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My 17 year old brother is dating a girl of the same age. He lives in the house with my mother and I, his girlfriend comes over all the time.
For the past several months, every three or so days, my brother and his girlfriend get in seriously heated arguments. I don't understand how they are a functioning couple anymore. In the past she has refused to leave our home under the pleads of my brother, mom, and also this girl's dad (who had to phyiscally remove her). She is obssessive about my brother and would just refuse to leave our home until he forgave her. it's really sad.
Today she actually had the audacity to forcefully push my mom out of the way for standing between her and my brother in yet another argument that was getting overly intense. My mom told my brother she is no longer welcome here, and I totally agree with that. Neither of us like her to begin with. She just comes here and never acknowledges anyone else, eats our food, uses everything. It's awkward and not right.
Now my brother is freaking out and is making suicidal threats to my mom about not being able to hold himself together without her, which I am pretty confident is just leverage to get her back in the house. I think he is just holding on for whatever reason. Now my mom, in fear of her son's life, is allowing her back in for the night and indefinitely. Ugh.
It drives me nuts to be put in a position like this. Imagine having to sit around in your own home and watch someome you don't want around walk about after physically assaulting you? How could someone like that even voluntarily want to come here? That is how my mom feels right now. My blood is boiling. I can't imagine what she feels. Like, this girl is here right now just sitting on the patio. Geez.
My mom has set my brother up with councillors in the past and stuff. Offered appointments for medication, which were recommended by doctors, too. He refuses. She's trying to figure out how to get him to crisis, which I think is necessary anyways, but it's hard to get a young adult around against their will.
I can't tolerate being held hostage in your own home. What would you do?
call the cops and have them escort her off the property, she doesn't live there and it needs to be made clear if she is going to be there its under the rules of the household. eliminate her form the equation until your brother is able to cope and manage things with a reasonable mind. each and every time she attempts to be in that house have her escorted away until the message is clear to her.
which brings us to:
if you brother is making suicidal threats, Take threats seriously. tell him you are going to call for help if this behavior continues THEN DO IT. not tomorrow or the day after next or the next time he acts up...NOW. do not make threats back and not take action on them, this will just cause more conflict. don't fight him on things, don't confront him about manipulation of others through threats and do not give into the demands made while threatening. end this behavior here and now and eliminate the possibilities of him being serious about them....send the message that you care about him and/or manipulation like this will not be tolerated.
make your intentions known and act on them. do not back away from this if it blows over and wait for another episode to occur before thinking about it again. commit.
seek immediate professional help. call a local crisis line or hospital emergency department and ask for advice and guidance.
Last edited by rego00123; 06-28-2013 at 11:47 PM..
Trespassing is against the law and no one uses anyone without ones permission.
As far as the "suicidal threats," oh well. If he's going to do it he will.
Stories like this makes me glad I never had children. I couldn't deal with this. Your mom needs to put her foot down and bar her from her house. She needs to take legal action if necessary.
She is 17. That means she's a minor. If I were your mother, I would have a little talk with her parents about her behavior in my house. She'll be 18 soon enough, and no longer protected from physical or legal repercussions if she tries something like that with someone less forgiving.
She is 17. That means she's a minor. If I were your mother, I would have a little talk with her parents about her behavior in my house. She'll be 18 soon enough, and no longer protected from physical or legal repercussions if she tries something like that with someone less forgiving.
sounds like the girls parents are aware already and given the fact she is acting that way in someone else s home...you can imagine what she must act like in her own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesse44
also this girl's dad (who had to phyiscally remove her)
Last edited by rego00123; 06-29-2013 at 12:06 AM..
call the cops and have them escort her off the property,
Something like this. She sounds like a nut case. Pushing your mom is assault. Your mom should talk to her parents about her behavior.
Your mom needs to get your brother into counseling. Easier said than done, but she should keep trying, without being critical of him or coming across harsh.
When someone threatens suicide, can't that person be forced into a hospital for 3 days for observation?
I thought of posting something similar.
At 17 he is considered a minor. The parent(s) should commit him but it's probably going to be on his record and that doesn't bode well for his future. It may still be the best option.
When someone threatens suicide, can't that person be forced into a hospital for 3 days for observation?
yes.
and if the person is non cooperative they will escalate the situation and hold them for further treatment.
if you cannot get them to the hospital because they refuse to go on their own will you need to call the police. they will be on that call as quickly as any other domestic situation.
they will take him to the hospital if the parent isn't willing to, they have to by law when someone isn't showing sound mind and is showing the intent to harm themselves or others.
the problem in these situations generally isn't getting the person there and seen, its paying for the health care when those observation days are over. it can be expensive even with insurance covering the majority of the bills
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