Here's the thing. I know you say you're not willing to try medication and may or may not be willing to try therapy, but you have to keep in mind that if you don't change what you're doing, you can expect the same results. So you can keep going like you have been. But if you've done that for 28 years with no results, chances are low something is magically going to be different.
Social anxiety is something that can be worked on in therapy. There are techniques you can practice to help yourself interact with people in a more regular way. It's also something that can be helped by medication, not even necessarily a high dose. Those are probably the biggest and most effective things you could look into.
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This is probably not what you want to hear, but if you are cognizant of your own issues, you can handle the reality of it. Most women aren't going to have the patience to deal with your issues. Do you really want to put yourself through getting your hopes up only to have them dashed when they decide they don't want to be with a man who not only has emotional problems, but is too stubborn and lacking in intestinal fortitude to do the hard work of fixing them?
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This is key. Many people are willing to accept imperfections in a partner because, let's face it, we ALL have them. But what a prospective partner is willing to do to work on those imperfections is key. Are they actively seeking treatment to try to make themselves the best partner they can be, or do they shrug and say, "I'm just like this. Sorry."?
One great thing going for you is that you have interests that a lot of women share. I would continue going to meet-up groups and continue practicing talking to people. That's going to be key. Humans in general crave companionship.
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