security blanket for them???
Men over 40 get a LOT of social pressure from other men to date younger. And they may not talk to women friends about the subject, so they don't realise what a turn-off it is to women of all ages.
I think there is a 'habit' factor, too. When I first broke up with my hubby, and once I was ready to date again, I found my eye drawn to men who were the age I was when I was last dating -- ten years earlier.
My eye would skip right over men my own age. I had to consciously retrain myself by, when I noticed some guy was hot, forcing myself to estimate his age, then telling myself, 'too young', and then look back over the room or wherever I was and specifically look for guys my own age.
Heck, I still do this, many years post-divorce . I know now from experience that I do not actually want a relationship with a man in his late 20s, no matter how mature for his age he is.
Guy friends I have talked to have had very similar experiences, with the pre-marriage age habits, and the trying it and finding it doesn't work, and the learning through experience that they can only have a satisfying relationship with someone their own age.
Men over 40 get a LOT of social pressure from other men to date younger. And they may not talk to women friends about the subject, so they don't realise what a turn-off it is to women of all ages.
I think there is a 'habit' factor, too. When I first broke up with my hubby, and once I was ready to date again, I found my eye drawn to men who were the age I was when I was last dating -- ten years earlier.
My eye would skip right over men my own age. I had to consciously retrain myself by, when I noticed some guy was hot, forcing myself to estimate his age, then telling myself, 'too young', and then look back over the room or wherever I was and specifically look for guys my own age.
Heck, I still do this, many years post-divorce . I know now from experience that I do not actually want a relationship with a man in his late 20s, no matter how mature for his age he is.
Guy friends I have talked to have had very similar experiences, with the pre-marriage age habits, and the trying it and finding it doesn't work, and the learning through experience that they can only have a satisfying relationship with someone their own age.
You know, that (the bolded) is very interesting.
I definitely get an "oh, he is hot" feeling from some significantly younger men (just as young women are cute and sexy, young men are cute and sexy!), I just wouldn't consider approaching them (if I were single). Just wouldn't be for me and I may just come off as an old lech. But really just because it wouldn't be for me to date significantly younger or older. Not enough to relate to.
It's probably "unfair" of me that the thought of sex with a 60-year-old man makes me squick and want to just run into a cave somewhere and hide. But it is what it is.
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
... yep the idea of having sex with a man old enough to be my dad makes me sick.
I think those are perfectly normal feelings at our age. But I think when we are 60 ourselves we will feel differently .
We are born with only a certain amount of immature eggs and they themselves age, in addition to the carrier of them aging and the hormones therefore being non-optimal to produce a healthy egg. With men, because "fresh" sperm are continuously created they only have that one factor, the aging and hormones of the carrier/producer himself.
Actually, IIRC, recent research has shown the egg thing to be a myth.
I think those are perfectly normal feelings at our age. But I think when we are 60 ourselves we will feel differently .
Yes! This, exactly! It's not the specific age itself that turns me off, it's the extreme difference, even to the "style" in which people talk, exhibit themselves, etc. when they're from a different generation. They don't think they do...but they do. A 46-year-old's unconscious actions and traits say, "Hey, we may have gone to school together." A 65-year-old's unconscious actions and traits say, "Hey, I might have played poker with your dad, and boy howdy but did we put the 'sexy' in polyester suits." Ohhhh no, just...no.
No amount of "I'm young at heart and by the way, I LOVE Muse** and Pink" will change that, it's a part of whom (who? can't remember the grammar) we are...how we grew up, the people we were surrounded by, etc.
So when I'm 60, I'm pretty sure I'll no longer squick at the thought of sex with a 60-year-old.
Actually, IIRC, recent research has shown the egg thing to be a myth.
What, that we're only born with a certain amount of immature eggs/egg precursors?
Totally fascinating, do you have any info?
I heart me some new science. (Geek...geek...geek alert...sirens blaring, lights flashing)
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I'm just interested in what I'm attracted to in men. 
Totally freeing.
A 46-year-old's unconscious actions and traits say, "Hey, we may have gone to school together." A 65-year-old's unconscious actions and traits say, "Hey, I might have played poker with your dad, and boy howdy but did we put the 'sexy' in polyester suits." Ohhhh no, just...no.
