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I engage men all the time (meaning I flirt, talk to them, break the ice). Most are really friendly and nice, but very few ever ask me out (I stop short of asking them out if I've broken the ice).
Do you ever think though that they might really in truth want to ask you out, but they were afraid you were just being friendly with them, and thus that your answer was almost certainly or very likely going to be a "No"?
As a guy, my default assumption if a girl is being really friendly and nice (unless she she specifically indicates otherwise, in a more concrete manner), is to assume that she really is just being friendly, and not actually romantic in nature. This is because thinking using the other approach got me burned one too many times: previously, I would interpret a super-friendly girl's niceness as having the potential for romance as well, only except when I actually tried to romance her, I would get shot down big-time, leading to pure humiliation and embarrassment for me...
I don't think I've ever had trouble getting a guy to commit to me. Actually, I know that's never been an issue.
This is precious. Either you're a knockout ten (doubt it), lying, or you've truly rationalized away the guys you wanted that you knew wouldn't commit. "Oh, I just used him for sex," or "I just wanted a fling."
Either that, or you're just picking sex starved losers lonely for female commitment. If you're dating upper echelon guys, you've probably been burned, even the hottest chicks get used and dropped. The problem is they convince themselves with logical fallacies that it was their choice!
Do you ever think though that they might really in truth want to ask you out, but they were afraid you were just being friendly with them, and thus that your answer was almost certainly or very likely going to be a "No"?
As a guy, my default assumption if a girl is being really friendly and nice (unless she she specifically indicates otherwise, in a more concrete manner), is to assume that she really is just being friendly, and not actually romantic in nature. This is because thinking using the other approach got me burned one too many times: previously, I would interpret a super-friendly girl's niceness as having the potential for romance as well, only except when I actually tried to romance her, I would get shot down big-time, leading to pure humiliation and embarrassment for me...
I've thought that. But if I take the initiative to talk to them and break the ice I am pretty certain it would come across as too pushy to take the next step and ask them out. It's like a tennis match--he's got to volley what I've thrown him back at me. He's got to meet me halfway. If not, it would make me wonder if he was even interested in me at all or just didn't want to hurt a woman's feelings (some men are like that--they rather be torn up by rabid hyenas than hurt a woman).
And you know, if a friendly girl... I mean a truly friendly one... engages you in conversation and you ask her out she won't reject you in a way that makes you feel humiliated or embarrassed. If she does embarrass you, she's not a nice woman and you dodged a bullet. Don't get me wrong, she might turn you down because she's taken or not interested, but she should be kind about it. Anything else and trust me, you are better off because why would a good man want to date a woman that doesn't care about his feelings or other people's feelings? So don't sweat it. Think of it as a way to screen the good women from the mean ones.
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