U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,398,375 times
Reputation: 24873

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
Still, to be 100% fair, AtlGuy has a valid point -- namely, that women are always the gatekeepers for relationships, and have the most power in determining whether she will give a guy a "go" or a "no go" for a relationship.

Please note: I am *not* saying that women should be forced into being in a relationship with a guy, against their will. Far from it. Just that some women may not necessarily always give a guy a full, fair, or genuine chance, with winning their hearts. The "someone better will always come along, so why should I even bother with him or give him a real chance?" mentality...
I'm the (Gate Keeper?!)

 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,784,820 times
Reputation: 16226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
Still, to be 100% fair, AtlGuy has a valid point -- namely, that women are always the gatekeepers for relationships, and have the most power in determining whether she will give a guy a "go" or a "no go" for a relationship.

Please note: I am *not* saying that women should be forced into being in a relationship with a guy, against their will. Far from it. Just that some women may not necessarily always give a guy a full, fair, or genuine chance, with winning their hearts. The "someone better will always come along, so why should I bother with him or give him a real chance?" mentality...
Actually, I disagree... men hold the exact same power. Can't force a man to be in a relationship either. Can't force a man to be with a woman after she 'puts out', can't force a man to be with a woman he doesn't find attractive or force him to give her a real chance.

I mean, as a woman who has wanted a relationship with many men who have all turned her down, I know both sexes hold just about equal power in that respect.

ETA: Actually, in retrospect you're also assuming that all men want relationships, when in my experience most men just want to sleep around or hook up with as many women as possible...so really, the MEN are the gatekeepers for relationships if you really think about it.
 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,398,375 times
Reputation: 24873
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Actually, I disagree... men hold the exact same power. Can't force a man to be in a relationship either. Can't force a man to be with a woman after she 'puts out', can't force a man to be with a woman he doesn't find attractive or force him to give her a real chance.

I mean, as a woman who has wanted a relationship with many men who have all turned her down, I know both sexes hold just about equal power in that respect.
 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:40 PM
 
5,387 posts, read 6,264,967 times
Reputation: 4546
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Men have the power. Men decide who gets approached. The women who aren't on their radar lose, there's nothing they can do about it. Even if the women approach, the guys turn them down unless they're "hot".
Perhaps true, but still, men will also inevitably bear the most brunt of the emotional cost from being rejected by many (even most?) of the women who they approach. Women traditionally get outright-rejected far less frequently than men, b/c they usually don't approach men directly. And rejection hurts, especially when you get 10's or even 100's of them, and maybe all in a row...men have feelings too...

Last edited by Phoenix2017; 06-25-2013 at 08:04 PM.. Reason: Corrections
 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:42 PM
 
1,463 posts, read 1,811,795 times
Reputation: 2481
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL View Post
After reading this thread, i feel like such an idiot

It seems im the only woman alive that has always paid for her meals.
No, you are not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
Just that some women may not necessarily always give a guy a full, fair, or genuine chance, with winning their hearts. The "someone better will always come along, so why should I even bother with him or give him a real chance?" mentality...
But doesn't that go both ways too? I've known plenty of men who want to "keep their options open" i.e, meet a cute girl, but maybe they'll find a better looking, younger "model" so they don't commit or give the girl a chance, for the same mentality. I've certainly been on that side of the coin, believe me.
 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:50 PM
 
1,303 posts, read 1,630,183 times
Reputation: 979
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Gender roles done evolved. Get with it or get lost.

Ya'll wanted equal pay, equal treatment, and respect. Now that a lot of you have this, it is time for equality to permeate every aspect of life, dating included. We want some effort out of ya'll too.
Equality doesn't mean going for extremes and taking everything so literal. That's the same as if you told someone to go a bit to the north because it's hot and the pilot takes you all the way towards Antarctica.
 
Old 06-25-2013, 07:59 PM
 
5,387 posts, read 6,264,967 times
Reputation: 4546
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Actually, I disagree... men hold the exact same power. Can't force a man to be in a relationship either. Can't force a man to be with a woman after she 'puts out', can't force a man to be with a woman he doesn't find attractive or force him to give her a real chance.

I mean, as a woman who has wanted a relationship with many men who have all turned her down, I know both sexes hold just about equal power in that respect.

ETA: Actually, in retrospect you're also assuming that all men want relationships, when in my experience most men just want to sleep around or hook up with as many women as possible...so really, the MEN are the gatekeepers for relationships if you really think about it.
Touche -- very well-spoken my friend JJ; I admittedly cannot argue with your logic here...
 
Old 06-25-2013, 08:02 PM
 
5,387 posts, read 6,264,967 times
Reputation: 4546
Quote:
Originally Posted by DR2012 View Post
But doesn't that go both ways too? I've known plenty of men who want to "keep their options open" i.e, meet a cute girl, but maybe they'll find a better looking, younger "model" so they don't commit or give the girl a chance, for the same mentality. I've certainly been on that side of the coin, believe me.
You're right; very true...I freely admit that some of my own personal experience with what I had mentioned earlier may be more directly-related to the specific region where I live (D.C.), rather than women universally or globally.
 
Old 06-25-2013, 08:07 PM
 
5,387 posts, read 6,264,967 times
Reputation: 4546
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
I'm the (Gate Keeper?!)
i.e., Men say "would you like to go out/have dinner sometime/be in a relationship?" Women either say "Yes" or "No" (but much more often -- as in exactly 97%+ of the time -- it has been a "No", in my own personal experience, and in my attempts at being able to successfully get into a relationship. Of the many, many women I was ever romantically interested in, throughout my life, only 2-3 said "Yes", to a relationship with me). Hence, women being the "gatekeepers".

Last edited by Phoenix2017; 06-25-2013 at 08:13 PM.. Reason: Adds / Edits
 
Old 06-25-2013, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,398,375 times
Reputation: 24873
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
i.e., Men say "would you like to go out/have dinner sometime/be in a relationship?" Women either say "Yes" or "No" (but much more often -- as in exactly 97%+ of the time -- it has been a "No", in my own personal experience). Hence, the "gatekeepers".
Hmmm....not with me. I asked guys out. Men take to long to ask a woman out.

I think men are the gatekeeper and sometimes it has an electric fence around it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top