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Ex GF breaks up with me and comes back. I discover shes had 3 sexual partners including a 3-some..?
So my gf(27 years old) of 3.5 years had been pressuring me to propose to her for about 6 months. I delayed the whole process. Although I knew we were very compatible, in love and our relationship had been amazing. We had a strong bond with similar interests, dreams, goals, etc. We also allowed each other space and trusted each other. The pressure of engagement begin to take the enjoyment/pleasure out of the relationship. My gf kept focusing on the type of ring she wanted and gave little feedback when I attempted more serious convos of our lives together including where we'd live, career, finance, etc. And I was displeased that she was still working as cocktail server instead of a professional career in her field of business communications. I work myself as a medical clinic manager.
Anyhow, end of January this year, GF calls me after a frustrating night at work. She is venting about her night then moves on to "we've been together 3+ years and there's no commitment.." She eventually breaks up with me over the phone in what sounded like frustration from her night and frustration with the lack of "commitment", an engagement ring.
The conversation ends and I do not react right away. I let the night pass without contacting her. Then I let the next few days pass without talking to her and just responding briefly to her texts regarding her disappointment. I begin to analyze the situation and second guess marrying her under these conditions. There were times in our relationship where I really thought she was the one. Days after the break up call, I made a match.com account and begin talking to one girl. I know this was dumb. I should have been focusing on what was my gf but I was so sick of the months of pressure. I kind of felt relief that she "dumped me" while knowing that if I wanted, I could get her back. So two weeks pass and I finally begin to miss her and decide I do not want to lose her and that I will propose to her in the near future(months). I call her and ask for a chance, we meet at a restaurant and we end up fighting and she then tells me that she is going her own way and, I remember these words verbatim, "give up all hope that we will be back together again".
I am hurt but I do not try to pry back into the relationship. Instead I stupidly pursue the girl I'm talking to on match.com. Me and Match girl start dating and our relationship develops. I know 100% rebound for me. Now a total of 6 weeks pass and my ex text me on my Birthday, march 11th. We start chatting then she professes thatshe misses me! I still missed her so I go and see her. We end up having sex and I stay at her house. We decided to try and repair/rebuild our relationship. I was ready to dump my new fling from match.
So my ex(now gf again) stays at my house and we have sex and when she goes to bed, I snoop through her phone. I disgustingly discover that she had a fling with a guy that was here(in LA) on vaca tion. AND on another night, she went home with two bar patrons at her restaurant and had a 3-some with them! I read explicit texts of the sexual encounter. It happened 3 days before she contacted me on my birthday. What really bothered me is she continued dialogue with the men after the encounter when they text her vulgar questions/statements like Moderator cut: not PG13 omg. seriously..
Yeah, I'm still disgusted thinking of it.. So I asked my gf in the morning how she spent her time during the break up. She responded that she kept to herself and "stayed modest" Bull ****ing ****..So I confronted her and she admitted of the encounters...
I made her go home that day and she continued to push the relationship to work. Professing her love for me. Almost begging while being apologetic. True, we were not together at the time but the fact is that I tried to get back together with her before these encounters. Also the thought of marrying a woman that so degraded herself was a factor in my mind. Anyhow, I allowed her to try to "prove" herself to me. She was back at my house; cooking, cleaning, being affectionate, etc. And she even took me on a belated birthday trip to Palm Springs; paying for everything. Unfortunately, I never forgave her and I continued to see the girl I met on Match.com. We fought often during our period of "rebuilding" and on one occasion I lashed out and called her a ***** and went on detailing the texts I read. Eventually, gf breaks up with me a final time. She never found out about the other girl I was seeing but my time, love, attention and affection was being split with two women. smh. I am hurt now and confused as to where this all went wrong and when I could have done something different to make this work. Or were the errors mostly on her part? Because as I mentioned we both agreed we were deeply in love and compatible. Feed back please.
Last edited by Keeper; 07-11-2013 at 05:45 AM..
Reason: Do not bypass language filter and keep it PG13
What kind of feedback are you looking for? You are both immature and don't know how to handle conflict.
And after 3 1/2yrs and no commitment? That should say something right there. What were you waiting for? Move on. You don't want to marry her and she'd be a fool to keep chasing you.
I think both of you are the issue. No real dialogue going on. You didn't call her back afterwards and instead went on rebound and so did she. Both of you put dents in your relationship.
OP, you're getting all this worked up over a cocktail waitress who prefers that work over the business communications field she's qualified for? Does the fact that she prefers cocktail waitressing not tell you something?
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