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Old 07-04-2013, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,428 posts, read 17,619,243 times
Reputation: 39906

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordSquidworth View Post
Well! It's made clearer and clearer why half the marriages in this country end up in divorce with the attitudes shown!

I wanted help interpreting the mind of a young female. A species I never fully understand, despite having two sisters the same age.

That marriage, and babies... Yea that's all she talked about two weeks before it all started. Which made it even more confusing.
Well first thing you need to know is that they aren't a group with a linked mind. They are all different. How can you expect for us to know what she is thinking any better than you?

I think you need to realize that your "logical" mind might not be on target.
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,584 posts, read 30,493,706 times
Reputation: 22713
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Well first thing you need to know is that they aren't a group with a linked mind. They are all different. How can you expect for us to know what she is thinking any better than you?

I think you need to realize that your "logical" mind might not be on target.
If there was any logic applied in this instance.
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:12 PM
 
3,558 posts, read 4,138,519 times
Reputation: 3743
Op have you ever considered you may be acting controlling? If you seemingly "force" her to get back with you, don't you think you may always be scared she will leave?

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Old 07-04-2013, 08:40 PM
 
5,038 posts, read 3,327,862 times
Reputation: 4857
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Describe how your relationship was good, and for what percent of the time it was like that.

Figure out if the bad parts can be corrected by you, and if she sees, and is willing to change things on her part.
I already made the biggest move to correct the problems, I moved. I was living in a building I own and rent out the extra space. It was suffocating. Far easier to manage from elsewhere. I also moved from the city to the country, where I grew up. I was in the city for school, but I graduated in May.

An older lady said don't do anything, just let her come to me. I don't initiate contact. She's starting piping up more often. Now she texts a couple random things a day. She was asking me something earlier today, knew she was up to something, when I asked she said "nothing" and when I didn't reply for awhile she had to call to tell me.

Most of it's me, and I realize that. Only thing I'd like to see change with her situation is her job. It's retail, and it stresses her out waaaay too much. She loves the job, but its a big box store and the manager is awful (and a leading cause of the stress). I think she's starting to see that. She's made a couple comments about it. She's fresh out of college too. Also sorta links with something else I was told, I'm moving on in life with the college step done(finding a full time job, change of scenery, etc) she's still in limbo. Until she decides to do the same, it's just a waiting game for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Well first thing you need to know is that they aren't a group with a linked mind. They are all different. How can you expect for us to know what she is thinking any better than you?

I think you need to realize that your "logical" mind might not be on target.
It's not that my "logical" mind isn't on target (well it's obviously off), its that she is completely emotionally charged and making sense of it has been difficult because I'm more black and white, but I'm starting to figure it out. This thread and a couple pms at least have helped me to center thoughts, as well as talking to my mother and others. The bit about focusing on something else and letting her come to me probably helped the most. and I don't think she thought I'd move out of the house, the day I did it she's been contacting me. I can tell she's still pretty upset, and has things to say she hasn't said, so I've just been receptive when she talks and otherwise leave her be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
Op have you ever considered you may be acting controlling? If you seemingly "force" her to get back with you, don't you think you may always be scared she will leave?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2
I haven't really been doing anything so I'm not sure where you're getting your stuff. The issue isn't what do I do. It's deciphering her.



Edit:

Since I moved out of the house actually all hostilities have ceased. Every conversation has been civil.

Last edited by LordSquidworth; 07-04-2013 at 08:57 PM..
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,014 posts, read 37,656,456 times
Reputation: 73592
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordSquidworth View Post
The issue isn't what do I do. It's deciphering her.

As long as you believe this, it will never work out.
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