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I agree with the people who said keep his friendship. It is also good that you are not spending time with him after the tennis game. Continue to play tennis and move on to your next activity without him. I find it hard to believe that he is not interested. He may be a bit afraid to get into a relationship for a number of reasons. Consider "looking" and playing tennis with him. It is amazing how men sometimes change their minds when they think someone else is interested. Keep us posted.
I see people saying here that he seems like a real good, genuine friend and I should just value that and not push for anything more. Well, that's the way I've tried to behave for over a year now. But more and more I just feel frustrated around him...
Not sure why his rejection of me last year has affected me so much, why my self-esteem has taken such a hit. But after we spend time together, instead of just appreciating the friendship for what it is, I keeping thinking about how I want more with him... And maybe every bit of time I spend with him fills me with additional hope that it could happen ... (Wow, does it sound like I'm in the more typically "male role" here?) So maybe due to these bits of hope, I don't put enough time & effort into meeting someone else for a romantic relationship? (because I keep hoping he'll "see the light"?)
So that's why I asked the question here: "Should I Stop Spending Time with Him?" Yes, I know it's been a good friendship and I'd definitely miss aspects of that, but I'm worried that one day I might blurt out something to him about wanting more and ruin the friendship anyway by making a fool of myself. Keep telling myself "Don't Do That!"-- and it's a good thing I hardly drink at all, so I'm not a sloppy drunk!-- but it could still happen. That's why I'm trying to be pro-active & follow a plan the next few weeks-- spend less time around him, do other things, improve my tennis game by playing against other players, work on losing that additional 10 pounds, and then see how I feel...
If you can manage to see him as just a friend, not someone who you feel hurt and frustrated around due to unrequited feelings, I don't think you should write him off as a friend, but it may well be a wise choice to have stronger boundaries. Limiting contact will help remind you that "Hey, this guy is my friend, not a pseudo-boyfriend." Take a portion of the time you'd regularly spend with him, and put that time to use pursuing socializing with other men, other friends, etc.
It's fairly common, when you have a close friend of the opposite sex (and even more so if you have deeper feelings toward the person, even if they're not returned, and it sounds like they're not) to, without realizing it, lean on that person to avoid having to go out and find someone who is interested. It's a comfort zone thing. But for you, it's just making you feel badly, and reserving lots of time for him is taking up time you could be using otherwise, and possibly meeting someone who is interested.
However, I don't think you need to cut him off at the knees and not have any contact with him at all. Instead, just play tennis with him, and go home right afterwards. Then you'll have more time to dedicate to getting out there and finding someone you can date.
I agree with lilac110...let him be a friend...and keep looking for that someone special.
Something is not right here. In the one year that he spent with you he made no movement towards you? Seems like he is just not interested. Most guys don't need one year to make a move.
Yesterday, the guy I wrote about here asked me to play tennis with him after work. Since he's become a much better player lately, not sure I gave him that much of a challenge on the court, but it was a beautiful afternoon, we had a nice time & think we both got a good workout.
It was tennis only, didn't hang out afterwards. But during conversation on the court, we discussed the fact that he's recently lost a few pounds. So I remarked about how he's become such a healthy eater & said "Don't you eat the same thing for lunch now? You eat ________ every day, right?" He said "No, I don't eat that, I eat _________, you must have me mixed up with some other guy..."
Hmmmm.... interesting, and the kind of thing I usually interpret as a little flirtatious. Also, as usual, he had taken his top off while playing tennis, since it was very hot outside. And later on, when I got really sweaty, as usual, he remarked that it might help if I took mine off also... Well, these are the typical kind of things that have been keeping me going, as pathetic as that may sound...
But as a few people pointed out here, if he hasn't made a move on me yet, it's just not likely to happen. And it's been over a year since he rebuffed me when I showed an interest in having more with him. Since then, Nothing... Have to finally accept that nothing more is going to happen, for whatever reason, guess he just considers me a platonic "pal" or something...
So tonight, I finally took some steps to get past this, to stop wasting my time thinking about him. But it's not like I planned it. Instead, while browsing online, saw a personal ad I liked, responded to it, and then placed my own ad. And guess what? Got 5 replies within an hour!
And they were good replies too: age-appropriate, not sleazy and mostly fitting what I'm looking for... The cynic in me is truly amazed-- is this some kind of Sign? Hey, my ad was very detailed about myself (ex: was completely honest & upfront about my age & weight) & also very detailed about what I'm looking for. Amazingly, each guy who responded actually paid attention & seemed very interested! So guess I'm ready to give up on my dream of being with him... will soon respond back to those replies and see what happens...
Hey, it's helped so much to get feedback here-- Thanks again for giving me some different perspectives about the situation.
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... (Wow, does it sound like I'm in the more typically "male role" here?) So maybe due to these bits of hope, I don't put enough time & effort into meeting someone else for a romantic relationship? (because I keep hoping he'll "see the light"?)
about wanting more and ruin the friendship anyway by making a fool of myself.
Keep telling myself "Don't Do That!"
-- and it's a good thing I hardly drink at all, so I'm not a sloppy drunk!
-- but it could still happen. That's why I'm trying to be pro-active & follow a plan the next few weeks-- spend less time around him, do other things, improve my tennis game by playing against other players, work on losing that additional 10 pounds, and then see how I feel...
An Update--
Well, these are the typical kind of things that have been keeping me going, as pathetic as that may sound... 
