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Many things are interesting here:
1. this guy is 37 I seriously thought this guy was around 25 from all his posts over the months.
2. The OP has been a man-wh*** for a long time. He consistently talks of 'tight game' and how to 'get women' doesn't he? Is it ANY surprise that a woman would he extremely cautious and having a hard time with this guy? You can' convince me that IRL this guy doesn't have a HUGE ego, and is probably very difficult to be in a relationship with. His ideals and constant talk sound like a frat boy that never left 'the game'.
2a. After being a single bachelor for how long, it is absolutely no surprise to me that this guy has relationship issues. And him being 37 means he is set in his ways, and he won't change. His relationship skills are probably much lower than healthy people his age. I've known many people like him. They are great playa-playas, but they have a hard time transitioning into relationships. They spent so much time being a bachelor, they struggle in relationships.
3. And dear god, OP, you let her see your posts on this forum? I would think any healthy woman dating you would get extremely nervous reading your posts.
Just saying, I am not surprised this woman has trust issues with you. I would be extremely surprised if most women you date didnt have trust issues with you. If everyone around you is wrong, and you are always right, at what point does the light bulb turn on to realize that perhaps YOU are the reason these woman have trust issues? and it is Not them....but you that has the problem. Perhaps it is the way you act, or the posts on this forum she read about you and all your 'tight game'.
Of course, my 2 cents aren't worth much, and people don't even use pennies these days.
Yep. My post to this effect was deleted as "orphaned," but I said pretty much what you said, only differently. The OP has presented himself on this forum as a lothario, a modern-day Don Juan. Although I have my doubts about the veracity of that, myself, if he presents himself to her one-tenth of the way he presents his alleged experience and prowess as a master wangwielder here, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
Yep. My post to this effect was deleted as "orphaned," but I said pretty much what you said, only differently. The OP has presented himself on this forum as a lothario, a modern-day Don Juan. Although I have my doubts about the veracity of that, myself, if he presents himself to her one-tenth of the way he presents his alleged experience and prowess as a master wangwielder here, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
I was thinking "Didn't I read this same post a few pages back?"
And now I Know why you reposted and not because you are hammered.
It's hard to live a life as guilty until proven innocent.
You need to sit her down and have a heart felt talk with her. At least so she realizes the problem is with her. At least if she can learn to phrase things like "when I see those things on FB it makes me insecure" and not making it something you have done wrong. Though some counseling might be in order.
You can fix this now, or later (when it is much harder), but it needs to be fixed.
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Your history is probably not helping you here. If you found out, or she admitted, that she had indulged in a promiscuous lifestyle for years, stopping only when you and she became exclusive, wouldn't you have trouble trusting her, and wouldn't you worry that she might return to her old ways?
Going by his posting history here, my guess is he would say what he says on here all the time, about how the double-standard is just a reality, and women will always be judged on the number of their partners but men won't.
However, a lot of women would not care so much about the number of partners as much as the attitude taken toward them. A good half of his posts smack of pride in manipulating people into bed, and, as Jet says below, how he knows women better than they know themselves. The potential for physical infidelity would be enough to turn me off, as the dehumanizing way he often talks about women would lead me to expect to hear, "But she meant nothing to me, honey. It was just sex. Meaningless sex."
But beyond that, his attitude toward women would lead me not to trust him with my heart. I wouldn't trust him not to take a condescending, know-it-all attitude toward me and speak of me the way he speaks of the alleged legion of women he supposedly has had. It's one thing to have had a lot of partners. It's another thing entirely to natter on about it without regard to a partner's feelings. But to then turn around and denigrate her reaction to and concerns about the callousness he displays in telling her all of this? That's sociopathic and more than a bit sadistic.
I don't think she sounds insecure at all. I think she's just hurt, disappointed, and at war with her gut, which is probably telling her to run.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
Yep.
If I was dating a guy like the OP and knew about his past, I'd run away so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. The OP may consider it 'transparency' but she may see it as bragging and a disregard for her feelings. I don't take players seriously, especially the ones who brag about how they know women better than women know themselves.
It's hard to live a life as guilty until proven innocent.
You need to sit her down and have a heart felt talk with her. At least so she realizes the problem is with her. At least if she can learn to phrase things like "when I see those things on FB it makes me insecure" and not making it something you have done wrong. Though some counseling might be in order.
