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Old 07-20-2013, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Virginia
2,765 posts, read 3,620,300 times
Reputation: 2355

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Well if you love manly men that is great. women like you seem to be disappearing fast.
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:29 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
When you live in a walking city - there aren't always other people or cars around. Most of the time there are - but sometimes there aren't. My point is that you see all these things as compliments or harmless - and oftentimes they can scare a woman. Like I said - it's not about being easy going and openminded - I'd like to think I'm both those things. It's about feeling safe.

And like I said before - I don't want men to be more like women. In my real life, I have no problems with men. I love men. I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing about him.
To tell the truth, a lot of us do not think about these things. Women are smaller and less physically inclined and they know it. The average man can do pretty much what he wants and the woman knows it. This is not to discount the women who can take care of business, there are those out there. (Yes, there are also tons of violent women out there. I've read sources that say a lot of domestic violence is initiated by the woman, but that is off topic and just what I read)

Unfortunately, we don't think of these things. There are cases when we get a "taste of our own medicine." Like if we get stalked by another man. Now, there is a difference between getting hit on, looked at. That can be flattering. But getting outright stalked by someone that you want nothing to do with is extremely scary.

When they wouldn't take no for an answer, and they even take it far as to say something that suggests or hints that they are going to have their way with you, whether you like it or not... It's even scarier when its a big dude. This stuff is life changing.

I had it happen to me. However, I didn't need that experience. I've talked to and met tons of women who have been stalked by sick perverts. (I myself have been stalked by one of those types of guys)

A man's worst nightmare is having his manhood taken from him. When they are faced with that, they tend to gain a little perspective... I mean the worst thing you can do to a human is to strip him or her of his or her humanity.

...but then I can only speak for myself.



I know I rambled on about some neurotic crap, but this stuff happens.
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:42 AM
 
4,098 posts, read 7,096,034 times
Reputation: 5682
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImmortalRites View Post
The overwhelming majority of men I know who are in relationships kind of stumbled into it. None of these guys are the type to be dating various women while being single - more like they were single for huge periods of time until they were lucky enough to find a girl through friends or work or something who liked them. I know very very very few men who can be single and have no problem dating multiple women. My best friend is an example of this - good looking smart young dude from a rich family who is a fantastic guy...he was damn near permanently single for 3 or 4 years until he stumbled onto his current girlfriend. I know guys at my gym who are extremely good looking and extremely kind/friendly who I've never seen with a girl in years and years that I've known them


Why is it so incredibly difficult for most men to be successful with women? I don't even believe all the crap on the net posted about looks, status, personality, confidence or income...I know plenty guys with most or even all those traits who have very little dating success. I'm completely baffled by what it takes to do well in dating


I mean obviously the opposite of that is not true... Most of these girls that my friends are dating would have 50 guys ready to date them the second they would break up with their current boyfriends so why does this imbalance exist?


Are there a larger number of men who find dating to be manageable and I'm just not finding them?
Your circle of friends must be very small. Maybe you should have titled this thread "Why are there few decent women for men to date"? I don't know or care where you live, but I think your so called
observations are just plain wrong.
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,698 posts, read 34,240,753 times
Reputation: 76906
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
To tell the truth, a lot of us do not think about these things. Women are smaller and less physically inclined and they know it. The average man can do pretty much what he wants and the woman knows it. This is not to discount the women who can take care of business, there are those out there. (Yes, there are also tons of violent women out there. I've read sources that say a lot of domestic violence is initiated by the woman, but that is off topic and just what I read)

Unfortunately, we don't think of these things. There are cases when we get a "taste of our own medicine." Like if we get stalked by another man. Now, there is a difference between getting hit on, looked at. That can be flattering. But getting outright stalked by someone that you want nothing to do with is extremely scary.

When they wouldn't take no for an answer, and they even take it far as to say something that suggests or hints that they are going to have their way with you, whether you like it or not... It's even scarier when its a big dude. This stuff is life changing.

I had it happen to me. However, I didn't need that experience. I've talked to and met tons of women who have been stalked by sick perverts. (I myself have been stalked by one of those types of guys)

A man's worst nightmare is having his manhood taken from him. When they are faced with that, they tend to gain a little perspective... I mean the worst thing you can do to a human is to strip him or her of his or her humanity.

...but then I can only speak for myself.



