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I suggest in the future not to ask for "thoughts" if you don't really want to hear.
Your point of view is welcome. I am simply disagreeing with it and pointing out why. You implied I should speak for myself. I pointed out I am making a reasonable speculation (not assertion). Anyway, it's a silly thing to argue about.
Your point of view is welcome. I am simply disagreeing with it and pointing out why. You implied I should speak for myself. I pointed out I am making a reasonable speculation (not assertion). Anyway, it's a silly thing to argue about.
Fair enough.
But the "rolleyes" you used when quoting me was not necessary.
You are telling me the obvious. I don't need to tell you that "want" and "get" are two different words.
Wait until you get my age then you will see what I mean and possibly relate. People look at you a lot differently when you get older and dating gets MUCH harder. Frankly I do not enjoy it anymore and rarely take the time to bother with it.
Finding a spouse could in the end turn out to be ones worst nightmare.
You say you don't enjoy it any more, yet you say that finding a spouse could be your worst nightmare.
What do you think is worse, the difficulty of dating or the thought of being alone?
You say you don't enjoy it any more, yet you say that finding a spouse could be your worst nightmare.
What do you think is worse, the difficulty of dating or the thought of being alone?
I've spent most of my life living alone, including the last 6 years. It's all about your attitude. I like myself so I have no problem with it but it's not my first choice.
However, just because you are a good parent and you got good sex, doesn't mean that the other parent is good.
No, but I'm not making that assumption across the board. In fact, if that were the case, then the axiom Frihed shared would not be applicable because the conditions of symmetry are not met.
The main assertion starting this thread is that people are happiest in traditional families, consisting of husband, wife and children. Many people - probably the plurality, are indeed happiest in such an arrangement. Society extolls this and many social policies are aimed at promoting precisely such a lifestyle. I personally have seen much happiness amongst people who subscribe to this ethos, and certainly don't begrudge them their happiness.
However, as a child-free person, I am often dismayed by the prevailing belief that a family is only a family if there are children, or that a relationship is somehow incomplete and artificial unless children are involved. While I applaud pluralistic trends in family dynamics - gay marriage, and before that, inter-racial marriage - the one great and enduring taboo is child-free marriage; and the dogged endurance of that taboo bothers me.
It is true that great and propitious undertakings have an ennobling and uplifting effect, which ought to increase happiness. One such thing, one gathers, is becoming a parent. Again, I don't begrudge parents their happiness. But too often expressions of such happiness are couched in phrasing suggesting that prior to parenthood, the individual was lacking, immature, without "purpose"; after becoming a parent, this "purpose" was made clear. Further, this is a general claim, implying that humans in general find their purpose, or a significant aspect of purpose, through reproduction; and that to eschew reproduction is to circumscribe oneself, to restrict oneself from something sublime.
The main assertion starting this thread is that people are happiest in traditional families, consisting of husband, wife and children.
This is not true. My reason for sharing these thoughts is this has worked for me for reasons I explained briefly. I opened up to hear others thoughts because the main assertion here is that the idea of one being in his or her prime is relative. We often think of someone in their prime as being young and strong, and often reduce it to physical prime. I am trying to open that aspect to other and more qualitative measures as well.
This means everyone's answer may be a little different. My answer is that a "traditional marriage and family life" has made me an immensely happy guy. My little sister has been married for a little over 10 years. She and her husband have no intention of having kids. If that's what works for them, so be it.
I'm 37 and I feel like I'm in my prime, just because I'm happier than I've ever been. My 20s were a bit of a cluster****, and my early 30s were really all about things just starting to come together. I feel like I have my legs under me now.
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