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I find that the most alien concept about polygamy. The women I know think it isa big deal and can be very protective, defensive and downright aggressive when it comes to their biological children. I would have to love someone deeply to consider someone a parent to my children. The only polygamy I know anything about seem as though the love is between the husband and each wife. The wives seem to accept each other but there is no real love among the wives.
Polyamorous families vary. For example, I know one group of 2 men, 2 women, where everyone is heterosexual. The men are close friends, and the women are close friends. Only one of the women is interested in bearing children.
Another family I know, the two women were lovers first, and the man was lovers with just one of the women. After a couple years (I think) the man and the other woman got together, and they decided to form a family. Only one of those women chose to bear children, too. They have legal documents re: child support, visitation, inheritance, etc.
I can't think of any group I know where multiple women want to bear children, but it definitely happens.
I also don't know of any poly families with more than 2 people of the same gender. It's not like nald was saying, one man and 8 women or whatever. A maximum of 2 women does not mean that many kids, no matter how pro-natal they are . And it seems like, more commonly, people max out at 2 kids per family group.
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So how do these contracts work legally? Can theother “mothers” be made to pay CS, do each get visitation rights. Family court is pretty f’ ed up and I have seen disputes and problems back and forth for years with cs and custody with just two adults involved.
I have no idea what would happen if poly people didn't do their own legal paperwork and left everything up to the courts. It would be a mess, I think.
I know a lawyer who is poly and is very knowledgeable about poly legal decisions in various states and stuff. If you or anyone is that deeply interested, pm me your email address. and I will put you in touch.
Polyamorous families vary. For example, I know one group of 2 men, 2 women, where everyone is heterosexual. The men are close friends, and the women are close friends. Only one of the women is interested in bearing children.
Another family I know, the two women were lovers first, and the man was lovers with just one of the women. After a couple years (I think) the man and the other woman got together, and they decided to form a family. Only one of those women chose to bear children, too. They have legal documents re: child support, visitation, inheritance, etc.
I can't think of any group I know where multiple women want to bear children, but it definitely happens.
I also don't know of any poly families with more than 2 people of the same gender. It's not like nald was saying, one man and 8 women or whatever. A maximum of 2 women does not mean that many kids, no matter how pro-natal they are . And it seems like, more commonly, people max out at 2 kids per family group.
I have no idea what would happen if poly people didn't do their own legal paperwork and left everything up to the courts. It would be a mess, I think.
I know a lawyer who is poly and is very knowledgeable about poly legal decisions in various states and stuff. If you or anyone is that deeply interested, pm me your email address. and I will put you in touch.
I think many people like myself think of the LDS when we think of polyamorous families or polygamy or whatever name is put on it because that is what we are most familiar with.
I would think given the legal system even with doing the legal paperwork things wouldn't be any less a mess than breaking a marital contract. I was just curious, not deeply interested. I don't have a desire for a monogamous relationship much less a polyamorous one. Thanks tho.
I also don't know of any poly families with more than 2 people of the same gender. It's not like nald was saying, one man and 8 women or whatever. A maximum of 2 women does not mean that many kids, no matter how pro-natal they are . And it seems like, more commonly, people max out at 2 kids per family group.
I think many people like myself think of the LDS when we think of polyamorous families or polygamy or whatever name is put on it because that is what we are most familiar with.
I think that familiarity is one of the very reasons that the modern breed cares about the language. Polygamy is the term that follows the mormons. And a lot of polyamorous people do not want to be associated with that mental image.
I think that familiarity is one of the very reasons that the modern breed cares about the language. Polygamy is the term that follows the mormons. And a lot of polyamorous people do not want to be associated with that mental image.
I can understand that. What has been described, polyamorous people, are not even close to the LDS. I think we use to just call them hippies.
I can understand that. What has been described, polyamorous people, are not even close to the LDS. I think we use to just call them hippies.
"are not even close to the LDS"
My experience with the Muslim sect that engaged in Polygamy seems to parallel the FLDS to a tee. There were no legal contracts between the various wives and and the children. The last place these people wanted visability was within the US legal system.
"I think we use to just call them hippies"
I'm sure the polyamorous life styles are so many that it would be difficult to stereotype them all. Ive known of a few Hippy types that had the open love thing going on. More common is a couple I know that invites an occasional woman into bed with them. Not really polyamorous, but its the closest thay I have been privy too outside of the religous groups.
I gotta figure myself out before I drag anyone else down the wrong path...
I guess you didn't read the fine print at the bottom of the OP.
no I didn't, however, why would you ask the question, just for fun?
Or are you seriously thinking about it....
you don't have to answer, but my answer still stands...
So, how DO people in these kinds of relationships deal with jealousy? Do they just not feel jealous? (that is my suspicion)
That is a topic for an entire board on one of the poly boards. Yes we feel it. But we don't seek to avoid it in the same way you see here. We have handled it by thinking and talking. Our first premise is that love is not finite. That to love that one in no way lessens love for me. So when the feelings of jealousy arise, we admit it openly. This allows the others to reassure the one with the tender feelings until the feelings abate. Over time, the feelings do go away.
That is a topic for an entire board on one of the poly boards. Yes we feel it. But we don't seek to avoid it in the same way you see here. We have handled it by thinking and talking. Our first premise is that love is not finite. That to love that one in no way lessens love for me. So when the feelings of jealousy arise, we admit it openly. This allows the others to reassure the one with the tender feelings until the feelings abate. Over time, the feelings do go away.
Interesting
A Poly life isn't in my future but it must be quite liberating not having to deal with jealousy. Some people act as if jealousy is a sign of caring when it's acually driven by insecurity and primative instincts.
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. And it seems like, more commonly, people max out at 2 kids per family group.