I know I rambled on about some neurotic crap, but this stuff happens.
Great post, thanks. You're very much right in that many men have no idea what it feels like to be physically vulnerable and take that safety for granted. Whereas most women think about it every day, and it affects where we go, when, and with whom. Guys might not think twice about parking on a dark street many blocks from where they're meeting friends, but you can bet that most women are thinking "I'm going to have to walk back here by myself in the dark, so I'll see if there's a well-lit lot closer."
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
To tell the truth, a lot of us do not think about these things. Women are smaller and less physically inclined and they know it. The average man can do pretty much what he wants and the woman knows it. This is not to discount the women who can take care of business, there are those out there. (Yes, there are also tons of violent women out there. I've read sources that say a lot of domestic violence is initiated by the woman, but that is off topic and just what I read)

Unfortunately, we don't think of these things. There are cases when we get a "taste of our own medicine." Like if we get stalked by another man. Now, there is a difference between getting hit on, looked at. That can be flattering. But getting outright stalked by someone that you want nothing to do with is extremely scary.

When they wouldn't take no for an answer, and they even take it far as to say something that suggests or hints that they are going to have their way with you, whether you like it or not... It's even scarier when its a big dude. This stuff is life changing.

I had it happen to me. However, I didn't need that experience. I've talked to and met tons of women who have been stalked by sick perverts. (I myself have been stalked by one of those types of guys)

A man's worst nightmare is having his manhood taken from him. When they are faced with that, they tend to gain a little perspective... I mean the worst thing you can do to a human is to strip him or her of his or her humanity.

...but then I can only speak for myself.



I know I rambled on about some neurotic crap, but this stuff happens.
Exactly. But you know, I don't blame men for not understanding this right off the bat. I read Obama's speech about the Trayvon Martin trial - and it made me realize that I didn't know anything about being a young black man in a way that I had never thought about before. Like I said, I don't blame men for not understanding - but it would be nice if they did!
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:48 PM
 
37,494 posts, read 45,798,776 times
Reputation: 56996
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
When you live in a walking city - there aren't always other people or cars around. Most of the time there are - but sometimes there aren't. My point is that you see all these things as compliments or harmless - and oftentimes they can scare a woman. Like I said - it's not about being easy going and openminded - I'd like to think I'm both those things. It's about feeling safe.

And like I said before - I don't want men to be more like women. In my real life, I have no problems with men. I love men. I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing about him.
Agreed 100%.
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:49 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,659,779 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Great post, thanks. You're very much right in that many men have no idea what it feels like to be physically vulnerable and take that safety for granted. Whereas most women think about it every day, and it affects where we go, when, and with whom. Guys might not think twice about parking on a dark street many blocks from where they're meeting friends, but you can bet that most women are thinking "I'm going to have to walk back here by myself in the dark, so I'll see if there's a well-lit lot closer."
Valet parking is even better!
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Old 07-20-2013, 01:36 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Exactly. But you know, I don't blame men for not understanding this right off the bat. I read Obama's speech about the Trayvon Martin trial - and it made me realize that I didn't know anything about being a young black man in a way that I had never thought about before. Like I said, I don't blame men for not understanding - but it would be nice if they did!
This Trayvon Martin deal is one big mess imo.

Yeah being a young black man can be quite an experience. At the same time, I don't know what it is like to be a woman.

But I do know what it is like to be the target of a predator. To be subject to attempted feminization. IT was kinda like being in an outdoor prison.

I'm glad that it didn't escalate...yet. But just knowing the intention... *shudders*

Being vulnerable...
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Old 07-20-2013, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Virginia
2,765 posts, read 3,620,300 times
Reputation: 2355
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Exactly. It's not at all unusual for a woman to go about her daily business: going for a run, being at work, hitting the farmer's market, meeting a friend for drinks, etc. without being approached at all. Maybe men are looking at her and ranking her or thinking impure thoughts or whatever, but they're not approaching in any meaningful way. Sometimes I wonder if people are watching too many sitcoms where every week the protagonists are meeting different attractive single people who are totally into them, and thinking that's the norm. Barney from How I Met Your Mother, Joey Tribiani from Friends, or even Kramer from Seinfeld aren't real.
Beleive or not I agree with this. Many attractive women out there do not get approached as much as many people think but there are reasons for this. Many men assume that a woman at a supermarket or at work or at the drug store is a woman who is already either married or in a relationship and it is there shopping for perhaps her husband or children and therefore it is pointless to even.try. But the potential is there without a doubt. Many men fear getting in trouble or rejected and that is why they don't make a move.
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Old 07-20-2013, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Howard County, MD
2,222 posts, read 3,591,774 times
Reputation: 3417
Men and women don't understand each other at all. I say a man and a horse pretty much have the same desires in life: food, a spot in the herd, a mate, protection from danger, and not having to expend more energy then necessary when it's hot out. Women on the other hand are an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a big boatload of weird hormones.
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