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Good morning my sunshines! I was making my coffee and I thought of my mother. She and my dad were big coffee drinkers. I thought of yesterday being my birthday and the fact that now, I am 34.
I thought, geez, Mom was 38 when I was born. Here I am , 34, doing all of this. She had kids before me. My sister, yesterday morning, my defender.
My 2 brothers. I have 2 other siblings as well, from my dads previous marriage, one now is deceased. A big family we had, but I was the baby, and other than my one brother, they were all grown up, for the most part.
The next brother ahead of me, was 6 years older than me. Billy. When I am crying and I think nothing can get better, he is a phone call away, usually at his daughters soccer game, he reminds me a bit of Shuke.
No details, if you know Shuke, you know what I am talking about. If this is to be in the open one day, well, we know what that means...LOL.
I think my coffee maker just made that noise like I am done..YAY! Come and get the coffee!
We had a good time last night. I mean we just went out to eat after work and I let the kids pick. A picked, and L was very agreeable. All of our fortunes were right on the spot. Funny. Most of the time we get something Homer Simpson may have written.
A got something that said to the likes of... This is the best choice I could have ever made.
now I know, anymore fortunes, they are not like fortunes. he said, Mommy, this is my motto. It had more verbage to it, but hey, do you see me with a Tink cup yet? I am still telling the kids they need to get up like its a school day or something! LOL
I got Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow and I also had chinese for lunch and I got It could be better but its good enough.
I wish i had As infront of me, it was so 'him'
Dag! I just ran all the way up the stairs and back down again and didn't get my coffee, my morning exercise, I guess.. What in the world?!?!
L has come down and given me her I am up speech, and her morning hug.
Last night, really we didn't do anything. The kids got their stuff together for the weekend, and we watched tv together, but it felt so good, because I don't get to do that with them.
A says, who gets to lay all over the bday girl, naming three fictiscious people, all him, and he plops on me, curling up like he is just a little boy..... my little boy.
He has been playing basketball at school lately, normally shys away from other kids, sports, other people in general. My children are thriving. My children are doing so well. I asked if the dr helped L the other day, and she said she made her cry, I told her thats ok, I cried too.
Yesterday morning when I was crying, and I tried to hold it back, I didn't let the a$$ hear me, I just hung up on him, but I went out on the porch, very upset, but came back inside, and A ran to me, and said Mommy, its gonna be ok, and everyone has to cry sometime. They just do.
Can someone tell me where these kids came from?
I already know, the Lord blessed me with them. He gave me the most wonderful blessing in the world.
At nineteen I was so afraid of being pregnant with A, I was afraid I would disappoint my father, so I didn't tell him, but my brother told him at my 6th mo, I wasn't even showing.
One day my Dad came to me and asked me what are you going to name your baby? I was shocked, embarrassed, I felt I had let him down, so a smart remark came out, and the name was stated as... Bartholemew.
A couple months later he was born, and my dad was sick. I cried to my father on the phone, Daddy, they wont let me bring him home, I have to leave, and he has to stay. J didn't care, he just came and picked me up, wondering why i was back up at the hospital so much... Same w L, but her stay was much longer.
Yes, I was blessed with these children. He was too, and one day, he will come to know it. Right now they are objects that he knows he has a right to and he wants to control that issue, but I hope and pray that one day, and hopefully a day soon, he will see that we are blessed to have these two wonderful children, and he will stop hurting them.
He thinks he is hurting me, and he is, by hurting them, but the damage he puts upon them, he just doesn't know, and its not like they will tell them, because just like when we would have to be perfect to be around his famly, so do they to bearound he and his family.
Coffee awaits, and soon I will have to take them to him.
So, I am visiting with my old next door neighbor, who lives next to shackles, its a good visit
I meet him 5 minutes late, him, not very happy, the kids worried of an arguement.
L hugged him and the first thing that came out of her mouth was Daddy, Mommys family is getting together next weekend and we really wanna go, can we go Daddy?
Get in the car! Looking at me angrily, KI will see you tomorrow, and off they went.
Ugh.
I will get ready now and meet another friend of mine and who knows what we will do, bought some jeans for the kids earlier this morning.
Do NOT engage him in discussion about your family next week. If he brings it up, do the click.
Proceed like things are normal- and on Friday when you're picking up the kids you call him and tell him you're on your way to visit the family. Then CLICK again.
Hey, Robyn! I agree with pg. You don't need to answer questions about your life. DAIBAlphaButt has every right to know where his kids are, but he doesn't need details which he can and will use to give you permission or tell you what you can not do.
There's no way you can keep the kids from telling him things such as L. did. Perhaps it would be easier if the kids didn't have info about things/plans too far in advance. It would protect both the kids and you as well.
You sounded really healthy and strong in your post this morning. Yeaahhhhhhhh!!!!
Hope you are having fun this weekend!
Good morning everyone! I slept in, the couch had drawn me in with its magic last night, the magic of falling in and out of sleep, I'll get up in a minute, the minutes turing into hours, and I went and got inot bed at 2.
When I visited with my friend yesterday from my old next door, she told me that ib had told her I was claiming physical abuse to authorities and that i was getting assistance from whomever.
