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Old 07-13-2013, 05:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogluvr2013 View Post
With all those wives, I am assuming they will have children, so all those kids are expensive. Less kids if there is one woman. I guess if no one has kids, it doesn't matter much.
I have not heard of any family deciding how many kids to have based on how many women were in the family . Families I know, they each consider themselves parents to the kids, and whose body they came out of is not a big deal. They have legal contracts to cover visitation and child support in case they break up, guardianship in case someone dies, etc.
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Old 07-13-2013, 05:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I have not heard of any family deciding how many kids to have based on how many women were in the family . Families I know, they each consider themselves parents to the kids, and whose body they came out of is not a big deal. They have legal contracts to cover visitation and child support in case they break up, guardianship in case someone dies, etc.

One observation I think I can make about polyamorous people that I know and have known is that they don't have the same gender "role" assumptions that you see a lot on CD. They tend to be able to view people as individuals, as what they are themselves. You don't see a lot of woman = mom = home. You never hear ANYTHING about women or men having special characteristics as it relates to money, work, child care in the poly forums. They don't tend to try to stuff poly into a mono mold.
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Old 07-13-2013, 05:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
One observation I think I can make about polyamorous people that I know and have known is that they don't have the same gender "role" assumptions that you see a lot on CD. They tend to be able to view people as individuals, as what they are themselves. You don't see a lot of woman = mom = home. You never hear ANYTHING about women or men having special characteristics as it relates to money, work, child care in the poly forums. They don't tend to try to stuff poly into a mono mold.
Well, it's a more liberal population. The monogamous people I know IRL are the same way.

I literally had no idea that there was anyone in the developed world, aside from a few tiny cults, who still believed in traditional gender roles as something innate to humans -- until my late 30s, when I started hanging out online. I thought all that had died out before I was born.
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Old 07-13-2013, 06:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Well, it's a more liberal population. The monogamous people I know IRL are the same way.

I literally had no idea that there was anyone in the developed world, aside from a few tiny cults, who still believed in traditional gender roles as something innate to humans -- until my late 30s, when I started hanging out online. I thought all that had died out before I was born.
I grew up with it then out of it. So it was always there for me. I saw the struggle my Mom had with her suburban contemporaries.
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Old 07-13-2013, 06:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogluvr2013 View Post
It should be legal. It does sound expensive for a man with multiple wives. Seems a bit better with a woman and multiple husbands.
Because you think that a guy will need to pay and woman wouldn't. If a guy pays multiple women - he generally pays to retain such setting. If guys aren't paid to do that, they're doing it because of their own benefit. I can see waiters involved in it with another 6 guys, each having sex once per week sounds great for them - plus whatever they get "on the side" with other women they meet.

There has been a known issue with polygamous folks living together that many repeatedly push to bring NEW folks into the equation. And due to fact that others don't want to allow that, they happen to do it on the side. Happens frequently with "second and Xth choice" guys.

Last edited by nald; 07-13-2013 at 06:27 PM..
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Old 07-13-2013, 06:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nald View Post
Because you think that a guy will need to pay and woman wouldn't. If a guy pays multiple women - he generally pays to retain such setting. If guys aren't paid to do that, they're doing it because of their own benefit. I can see waiters involved in it with another 6 guys, each having sex once per week sounds great for them - plus whatever they get "on the side" with other women they meet.
I am confused what we are paying for. Are we talking about love or prostitution?
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Old 07-13-2013, 06:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I am confused what we are paying for. Are we talking about love or prostitution?
With nald, one never knows. I don't think he knows.
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Old 07-15-2013, 07:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
With nald, one never knows. I don't think he knows.
Well, read the quote again. One man with multiple women would be expensive for that man. Said by other poster.
This implies... what? That the guy will be paying for all other women to retain such setting or to maintain his multiple families if he plans to keep it on the long run. So he needs money to maintain permanent relationship in such manner. And it supposedly implies that the guy will be willing to have a desired number of children that complies with each of his woman's wish. If he has five women and each woman wants two children, it implies that he's supposed to have 10 children with them and accept it. This is the supposed argument for excessive costs, because it disregards that the guy might not be willing to have so many children in first place.


But it apparently goes that, in a reverse scenario, a woman will "have" two kids and five different men will be willing to take care of them. Making it cost-effective. Because.... multiple men will be willing to pay and raise a child that might not be their own, and they'd be willing to stay if there is no biological child of their own, instead of each of them demanding the same woman to have 10 children, 2 with each of them.

This requires a serious brain damage to be even spewed that it's going to be either more functional, stable, plausible, etc. Guys will be into sex, not into raising children that might not be their own.

Last edited by nald; 07-15-2013 at 07:50 AM.. Reason: edit..
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Old 07-15-2013, 10:43 AM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,970,298 times
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This world where all men work and no women work, and all women want two kids even if their family already has 8, exists solely in your imagination, nald . Those issues have already been addressed in this thread.
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Old 07-15-2013, 11:06 AM
 
Location: USA
30,624 posts, read 21,792,985 times
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It seems there are many versions of poly relationships and marriage. I am only familiar with one. I knew a girl whose Muslim mother was one of several wives to one man back in the 70s. Her stories sounded like those of the Branch Davidians and Warren Jeffs. It was really about power and control by the man disguised by religian. I'm sure there are many Poly relationships that are not based on Inequality, but I bet it's a minority.

Last edited by LS Jaun; 07-15-2013 at 11:49 AM..
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