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I recently met a girl off the internet. I contacted her after seeing her ad. We just had a couple email exchanges, texted a little and we met for dinner 2 nights ago. It was probably a typical meeting/date. I made no attempt to make a move on her, since we were just meeting for the first time.
Anyway, I texted her the next day to see if she wants to see me again. I was just being direct, so I know where I stand. She responded back with the same question. That was kind of lame, but whatever. I said "yes" she said "ok" I left it at that. Now I think she seems too passive or uninterested. I know I can text her and ask her to do something specific. But it seems like I'm already having to make all of the effort or just having to put myself out there. I would be interested in seeing her again, but only if she makes some effort to contact me. The way I see it, is do I really want to be the only one making an effort?
Also, the reason for texting isn't because I won't talk on the phone. I told her in the second email, that we can text, but I would prefer a quick phone conversation rather than a lot of texting. I she texted me first, but she was at work and she said she would call after work, but didn't. It seems she is text dependent.
Emails, texts and one dinner are not a huge amount of effort.
I think the worst thing to do is the bolded, because now you're placing an expectation on her that she's not even aware of. If you're interested in her, make that known, put in the effort that is required to show interest. It's not tit-for-tat and keeping score. If you like her and want to see her again, ask her out somewhere with a plan in mind. I think it takes a couple of dates to gauge interest and compatibility. If you think a couple of extra texts is too much effort, then I wouldn't bother dating at all.
I would go one step further than liberty. Not only are you placing an expectation on her to take initiative without her knowing you have that expectation, but you are also trying to manipulate her into that intiative by baiting her by initiating the conversation of seeing each other again.
I thought the fun in dating someone was going on dates, not seeing whether I could lead them to decisions by laying down some random breadcrumbs and expecting them to read my mind.
I would go one step further than liberty. Not only are you placing an expectation on her to take initiative without her knowing you have that expectation, but you are also trying to manipulate her into that intiative by baiting her by initiating the conversation of seeing each other again.
I thought the fun in dating someone was going on dates, not seeing whether I could lead them to decisions by laying down some random breadcrumbs and expecting them to read my mind.
I didn't really mean to play a game. I was trying to not play games by being direct. The only thing that bothered me is that she wouldn't directly answer the question "do you want to see me again?" It's either because she is on the fence or she is too insecure to say "yes" when obviously my asking means I am interested. I'll probably ask her out tomorrow or the next day.
If that's all it takes to discourage you, do her a favour and drop her. You're not interested in her, that much is clear. Shame she hasn't picked up on that yet.
I asked her when she's available...still waiting. Either way, I'll know what's going to happen sometime today. It's possible we're both on the fence. I'd have to see her again to know for sure.
She doesn't seem very interested in you. I'd drop her and find someone else.
You were right. She didn't get back to me. But that's ok. She was the first and only girl I contacted and I got to meet her a day after that, so that's not so bad. On to the next.
Put in the effort for a month or so, or maybe 10 dates. If she still does not ever take any initiative to make something more of the relationship then ask her why she behaves this way. If she gives you some vague answer then get rid of her and start looking elsewhere.
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