Old men with young women - are they pathetic? (married, husband, younger)
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My grandpa was originally married to my grandma for around 30ish years. She passed away from cancer. He got remarried around 5 years later, and was married around 8 years. She passed away as well.
My grandpa is now close to 80. His gf is much younger than him. Maybe 60ish? he does pretty well on his own and is a fun guy, but she still helps take care of him a bit in his old age. They just met around a year or two ago.
Is it clear she is a "little" after the money probably? Most likely.
My grandpa has a lot of money. However he is having a blast right now with this woman, he his happier than any of us can remember in the last 10 years. It's like she revived him.
At the same time NONE OF US CARE IF HE LEFT HER ALL HIS MONEY! It's his money, he can do with it what he wants! No one in my family has been raised to expect hand outs. Nor do we go looking for them in any case.
I think it's beyond selfish for people to complain about the money for their "kids" in that situation. I don't think anyone is owed anything when someone dies, other than maybe a few sentimental items. I would love to leave my kids with an inheritance, however if they seem to think they are "owed" it, we would have a very serious issue.
well, to me, family is an earned title. Unfortunately, a lot of people has taken that title for granted.
Not many people have the nuggets to state this out loud, so....good for you.
Millions of "older" men stick it out for the sake of--take your pick-- children, grandkids, what the neighbors will think, etc. The ones who don't have maybe come to realize that nothing they do can make things better. A happily married man usually does not stray.
Sometimes age doesn't matter. My Aunt is in her late 50's and my uncle is in his mid 40's. She takes care of herself. She looks great. She taught him how to be a great business man. He's immature and she helps him out. She makes sure his family gets time together and hers. They are fun to watch together.
All people chose based mostly on some pretty basic factors. Physical appearance, money, social status, emotional stability, perceived ability to be sexual satisfying, produce attractive children etc. So who is anyone to judge others choices. Why is a woman who wants to marry a young attractive man from a rich family any better than a woman who wants to marry a rich older man. They are both after the money. People will make fun of the 50 year old guy who has the young 30"s trophy wife, and ends up with little children. Why? She went for the trophy husband.
I don't plan to start a family until I'm in my mid 40's. I'm in my 30's now and set to retire very soon. With that said, I need to find a fertile child bearing woman full of exuberance and energy to help care for my kid/s. I might even consider adoption and due away with the whole mommy drama.
There seems to be some kind of bizarre support for this kind of arrangement, and that is 50yr old + men, with 20 something girlfriends.
It depends WHY they are together. If the old guy is with the girl for no other reason despite her age - then yes I see an issue there. "Pathetic" is not the word I would use - but clearly there is an issue.
However if two people of great age difference are together because they WANT to be with each other - then I do not see an issue.
I don't have a comment for the main subject, but I always feel the need to stomp out this urban legend every time I see it. There is no 50% divorce rate. I am not going to retype it again like I usually do, but here is an article that explains it well: The Myth of the High Rate of Divorce | Psych Central
50% probably is indeed a myth, but we shouldn't err on the opposite extreme either. The above-linked site has no references and is just the site-author's ruminations on statistics that he/she has chosen to accept. It claims, among other things, that for college-educated couples, the divorce rate is only 20%; and that 90% of all marriages, regardless of socioeconomic status survive to at least 5-years. Really? Consider as countervailing arguments Information on Divorce Rate and Statistics.
What does appear to be the case is that survival of the marriage seems to correlate with education and affluence, so that "young professionals" who marry tend to stay married. Those who do divorce later in life would have an especially difficult time finding a replacement partner, because most of the would-be new partners are still married and therefore unavailable.
Now returning to this thread's topic: for middle-aged men who presumably have established lives and material wherewithal, the remarriage market is tight, for the aforementioned reasons. Much older men have the "advantage" that widows outnumber widowers, but your typical 50-year-old is far too young for that market. A completely natural response would be to look for younger women.
Also, an obvious observation: older men have been marrying younger women for, oh, 5000 years of recorded history. It's only since the 19th century that society has started taking a dim view of men marrying women who are young enough to be their daughters.
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