Just 2 weeks ago, he told me that her mother told her next door neighbor the same thing, and his husband, who is ibs friend, told him, and that his lawyer checked it out and it wasn't true.
Whatever! It was a good visit anyway. After that I went and got gas and I picked up my friend T from work at her house and we went to the mall. I had already been once early after dropping the kids off, and gotten them a couple pairs of jeans, not for Christmas, but for now. They are getting so tall, and outgrowing everything.
So we went back and I got a few more pairs, I think I will give them each 2 pairs now and a pair for Christmas, and I got them each a hoodie. Both a dvd.
Ls favorite movies are the Shrek movies and he took them and has them in storage. They have the trilogy at Target for 40 bucks, but there is just no way I can do that right now. Seperatly 10, 10 and 21.99.
I talked to my brother on the phone yesterday, he also would like to talk to ib, as well as my sister, I know things will be better, with time, and I know they will be worse. LOL.
I think today is the day I will treat myself to a starbucks, haven't had one in several months. Whatcha think? Thats what i thought, yep, I will get a Starbucks, Mocha Grande.
The Grande is really not big enough. LOL! I am just rambling here. We went into the Disney store, they were having such a huge sale. And yes, I was staring at all the Tinkerbell stuff like I was 8 years old. I just had to move along.
I said out loud to my friend, I wanna be Tinkerbell when I grow up, thought about it, said, its to late, I grew up yesterday. LOL
Thats about it I guess, for now. I was gone all day yesterday and got nothing done. We are supposed to have a work Christmas party today but I am not going, it will interfere with the picking up of the kids, and I don't really feel like going anyway.
I need to wash a million and one clothes, I think they reproduce and have sex or something when I am not looking! WTH?!
Morning all - Robyn - sounds like you had a very nice b'day and a great day yesterday! Good for you!
Alphabutt boy is doing something that is very typical - he's distorting things to family, friends and neighbors and his lawyer - don't worry, the truth will come out in court or mediation, wherever you end up. He's attempting to get lots of sympathy for himself, which is also typical of him. Next thing you know, he'll be blaming you leaving him on a severe case of PMS
I'm with the others on the trip to see your family - I like pirate girl's way of doing it - simple, to the point, end of discussion. I hope you do go to see your family - he had the kids this weekend, next should be your turn, no matter what he "feels".
From what you have written, he still just doesn't get it and probably won't. He does not see what he's done as emotional/psychological abuse - he sees it as "good parenting", I suspect from the way he was parented. Heck he probably doesn't even realize there IS such a thing as emotional/ psychological abuse.
Hope you enjoy your Mocha Grande - it's good to "splurge" on yourself once in awhile....and yes, dirty laundry does indeed procreate while sitting there...too bad they don't make laundry condoms or birth control pills to toss in the hamper with them
I met him to pick up the kids and this time he was driving his truck, following him was my brother in law. In the back of his truck were our washer and dryer andin the back of bils truck the fridge and stove.
The kids hugged me, and got their stuff together, L was upset. He looked at me and said for me to bring the holiday schedule to mediation, I said hello to bil, and he just threw up his hand at me. I told him I planned to.
The kids were uncomfortable this weekend with their sleeping arrangements, got lack of sleep and both still have homework. he told them he would see them next weekensd, I did not say a word.
L mentioned her aunt having something fun planned for them next weekend. A said ib said its sick that my family wont come down here to see us. Plans are still being made as to where we will meet and what we will do, got off the phone w my sister a bit ago.
Now the kids need to finish up that homework.
A pair of the jeans I got A are too small, have to take them back. The child is in a 34x34! Geez! Tall man
I wish a way could be figured out about how to keep him from continually being cruel and upsetting you on a regular basis. It's the simple contact that needs to be limited so his meanness can be turned off.
You shouldn't have to say something mean to get him to understand that you aren't going to put up with it, but a mean comment and then a click, or clicking him off for a week or two may help him to get the message.
Does your brother and sister want to speak to him about your visiting them with the kids?
I'm sure that will help to infuriate him even more.
Maybe you are just too nice or too easy of a target for him to be mean to and to victimize.
One would think that he would understand that you just aren't going to put up with his tactics anymore, but maybe you just need to wait until once an agreement is reached to be able to further limit his contact with you even more.
Since swearing at someone is never good, maybe an emphatic "This conversation isn't going to happen!" Click!, "No Way!" Click!, "Not going there! Click!...is something that you can practice, and make it work by sticking to it.
Down the road when the only necessary contact will be over what's contained in the written agreements, then clicking him off completely may become necessary for you're own well being.
He should be getting clicked off more already, but I know that you're still trying to be cooperative due to the joint custody issues with the kids.
But his continued abusiveness has got to be stopped somehow.
The more you click him off the better the chance that he'll understand and respect the message that you won't tolerate his petty demands and abusive style anymore.
He can only prey on those who let him. Learn to retaliate in a way that will allow only him to feel it but not you.
If he's really not worth the effort of mature adult communication, then don't give him the time of day.
Even the fact that your family feels that they need to provide some interference on your behalf shouldn't be necessary, but when he's abusive over and over again, then how else can he be stopped cold in his tracks?
Last edited by sun; 12-09-2007 at 05:48 PM..
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