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As I get older I'm finding that I have a hard time being alone. When I'm not in a relationship, I usually feel like I should be doing something, accomplishing something, moving towards something. I wouldn't say I'm a "relationship hopper", but I typically am in a relationship more often than not.
I'm newly single, working full-time and in school part-time, and I go out with friends every other week. I exercise regularly, my health is great, I keep my life in order...but to me it feels like it's "not enough".
In high school and college I was very much a social butterfly and I felt energized by that. Alone time was very rare for me. I enjoyed always having something to do, somewhere to go. Now I find myself longing for that college environment, where all your friends are right there and there's so much happening at any given moment. But realistically I know the adult world is just not like that.
Anyone else have a hard time with being alone, feeling like you have to do more, more, more?
I go through cycles. Unbearable, bearable, unbearable, bearable, etc. I am slightly introverted though. I'm guessing extroverts have a harder time with too much alone time. Most of my friends can not stand being alone (by alone, I mean, not in a relationship) and are never alone.
I don't like being alone, even though I'm introverted. I can see it being tougher for an extrovert. Then again, an extrovert can go meet people (maybe not a mate) anytime. I, on the other hand, sit at home alone on a Saturday night wishing I was not only in a relationship, but married. Yeah, I hate it.
You're not use to being alone again. Give your self time to acclimate to your new found freedom.
What ever you do don't jump into another relationship.
It didn't take me long before I was back on the hedonic treadmill after being in a relationship. I guess, I have many goals in life I wanted to achieve, with or without a committed partner.
It's Human nature to be sociable. If you keep jumping from one relationship to another I think that you may need to work on your inner feelings instead of relying on another person to make you feel comfortable with your life.
We all get lonely. How we spend that alone time is the important aspect.
Have you ever done an "alone" hobby or interest? Like painting, writing, making crafts, tinkering with cars, setting that goal to work towards running a marathon, etc? Something that you are interested in may make those times when no one else is around more enjoyable and give you feelings of accomplishments.
As I get older I'm finding that I have a hard time being alone. When I'm not in a relationship, I usually feel like I should be doing something, accomplishing something, moving towards something. I wouldn't say I'm a "relationship hopper", but I typically am in a relationship more often than not.
I'm newly single, working full-time and in school part-time, and I go out with friends every other week. I exercise regularly, my health is great, I keep my life in order...but to me it feels like it's "not enough".
In high school and college I was very much a social butterfly and I felt energized by that. Alone time was very rare for me. I enjoyed always having something to do, somewhere to go. Now I find myself longing for that college environment, where all your friends are right there and there's so much happening at any given moment. But realistically I know the adult world is just not like that.
Anyone else have a hard time with being alone, feeling like you have to do more, more, more?
Nope, I have always been quite content with or without a relationship. I have never depended on anyone else to fulfill my life so it has never been an issue with me. I also never increased anything I normally did because I was busy enough without adding anything additional.
As a borderline introvert, I yearn less for constant companionship that for the comforting feeling that somebody out there cares for me, not merely through politeness or professional association or shared interests, but genuine fondness; and presumably I'd reciprocate in kind. That feeling, I think, is accentuated shortly after leaving a long-term relationship. Obviously, the longer the relationship, the longer it takes to unwind one's erstwhile self-conceptualization as half of a couple, resuming the role of an autonomous individual. This is not to imply that a close relationship obliterates the self - certainly it should not! But it does mean that driving alone, dining alone, traveling alone, and yes, sleeping alone, requires a substantial mental readjustment. While memory of the former relationship is fresh, it's almost incomprehensible how to behold oneself as this new, solitary entity. Yet I wonder whether in due time the greater danger does not become being too successful as lone-wolf, where one has to adroitly adapted to solitary prowling, that one can't healthily rejoin the pack, as it were, and searching for a new partner becomes problematic.
The more that I think about it, the more I see how this "more, more, more" aspect of my personality seeps into other areas of my life. For example at work, I will see people in higher positions than me and I'll think, "Why am I not there? Why am I not doing what they're doing?" I think that drive is a good thing to have, and maybe it's that I have a lot of energy and desire to have people/places/things to direct that energy towards.
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