Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:29 AM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
I would get rid of it no problem, but i think it would prove counter productive to working this out, long term.
You're wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:29 AM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,976,371 times
Reputation: 6848
This might seem out of left field, but could you tell me what you admire about her, what ways you look up to her, qualities she has that you hope to emulate?

If there are none, that might be the problem.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:30 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,592,324 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I find it strange that you moved in with her. She must have pushed for that, not you.
My lease was ending, we wanted to get a place together, but Chicago rental market being nuts in the summer months, we decided id move in with her for few months, and we'd revisit in fall/winter time. We got close quickly, I dont think we rushed into moving in together or anything. Pretty sure that part isnt part of the problem.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:33 AM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
My lease was ending, we wanted to get a place together, but Chicago rental market being nuts in the summer months, we decided id move in with her for few months, and we'd revisit in fall/winter time. We got close quickly, I dont think we rushed into moving in together or anything. Pretty sure that part isnt part of the problem.
I see. I just sensed that you're not all that into her and wondered why you moved in, but you have until the Fall.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:35 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,592,324 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by bannedontherun View Post
A lot of women periodically get this way.....they are far more emotional than men in general. Doesn't mean she needs counseling or is necessarily insecure. On your part I can detect a slight pleasure derived in her concerns. Let's face it, it's nice to be sought after and wanted but she doesn't see it that way and given your track record the concerns could be legitimate to her. I've been in the same boat and I'll usually give her a rundown, ( a list, if you will ) of what I could be doing i.e barhopping, hoeing around, hooking up with exes, etc and what I am actually doing like staying loyal, not going out, being true. Some reassurance usually quells it for awhile and as time goes on she'll probably be less concerned about it.
Thats pretty good advice, thanks. No pleasure derived from her concerns, Ive gotten more attention from women, when I was single to last me a lifetime or two. I just want her and i make sure she knows it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:36 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
I believe she has some deep rooted issues that are causing this, and i even told her she needs therapy, but it doesnt come accross very sincere during an argument, even if it actualy is. Im just trying to analyze my part in this, and if there is anything to make her feel more reassured.

When you speak to her about it, you tell take her and show her your drawers. You show her facebook with you logged on. You show her email. You show her your browsing history. Then you tell her this is the only time you are going to humor her lack of trust. At such time as you prove yourself the slightest bit untrustworthy, that conversation can be re-had. Until then, SHE needs to learn how deal with HER jealousy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:39 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
You handled the texting situation well. I seriously suggest getting rid of Facebook or completely stop being active on there. Since you haven't mentioned any other issues, she will be fine after that.

This is just wrong. You cede to these ridiculous "requests", it just makes you look guilty for something you never did. OP google fitness test. Or better yet go over to talkaboutmarriage.com and ask about it in the Men's Clubhouse. Be fit.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:41 AM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by bannedontherun View Post
A lot of women periodically get this way.....they are far more emotional than men in general. Doesn't mean she needs counseling or is necessarily insecure. On your part I can detect a slight pleasure derived in her concerns. Let's face it, it's nice to be sought after and wanted but she doesn't see it that way and given your track record the concerns could be legitimate to her. I've been in the same boat and I'll usually give her a rundown, ( a list, if you will ) of what I could be doing i.e barhopping, hoeing around, hooking up with exes, etc and what I am actually doing like staying loyal, not going out, being true. Some reassurance usually quells it for awhile and as time goes on she'll probably be less concerned about it.
Yes this is a good post.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:42 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,592,324 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
This might seem out of left field, but could you tell me what you admire about her, what ways you look up to her, qualities she has that you hope to emulate?

If there are none, that might be the problem.
Im not looking to emulate any qualities she has, Im a grown ass man. She has many good qualities, as posted in the OP. She's attractive, intelligent,giving, intelectually curious, adventurous, challenging, motivated, driven, funny, sarcastic. There are many reasons I want to be with her, and I think we complement each other well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2013, 11:43 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,592,324 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
This is just wrong. You cede to these ridiculous "requests", it just makes you look guilty for something you never did. OP google fitness test. Or better yet go over to talkaboutmarriage.com and ask about it in the Men's Clubhouse. Be fit.
What do you mean, be fit?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:59 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top