What percentage of people do you "really click" with (great personal chemistry)? (boyfriend, married)

[goodtype]

I was talking to a woman the other day and the topic of friendship came up. She is getting married soon and was talking about the huge reception she is planning. She is inviting about 200 of her closest most personal friends and feels bad that she can not invite some of her other friends.

Now this woman is quite a personality and seems to have the ability to attract others due to her outgoing manner and attractive look. Though I wonder if anyone can actually have over 200 close personal friends. I meet many people in the process of living and I have little if any chemistry with most of them. I do not hate them but feel like my interaction with them is kind of boring and am happy when my business with them is over. I maybe would have enough chemistry with someone to become friends with maybe 1 out of 100 people I meet.

Though the woman I am talking to tells me she has good chemistry with almost everyone and communicates with hundreds of people in a friendly way every month. She is constantly on the phone and attending social events all the time.

Can you relate to her situation? Is it really possible to make so many friends and have such a connection with so many of the people we meet?

[Mrs. H]

I do think it's possible. I too have a lot of friends (though some had to be cut out for my wedding) and people whom I've connected with. I am naturally gregarious and love just talking with anyone. I've been this way for a long time.

Can you not see how people can be like this? Are you the type of person who just has a handful of good friends and the rest are acquaintances? There are many people like that. One of my best friends is happy with a few friends and that's about it. But to each their own on that one.

[lilypad]

No, I do not relate to that type of personality. I am very discriminate and careful who I let into my life. I have half dozen very close friends, whom I have known most of my life. There are a number of social, peripheral acquaintances, but don't invite them over, not a party person, not a bar person, not a church person! So can be isolating, as most of my friends live in other places. So have joined some organizations and went back to school, so will see what happens.

[miu]

Well even though I am very discriminate with the people I meet, I have had several interesting jobs where I met a lot of great people. However, it takes a lot of energy to maintain a good friendship. So yes, I could have 200 great friends if I wanted to, but frankly I don't want to spend the time with the upkeep. So my core group of close friends is more like five. I prefer staying at home with my boyfriend and dogs these days. I guess I am lazy.

<---- Not a dedicated social butterfly.

[kaykay]

I like a lot of people. Unless someone is really kinda snarky, I will probably like them and get along with them and enjoy them at some level. However, for a "close, personal friendship" I would probably put the percentage of people I feel a connection with to be about 5%.

[Granny Sue]

This reminds me of when hubby and I got married, we looked at each other and wondered if we were going to have anybody at our wedding.
So we started making a list and realized just how many friends we really had.
We ended up sending out 150 invitations not including family members and ended up having standing room only at the wedding.
It was great!! I'd hate to have to do that today 20 yrs later...we have a lot more friends!

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by goodtype

I was talking to a woman the other day and the topic of friendship came up. She is getting married soon and was talking about the huge reception she is planning. She is inviting about 200 of her closest most personal friends and feels bad that she can not invite some of her other friends.

Now this woman is quite a personality and seems to have the ability to attract others due to her outgoing manner and attractive look. Though I wonder if anyone can actually have over 200 close personal friends. I meet many people in the process of living and I have little if any chemistry with most of them. I do not hate them but feel like my interaction with them is kind of boring and am happy when my business with them is over. I maybe would have enough chemistry with someone to become friends with maybe 1 out of 100 people I meet.

Though the woman I am talking to tells me she has good chemistry with almost everyone and communicates with hundreds of people in a friendly way every month. She is constantly on the phone and attending social events all the time.

Can you relate to her situation? Is it really possible to make so many friends and have such a connection with so many of the people we meet?

some attract some dont. attracting a lot of people to me is not good.
i like for the most part to go unnoticed. i dont like center stage.
do you? if you do and wana be more "popular" what is the motive.
there is no substitute for you loving you.
(your true colors and good qualities) i dont have many movie star qualities
i do ok. people are maybe impressed, respect, maybe envy, that that does not mean they like me.
dwight yokum song (you dont like me)
you don't know me but you don't like me but you've never walked the streets of bakerville.

[gentlearts]

I think she is confusing friends with acquaintances. A friend is someone you can call in the middle of the night to come bail you out of jail, or come get you when your car is broken down in a raging snowstorm, or take care of you when you're sick. An acquaintance will be glad to come to your wedding and eat the free food and booze, but won't be there when the chips are down.

[goldenmom7500]

That is a very interesting question! I've found a few books that describe how we have different kinds of friends - like some friendships relate to an activity (tennis, golf, bowling); others might exist at some deeper personal level. [The book I was browsing had about 8 categories, so obviously I can't remember all of the categories].

Sometimes we can be part of a community that brings everyone to a closer circle in our lives, whether or not they might be otherwise. Obviously a religious community is one example. If you have a personal crisis, like a death in the family, then your church or neighborhood or workplace might automatically band together to support you because you are part of this 'community'.

As far as the question in your "Title" - that is really interesting. It seems to be so rare lately that I can actually detect that "clicking" sound when I meet someone. It seems to happen about once a year, unless for some reason I move or start a new job and find myself around a lot of new people all at once, and then it's maybe 3 times a year. If I'm lucky. I do wonder if there is a place out there (a city, a neighborhood, etc.) where I would suddenly say "I'm home" and I would click with the majority of the people.

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by goodtype

I was talking to a woman the other day and the topic of friendship came up. She is getting married soon and was talking about the huge reception she is planning. She is inviting about 200 of her closest most personal friends and feels bad that she can not invite some of her other friends.

Now this woman is quite a personality and seems to have the ability to attract others due to her outgoing manner and attractive look. Though I wonder if anyone can actually have over 200 close personal friends. I meet many people in the process of living and I have little if any chemistry with most of them. I do not hate them but feel like my interaction with them is kind of boring and am happy when my business with them is over. I maybe would have enough chemistry with someone to become friends with maybe 1 out of 100 people I meet.

Though the woman I am talking to tells me she has good chemistry with almost everyone and communicates with hundreds of people in a friendly way every month. She is constantly on the phone and attending social events all the time.

Can you relate to her situation? Is it really possible to make so many friends and have such a connection with so many of the people we meet?

Some people just like to have a constant buzz around them. Some people absolutely cannot tolerate to be alone. It would kill them. Too many demons.

greenie