Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
oh boy. Some women use the "maybe we should end this" tactic.
I learned the hard way: any time a woman suggests ending the relationship, she is trying to break up IME.
But, like I said, some women say things like that during arguments and they might not mean it.
But if you talk to some people, they will agree that suggesting to end a relationship is almost as bad as ending a relationship. It is kind of holding someone emotionally hostage, if that makes sense.
It really sounds like it was time for the relationship to be over.
As far as the bolded is concerned, EVERY time in the future for the rest of my life, if a woman I am dating 'suggests' ending a relationship, I will agree and end the relationship immediately.
IMO, you did the correct thing by ending the relationship.
Thanks for this. Anytime we had an argument she would start using the break up tactic. At the start it would involve me crawling back and apologising, even if sometimes it wasn't my fault. That was what worried me, because once you're married, you can't use that anymore.
OP - people generally become "more like themselves" as they age...in other words if she is controlling now she will become moreso as the years pass...
Now, more importantly: If you have any doubts, DON'T.
Don't marry this woman just because it's comfortable, easier than breaking up, etc. Free her up to find someone who wants to marry her...
If she was really "the one" you would have no doubts and would be feeling that you couldn't WAIT to marry her.
Exactly...! Lots of people were saying to me, she's a great girl, why haven't you married yet etc etc.
The point is, all you have is your gut to tell you why. And I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle with a feeling of doubt or dread.
Hi guys, I've done the honorable thing and ended it. I based the whole thing on my "gut feeling" that it just didn't feel right. To be honest, I feel empty inside and am remembering all the good times we had. However, I cannot continue to just be in the relationship imagining dating other girls and wanting freedom.
You made the right decision, bud. A few months of guilt and loniliness is nothing compared to a lifetime of regret.
Tell her what needs to change for you to want to marry her. Are these arguments your fault or hers? And be honest. I can be honest in saying sometimes I argue with my gf, but sometimes I can look back and realize maybe she had a reason to have an attitude. Other times, not warranted at all.
You need to tell her that these arguments need to stop for you two to get married, period. My gf and I are somewhat the same. 95% of the time amazing, but sometimes we argue (not terribly) over stupid stuff. I told her straight up the other day, if this continues, there's zero chance I'm ever having kids and arguing in front of them, so something needs to change.
Tell her when you can noticeably (and tally somehow if possible) see drastic changes, then you will propose. As of now there's no sense in proposing as things get progressively worse. IMO, breaking up an engagement is a lot worse and harder than a relationship. Like you said, the whole family knows and everyone is thinking everything is perfect, etc.
I suggested a "roadmap" if you like to her which consisted of ways to improve our relationship. There were focuses for me, her and together. But she rejected it as being too late.
You made the right decision, bud. A few months of guilt and loniliness is nothing compared to a lifetime of regret.
Well said ... OP, you WILL feel lonely and depressed for a time, but that is because you were living together and it's natural to just miss the presence of that other person ... in your home, in your bed...but that will pass. And it's not too late to find the right woman...when it is right you will know it and as, that quote above says it all...better than a "lifetime of regret"...
This thread is just the reason why women should value themselves a bit more. I'd be darned if I let a man string me along for three years with no ring on that finger. Aint nobody got time for that! Women's looks decline with age & all things being equal, the younger & more attractive you are the more chances you will land a wealthy, educated, more eligible bachelor.
Now she is 3years older & bitter. Hopefully she learned her lesson.
Obviously OP was not that into her. No one milks a cow for three years.
Ok ... here it comes .... DO NOT MARRY YOUR GIRLFRIEND. You are asking questions and making statements that indicate you are not really in love with her. If the two of you are not on the same page in every possible way, then marriage is not the answer. If you are really in love, you wouldn't have posed the question. When you meet the right person, it is effortless.
Please, for your sake and happiness, for the both of you .... move on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
