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Old 07-16-2013, 01:20 PM
 
3,549 posts, read 5,354,129 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are very basic components of human interaction and communication. People who can't read those cues are at a tremendous disadvantage in their every day dealing with people, whether it's in a work context, social or familial.

Furthermore, timing is important to effective communication. When someone strikes up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, male or female, it would be inappropriate and "creepy" for the person being approached to suddenly pipe up and say, "ooh, you're nice. Want to go get some coffee, and talk some more?" There's a rhythm to communications, and an appropriate time for moving things along. I wonder what some of these complainers would do if they chatted up a woman in the check-out line who took matters into her own hands and and said, "It's been great talking to you. Can I get your number?" They might be too flabbergasted to respond, or might think she was being too forward. hm... maybe we should run a C-D poll.
This. Body language and understanding people's non verbal cues is an amazing benefit for people. It can help in all aspects of life.

I read this book years ago. I'd highly recommend it to anyone.



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Last edited by houstan-dan; 09-25-2014 at 02:26 PM..
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Old 07-16-2013, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
11,325 posts, read 9,210,126 times
Reputation: 52459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
So very true. Inability to read body language is the biggest detriment to social interactions.
It's also very easy to mis-read signals. Then you have those who's only intention is to flirt or feed their ego. Leading someone on and game playing is so uncool.
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Old 07-16-2013, 05:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,064 posts, read 106,986,186 times
Reputation: 115858
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
It's also very easy to mis-read signals. Then you have those who's only intention is to flirt or feed their ego. Leading someone on and game playing is so uncool.
These are the people who mess it up for everyone else.
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Old 07-16-2013, 06:31 PM
 
Location: In the middle.
543 posts, read 532,764 times
Reputation: 571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are very basic components of human interaction and communication. People who can't read those cues are at a tremendous disadvantage in their every day dealing with people, whether it's in a work context, social or familial.

Furthermore, timing is important to effective communication. When someone strikes up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, male or female, it would be inappropriate and "creepy" for the person being approached to suddenly pipe up and say, "ooh, you're nice. Want to go get some coffee, and talk some more?" There's a rhythm to communications, and an appropriate time for moving things along. I wonder what some of these complainers would do if they chatted up a woman in the check-out line who took matters into her own hands and and said, "It's been great talking to you. Can I get your number?" They might be too flabbergasted to respond, or might think she was being too forward. hm... maybe we should run a C-D poll.
My answer: "Sure. It's ..." Then I'd walk out wondering WTF just happened.
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Old 07-16-2013, 06:39 PM
 
Location: In the middle.
543 posts, read 532,764 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Understanding body language isn't just about romantic situations, though. You mean to say you can't tell when your boss is stressed to determine just when you're going to ask for vacation days? If you need to ask directions are you going to ask the woman with her headphones on who's scowling into her phone or the whistling guy with a smile on his face?

And you could get upset with women for not being so direct, but where do you draw the line? Does she have to tell you to kiss her? Does every sexual encounter have to be negotiated beforehand? Body language is language.
A person in that sort of authority position should conduct themselves in enough of a professional manner so that if they are too busy to address my request presently, they can tell me that they'll get too it as soon as possible.
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Old 07-16-2013, 07:31 PM
 
Location: No longer in Queens, NY
863 posts, read 1,124,436 times
Reputation: 1074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Women do want to be approached. We had a whole thread discussing where is appropriate to approach, though. There was pretty universal agreement by the women that they generally don't stop for guys accosting them in the street, but in stores, coffeeshops, at concerts, and almost anyplace else is fine.

Women do approach guys. They don't just signal interest when they're approached, some do the approaching. Much of the time it doesn't get them anything, though, just like when guys approach women. YMMV.
I'll say that, for me, women come across as unapproachable 98% of the time in all of the places mentioned in bold. Much of the time, women are usually looking down at their phones, listening to music on their headphones, or occupied in some other way. The ones who aren't occupied are usually wearing sunglasses and have a "nobody bother me" look on their faces anyway. Also, I've been told (and have seen it on this forum) many times that women don't want to be bothered at clubs...many just want to have fun and hang out with their friends. As a person who rarely gets approached, it's really difficult to tell when it's a good time to approach.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are very basic components of human interaction and communication. People who can't read those cues are at a tremendous disadvantage in their every day dealing with people, whether it's in a work context, social or familial.

Furthermore, timing is important to effective communication. When someone strikes up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, male or female, it would be inappropriate and "creepy" for the person being approached to suddenly pipe up and say, "ooh, you're nice. Want to go get some coffee, and talk some more?" There's a rhythm to communications, and an appropriate time for moving things along. I wonder what some of these complainers would do if they chatted up a woman in the check-out line who took matters into her own hands and and said, "It's been great talking to you. Can I get your number?" They might be too flabbergasted to respond, or might think she was being too forward. hm... maybe we should run a C-D poll.
I would give her my number. Easy as that.
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Old 07-16-2013, 08:25 PM
 
135 posts, read 188,676 times
Reputation: 430
go to as many house parties as you can and connect with as many people as you can
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:50 PM
 
457 posts, read 602,120 times
Reputation: 319
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
***** faced women often do want to be approached, but by only men who are assertive, aggressive and persistent enough to see through their act and their fake unapproachibility. Its a simple filter
Actually what you mean is they want the attractive men (who also tend to be the more assertive men as a result) to approach, but they want the meek (but often nice), hesistant guys to be afraid.
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:58 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,960,688 times
Reputation: 6848
Quote:
I'll say that, for me, women come across as unapproachable 98% of the time in all of the places mentioned in bold. Much of the time, women are usually looking down at their phones, listening to music on their headphones, or occupied in some other way. The ones who aren't occupied are usually wearing sunglasses and have a "nobody bother me" look on their faces anyway. Also, I've been told (and have seen it on this forum) many times that women don't want to be bothered at clubs...many just want to have fun and hang out with their friends.
Yes, almost all women, almost all of the time, do not want to be 'approached' sexually by strangers.

Women date guys they know, guys they have met socially multiple times before any flirting / asking out.
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Old 07-17-2013, 12:18 AM
 
Location: In the middle.
543 posts, read 532,764 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Yes, almost all women, almost all of the time, do not want to be 'approached' sexually by strangers.

Women date guys they know, guys they have met socially multiple times before any flirting / asking out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Women do want to be approached. We had a whole thread discussing where is appropriate to approach, though. There was pretty universal agreement by the women that they generally don't stop for guys accosting them in the street, but in stores, coffeeshops, at concerts, and almost anyplace else is fine.
The first assumes only men that women know are okay. The second presumes it doesn't matter.
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