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I have been working in this for years. My self esteem is actually now much higher than it used to be. But, yes, ive had NO self esteem for years and still have a long way to go till i reach the sky .
You may be selling yourself short. Codependency is an easy label to pin on someone who "loves too much". But where's the line? I guess, if this is a pattern, the same story, repeatedly.
You can't change your feelings without changing your behavior, first. Enjoy the sex. Take the rest slow to see where he is going. Stay close to your friends. Stay busy.
Wont get into details cause this is a PG13 forum, but did you ever were in a relationship when sex was so overwhelmingly amazing that you find yourself thinking you are in love with a person too soon (less than 2 months after starting going out) but you are really just feeling lust??
I ve been going out with this guy for the last 2 months, after my very long 7 year relationship ended, and, well, lets put it this way: never before had sex with someone like i do with him. Either it is insane chemistry, or he is out of this world cause he is older and more experienced, or am i out of this world cause he makes me, or we make eachother the best cause of the chemistry. I dont know. But it is amazing. He has all the other qualities i like in a guy too (smart, intellectual, writer, funny, humble, nice and a gentleman) but its not possible im IN LOVE (wich i feel) with someone i just know for 2 months after being in such a long relationship. I just dont find it possible that im feeling LOVE so soon, so i might be confusing it with the lust i feel when im with him?? what do u think? is this possible? am I in love?? Im terryfied by the thought of being in love and vulnerable again
Lust can grow into love.. sure, you may be developing deeper feelings for him.
Oxytocin could also be a reason why you feel the way you do, especially whenever you orgasm, the hormone build up gets stronger and stronger and peaks about 3 years into the relationship and plateaus.
6 months since this relationship ended and this guy was still the best partner ive ever had. A lot of water has gone under the bridge, other relationship passed, but still, no one (before or after) made me feel 10% of all the things this guy made me feel.
I think i was really in love and im still in love with him. Probably always will be . Time passed and it told me what i needed to know. Best guy i ever met.
Clearly he didnt feel the same way cause he is with someone else now. Still hold him close to my heart and life goes on, but, damn, reading old posts i found this one and almost started crying when i read what i wrote back then. How happy i was. How amazing being with him was. Feelings are still there but i have no other choice than moving on.
And the worst thing:he set the bar high. No one can compare to him in any aspect. Ive been with other guys and the differnce is incredible. I have the feeling that if i ever decide to stay with someone, i will be settling. Cause i have never met someone like him .
6 months since this relationship ended and this guy was still the best partner ive ever had. A lot of water has gone under the bridge, other relationship passed, but still, no one (before or after) made me feel 10% of all the things this guy made me feel.
I think i was really in love and im still in love with him. Probably always will be . Time passed and it told me what i needed to know. Best guy i ever met.
Clearly he didnt feel the same way cause he is with someone else now. Still hold him close to my heart and life goes on, but, damn, reading old posts i found this one and almost started crying when i read what i wrote back then. How happy i was. How amazing being with him was. Feelings are still there but i have no other choice than moving on.
And the worst thing:he set the bar high. No one can compare to him in any aspect. Ive been with other guys and the differnce is incredible. I have the feeling that if i ever decide to stay with someone, i will be settling. Cause i have never met someone like him .
Been there, done that. It may take a couple years to get over someone that set the bar so high, but you'll live to see that there are others out there with his best qualities. The hard part is finding one that feels the same about you.
In my opinion, the plateau could just keep on going up, for even years. What you describe is beyond really good rebound sex. You have met a guy who is right for you on many levels who is also 1 in 1000 as far as Lovers go. Just because you have a world shaking, out of body sex with a man does not mean that he is the one and only forever. Every girlfriend he has had may have the same experience as you and he is not with them any longer
Enjoy as much as you can and save the long term planning for a year or so down the road.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL
6 months since this relationship ended and this guy was still the best partner ive ever had. A lot of water has gone under the bridge, other relationship passed, but still, no one (before or after) made me feel 10% of all the things this guy made me feel.
I think i was really in love and im still in love with him. Probably always will be . Time passed and it told me what i needed to know. Best guy i ever met.
Welcome back to your thread SophieLL. So sad that it came to an end but would you have given up on the experience in hindsite?
What I found most interesting about your thread is I reconnected with my female equivalent to your man shortly after you posted this thread. She had a boyfriend who she split with and I contacted her about that time. We met back up, but no sex. I really wanted to ask her if she had the same mind blowing experience with the man she replaced me with but I figured it would be inapropriate.
Welcome back to your thread SophieLL. So sad that it came to an end but would you have given up on the experience in hindsite?
What I found most interesting about your thread is I reconnected with my female equivalent to your man shortly after you posted this thread. She had a boyfriend who she split with and I contacted her about that time. We met back up, but no sex. I really wanted to ask her if she had the same mind blowing experience with the man she replaced me with but I figured it would be inapropriate.
You should have asked her!
Thanks for your kind words, and, in hindsite, i still would have done everything exactly like i did it. No regrets. Even if it hurts, it was so worth it
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