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I have considered going online to some of the more trusted sites in hopes of looking for people to meet up with. Casual dating, generally hanging out, things of the sort which will hopefully lead to a potential relationship or at lest a few fun nights. I was wondering if any of you have dated someone you met online.
How did it work out for you? Did you use your real name? What was the experience like ?
I met my hunny online. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. But it wasn't easy, it took time and a lot of weeding.
I used my middle name. I never sent or used photos that showed my face, ever. I used a burner phone. I always met them in a public place. Even on the trusted sites, you have to be careful.
Personally I'm baffled by why people would be more scared or skeptical of online dating, than of the bar/club scene. Online, one gets to evaluate a person's writing skills and to review his/her basic traits. Could those be lies? Yes, but at least one gets an understanding of the person's trustworthiness. The same ritual, with more stress, would be required with a physical meeting. The only improvement is when the introduction is made by mutual friends. But we're comparing cold-approach or chance-meeting with online meeting.
By all means, get a "screen name", just as has become standard practice in forums. And be aware that photographs represent the person's best conceivable side, often indeed taken years ago. Several of the women whom I met online were indeed by character and background the persons whom they represented online, but their physical appearance was, shall we say, at most notionally conveyed by their online photographs. We had several "dates" as Platonic acquaintances.
My online experience comports with that reported by most men: lots of messages sent, few returned. I cant' speculate about the male/female online ratio, but intuitively it can't be favorable for men. Often when women did respond, it was a polite but terse dismissal, to the effect that my profile was "too intellectual" (in other words, haughty and pretentious).
I have considered going online to some of the more trusted sites in hopes of looking for people to meet up with. Casual dating, generally hanging out, things of the sort which will hopefully lead to a potential relationship or at lest a few fun nights. I was wondering if any of you have dated someone you met online.
How did it work out for you? Did you use your real name? What was the experience like ?
You don't put your name in your profile. You tell them that when you email them, and usually that is only if there is a mutual interest. You don't have to tell your last name right off the bat, though most guys I dated did. I pretty much met all of my boyfriends through either match or POF, for the 6 or 7 years that I was dating. I had great success, and recommend it to anyone that is not thin-skinned or terribly insecure. Those type of people are just not cut out for it.
You don't put your name in your profile. You tell them that when you email them, and usually that is only if there is a mutual interest. You don't have to tell your last name right off the bat, though most guys I dated did.
That^ is how I handle it, too.
I don't dare use sites that require my full/real name on my profile,
but once I've exchanged a number of msgs. onsite with someone,
I provide my first name & eventually suggest we email-which includes my surname.
Personally I'm baffled by why people would be more scared or skeptical of online dating, than of the bar/club scene. Online, one gets to evaluate a person's writing skills and to review his/her basic traits. Could those be lies? Yes, but at least one gets an understanding of the person's trustworthiness. The same ritual, with more stress, would be required with a physical meeting. The only improvement is when the introduction is made by mutual friends. But we're comparing cold-approach or chance-meeting with online meeting.
Fair point^
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant
Often when women did respond, it was a polite but terse dismissal, to the effect that my profile was "too intellectual" (in other words, haughty and pretentious).
Good luck!
I've been told (by a person I know offline & whose opinion I respect) that I'm too intellectual,
and to make my profile more generic & vague (which goes against my personality & instincts)
so as to make me seem more approachable/"relate-able'.
So I feel your aggravation at that.
If you are concerned, get a google voice account that forwards to your phone, meet in a public place like a coffee shop, and use your own transportation (don't have them pick you up in their car).
Otherwise, yeah, it's safer than meeting a stranger in a bar or wherever. You know more about the online person.
Fair point^
I've been told (by a person I know offline & whose opinion I respect) that I'm too intellectual,
and to make my profile more generic & vague (which goes against my personality & instincts)
so as to make me seem more approachable/"relate-able'.
So I feel your aggravation at that.
Don't do that if you want an intellectual equal. Maybe you want to filter out the less-smart folks?
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