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It depends on whether you see promiscuous sex as being something that can be "retracted," like a drug addict or a felon who desperately wants a clean slate. As a man, I don't want to commit to a woman who has led that sort of lifestyle. I believe it is not only emotionally damaging, but possibly a sign of psychological issues, an indicator of future infidelity, and a possible health risk.
Classic rationalization
Rationalization of what? I think that if a man won't wait until a woman is ready to have sex with him because she wants to make sure that they are on the same page emotionally before she takes the next step - he's not worth having around. It doesn't matter if she slept with guys sooner in her past. Like I said, some people learn from their past.
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Originally Posted by le roi
i don't dispute the uniqueness of various sexual encounters.
no, my ego wouldn't be bruised. i'd view her as spiteful and/or irrational. offering herself to random dudes for years, then when it comes to the guy she ostensibly cares about, manipulating him.
well maybe i DO want her to repeat it... duh.
It's the worst of both worlds -- nobody wants to date a girl who won't sleep with them, and nobody wants to date a girl who is slutty.
Spiteful and irrational because she's learned that jumping into bed with people isn't working for her?
As for your last line - that's pathetic. I thank my lucky stars I never had any of these issues back when I was dating.
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Some people learn from their past - and often times don't want to repeat it.
Exactly! I realized that since marriage is my ultimate goal, I couldn't keep living my life that way. Just like the quote. ." If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten".
Rationalization of something because, "The type of person who does XYZ probably isn't worth it anyway."
Like, "If he dumped you, he's an idiot and wasn't worth it anyway." That kind of rationalization. Based on a fantasy of something that's easier to digest.
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I think that if a man won't wait until a woman is ready to have sex with him because she wants to make sure that they are on the same page emotionally before she takes the next step - he's not worth having around.
This part I agree with.
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It doesn't matter if she slept with guys sooner in her past.
This part I do not.
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Spiteful and irrational because she's learned that jumping into bed with people isn't working for her?
Yes, it is irrational to make life more difficult for the person you're interested in because you used to make bad decisions.
And it could be spiteful, yes, but I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt that it is just irrational.
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As for your last line - that's pathetic. I thank my lucky stars I never had any of these issues back when I was dating.
Well things have changed a bit since the telephone was invented.
Rationalization of something because, "The type of person who does XYZ probably isn't worth it anyway."
Like, "If he dumped you, he's an idiot and wasn't worth it anyway." That kind of rationalization. Based on a fantasy of something that's easier to digest.
This part I agree with.
This part I do not.
Yes, it is irrational to make life more difficult for the person you're interested in because you used to make bad decisions.
And it could be spiteful, yes, but I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt that it is just irrational.
Well things have changed a bit since the telephone was invented.
How old do you think I am??? That's funny!
You are contradicting yourself all over the place. If someone wants to wait until she is emotionally ready whereas in the past she hasn't - how is that spiteful or irrational?
As for the rationalization part - it's not a "rationalization" if it's true. If one of my friends told me that a guy she was dating wasn't going to stick around because she wasn't ready to sleep with him - I'd tell her he wasn't worth it because he wouldn't be worth it.
Exactly! I realized that since marriage is my ultimate goal, I couldn't keep living my life that way. Just like the quote. ." If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten".
Don't worry - if someone cares about you and thinks you have a future together - they'll wait. They probably won't wait indefinitely but they'll wait until you are ready.
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