You can fix this now, or later (when it is much harder), but it needs to be fixed.
When someone goes out of his way to incriminate himself, he should expect it. If she has seen any of what he has written on here, she's putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with "OMG, RUN AWAY!"
Really, this boils down to him thinking she was going to be impressed with his "transparency." Well, it sounds like she's impressed all right, just not the way he had planned. It's one giant backfire.
When someone goes out of their way to incriminate themselves, they should expect it. If she has seen any of what he has written on here, she's putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with "OMG, RUN AWAY!"
Yeah, for a Mod, I sure can't remember posting histories.
If you've given her reason..... you pay the price.
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I'd hate for the OP, or, more relevantly, lurkers, to conclude from y'all's posts that it was a mistake to let the gf see his forum posts, or to tell her how many women he has slept with (or thinks he has slept with).
The point of transparency and honesty is that it allows people to quickly and efficiently find partners who are compatible with them. And part of that is weeding out those who are not compatible.
What Ascension needs is a woman who is comfortable with his past, has a realistic assessment of his likely future behaviour, and is ok with his attitudes towards her and other women.
This may or may not be the current gf. But if it's not, the goal should be to find that out right away and move on if necessary. He's not getting any younger.
Now, whether such a woman can exist in the universe as we know it is an open question, and, I think, worthy of discussion here.
I'd vote yes, as there are a lot of humans in the world and evolution favors variation. She will probably be a sociopath herself, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Sociopaths need lovin' too. And may be very uninhibited in bed .
When someone goes out of his way to incriminate himself, he should expect it. If she has seen any of what he has written on here, she's putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with "OMG, RUN AWAY!"
Really, this boils down to him thinking she was going to be impressed with his "transparency." Well, it sounds like she's impressed all right, just not the way he had planned. It's one giant backfire.
Just the whole "pick up artist" shyt is enough for women to "run" as you put it.
My ex was like this. He has a deep-rooted insecurity about being unlovable - or unwanted, really - and so that fear was always lurking in the back of his mind. He would take the smallest, most neutral thing and blow it up to be a personal attack on him. He was constantly telling himself that I didn't want to be in the relationship with him, and he would do things to sabotage our relationship, too.
Some people only see what they want to see, and some are so invested in protecting themselves and never getting hurt again that they will never open their hearts back up and will choose anger and bitterness over life and love.
If there's no improvement, sometimes you just have to walk away. You'll only exhaust yourself and get sucked into her negative world.
I'd hate for the OP, or, more relevantly, lurkers, to conclude from y'all's posts that it was a mistake to let the gf see his forum posts, or to tell her how many women he has slept with (or thinks he has slept with).
The point of transparency and honesty is that it allows people to quickly and efficiently find partners who are compatible with them. And part of that is weeding out those who are not compatible.
What Ascension needs is a woman who is comfortable with his past, has a realistic assessment of his likely future behaviour, and is ok with his attitudes towards her and other women.
This may or may not be the current gf. But if it's not, the goal should be to find that out right away and move on if necessary. He's not getting any younger.
Now, whether such a woman can exist in the universe as we know it is an open question, and, I think, worthy of discussion here.
I'd vote yes, as there are a lot of humans in the world and evolution favors variation. She will probably be a sociopath herself, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Sociopaths need lovin' too. And may be very uninhibited in bed .
There's transparency, like someone calling my SO repeatedly on our third date to the point where I said, "If that's one of your friends or something, maybe you should take the call. Maybe it's an emergency," and him saying, "Ugh, no, it's this girl I went out with once who has been calling and texting me seven times a day for a week. She won't leave me alone." (Note how there was no actual interaction with the person, especially right there in front of me, and no revelation until it was relevant.)
And then there's "transparency," which is getting a text from an ex and announcing it like, "Look at me, I'm such a stud, with all of these women I put my penis in. I'm so special, they just can't get enough of me, so they still text me all the time--and look, here is one now!"
Been here too long and read too many posts to think it's anything other than the latter. That's just the impression I get.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Just the whole "pick up artist" shyt is enough for women to "run" as you put it.
Aye.
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I seriously thought this guy was around 25 from all his posts over the months. 
.
(Note how there was no actual interaction with the person, especially right there in front of me, and no revelation until it was relevant.)
