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Old 07-03-2013, 06:23 AM
 
18 posts, read 26,611 times
Reputation: 33

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It's very though. I won't speak about it with him. I will just give him some more time.
The biggest problem here is that I feel like he's afraid of hurting her but he doesn't care at all about mine. He even avoids to go out to places where they used to hang out together. They have friends in common and he only meets them when I'm not around.
I think that the photos are the reflection of our relationship. He wants to have someone there when he needs.
I'm seriously thinking that the best will be take it very easy. Maybe it's a relationship for me, not for him.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:17 AM
 
18 posts, read 26,611 times
Reputation: 33
Thank you! You guys are just too nice!!! :*
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:27 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,072,443 times
Reputation: 11796
I would end the relationship. A year is way too long to spend with someone who is afraid to even tell anyone that you two are together. Getting over a marriage is hard, but that's no excuse to hurt someone else. It's clear that he's not ready to let go of her.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:49 AM
 
803 posts, read 1,874,157 times
Reputation: 577
sandrasilva, i dont think its normal for him to have pics up of his ex and none of u. heres some reasons that could be the cause of that...

~maybe hes religeous and he doesnt want to explain a divorce to friends colleagues etc..

~or maybe hes not religeous but still doesnt want to talk to friends colleagues etc

~maybe they didnt divorce yet, and he doesnt want to show the courts he moved on already.

~maybe he still loves her and what the other posters are saying is that you are a rebound.

~maybe he doesnt want other people to see you. hes secretive and doesnt want other ppl to c u.

~he doesnt go on fb much so he doesnt really feel the need to update on who he is dating.

~ you could just be a temporary distraction. nothing serious.

~ he was married 12 yrs. he may need some time before moving into a relationship.

~with that being said, he may not want to put u on fb and then when u guys break up, have to explain THAT to everyone.

im sure there might be other reasons, but we cant get inside his head to figure it out. ask him. u said he gets upset when u bring up the ex, then that right there is telling u that maybe, just maybe, he isnt over her yet.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:57 AM
 
3,549 posts, read 5,353,614 times
Reputation: 3769
1. There is no way I would be cool with that situation. Tons of pics of him and his ex and no pics of you? Umm no...

2. I would really re-evaluate your relationship. Does it say you guys are in a relationship on FB? Personally, if I'm dating someone active on FB (as i am) we aren't dating till it's on there. Usually she will ask anyways, but still. ZERO reason to keep your relationship "private" or a "secret" if whoever I'm with seems to be like that (exactly how your bf is) then I see no reason to be in a relationship. We can hang out, bang, whatever, but I'm going to hang out whoever I want, do whatever I want, etc. It's not a relationship if one person is hush hush.


3. I would talk to him about it before you waste more time. Get down to the root cause. One year is MORE than enough to move on. If he seems clearly ashamed or secretive there are more issues that you probably don't even know about it. He's your bf of a year, you should be able to talk to him about ANYTHING that bothers you. Period.
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:18 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,959,962 times
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He doesn't put out and he doesn't acknowledge you publicly. That's not good.
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Gaston, South Carolina
15,704 posts, read 9,418,980 times
Reputation: 17595
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
He doesn't put out and he doesn't acknowledge you publicly. That's not good.
He doesn't have pictures of her up on Facebook. She never said he doesn't "acknowledge" her in other ways. Yet anyway.
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Old 07-03-2013, 01:04 PM
 
803 posts, read 1,874,157 times
Reputation: 577
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog View Post
He doesn't have pictures of her up on Facebook. She never said he doesn't "acknowledge" her in other ways. Yet anyway.


heres the thing, the OP said that he has mutual friends with his ex wife and he doesnt bring her around/ i dont know if its in this thread or her other one. the OP has also mentioned that her and him dont have sex either. but in the facebook pics there are ones of him and ex wife in a hot tub hugging , etc so her boyfriend is capable of intimacy but for some reason, doesnt show it to OP

sandrasilva, there are so many HUGE red flags surrounding you. even if u dont want to break it off with him, do your heart a favor and do it anyway. u will thank yourself in the long run. why make him a priority when u are only an option? u can meet someone else who doesnt have all these issues that affect you directly. goodluck.
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Old 07-03-2013, 01:10 PM
 
18 posts, read 26,611 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy612 View Post
heres the thing, the OP said that he has mutual friends with his ex wife and he doesnt bring her around/ i dont know if its in this thread or her other one. the OP has also mentioned that her and him dont have sex either. but in the facebook pics there are ones of him and ex wife in a hot tub hugging , etc so her boyfriend is capable of intimacy but for some reason, doesnt show it to OP

sandrasilva, there are so many HUGE red flags surrounding you. even if u dont want to break it off with him, do your heart a favor and do it anyway. u will thank yourself in the long run. why make him a priority when u are only an option? u can meet someone else who doesnt have all these issues that affect you directly. goodluck.
Thanks so much. You guys rock! I can do much better. He's the one who loses. At the end of the day it's all about myself. Isn't it? I don't wanna be his nurse.
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Old 07-03-2013, 01:55 PM
 
3,218 posts, read 2,785,282 times
Reputation: 3459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy612 View Post
the OP has also mentioned that her and him dont have sex either. .

If you're dating someone a year and not having sex with them...thats a PROBLEM!!! Unless it's for regligous reasons or something (even then I think it's ridiculous). Anyway I'd be more worried about that then the FB pics.
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