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I would not wait more than 2 years beyond the one you've been together. If he's still not willing to commit, he probably never will be. 3 years is more than enough time to figure it out.
minx is right
when you are on the relationship road, there's only one turn off, and thats a break up
but you can read the yield/danger signs and jump off the road for a while,,
minx is right,,
even tho he's still young,,,if he REALLY loves you-then you can try this,,
separate for 2 months...no contact...you need your space to assess his wishes/expectations..
see if your love is strong enough to wait all the years he wants to.
you will throw him a painful curveball,,that you arent to be taken for granted,,or you arent there to live on his timeline
i'll bet you- he will go into a tailspin,,,, and realize just how much he does feel for you...
the thought of possibly losing you,,,will reassess his own timeline,,,guarantee it
Precisely....but she is 26. Some 22 yr old guys are READY to get married and some aren't. It is different then when my parents were that age and when I was that age. My girls complain that even well into their 20's and 30's these guys do not want to settle down.
We don't know enough about the OP's bf yet. Is he beginning grad school? It would make sense if he wants to wait until he finishes his education and gets established in a profession, or at least gets a job in his profession, before getting married. Is he planning to go for a PhD? That would explain his timeline, waiting until he's 28 or 29. Or is he already on the ground floor of what he hopes will be a successful career? If so, it would be reasonable to give him a couple of years while he learns the ropes and gets a promotion or two.
And how well do they really know each other? Have they gotten to the stage where they've discussed long-term goals, kids, financial goals, etc.? Or are they just enjoying the relationship and each other's company without looking ahead yet, other than the marriage question?
We don't know enough about the OP's bf yet. Is he beginning grad school? It would make sense if he wants to wait until he finishes his education and gets established in a profession, or at least gets a job in his profession, before getting married. Is he planning to go for a PhD? That would explain his timeline, waiting until he's 28 or 29. Or is he already on the ground floor of what he hopes will be a successful career? If so, it would be reasonable to give him a couple of years while he learns the ropes and gets a promotion or two.
And how well do they really know each other? Have they gotten to the stage where they've discussed long-term goals, kids, financial goals, etc.? Or are they just enjoying the relationship and each other's company without looking ahead yet, other than the marriage question?
We need more info.
What does him wanting an education have to do.with anything? People can get married and go to school. Same with work - in fact, it almost seems like married people are more successful in the professional world.
I could see if he said he wanted a couple of years, but 6 or 7 years is ridiculous.
No, it is not ridiculous: he is 22 years old. Although he seems more mature than his GF of one year, who thinks that waiting 7 years is an option.
The OP wouldn't be here discussing it if she felt waiting 7 yrs was an option for her.
OP and BF, as described, are on two very different pages. She's been in a relationship for less than 1 yr and already has wedding bells ringing in her ears. BF is young, and he will have more evolving to do as a 20-something -something we all experienced in our 20's- and he is the one wanting to wait 7 yrs.
This is the BF making it very clear to OP that HE is not ready for marriage at this point in his life. OP has 2 choices: accept, or not accept.
Pressuring BF into a marriage he is not ready for will only result in heartache later on.
At least BF is being honest.
Last edited by dragon_fly_12; 07-20-2013 at 05:41 PM..
Ruth4Truth, that is exactly what I am thinking. What if four years from now it just doesn't work out. I would have wasted so much time and it'll take me time to move and find someone else. When you're 22, time is such a luxury, but that's not quite the case when you're 26 pushing 27.
What if you got married today and 4 years from now it didnt work? Better off being not married than married if thats what you're worried about.
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