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Has there ever been a time in the past when you look back and realize that someone was really into you? I remember one time someone that used to swim with me at the same time in the gym really liked talking to me. Unfortunately I had to switch the time I went to the gym, so she gave me her phone number and asked me to give her a call.
I stored the number in my phone but I forgot about it. A few weeks later I finally remembered, but unfortunately I just happened to lose the phone to a canoeing accident. When I went back to look for her a few times, she wasn't there.
When I was working in the corporate world, we had a smoking hot receptionist at the company I was working for in DC. Of course everybody in the company was trying to get the hands in the cookie jar, but she always talked to me, and like an idiot I wrote her off as having friendzoned me.
One day I was trying to get some people together to go to a Nationals Game because I wanted to see them play the Tigers. I figured I'd ask her, and she became very excited, but them was saddened she couldn't go because of a conflict.
This, of course, was the old, less confident, me. Lest we forget.
Lol maybe back as a teenager, yes I was kind of oblivious to quite a few really good guys who were subtle about their interest..
Those days are long gone, though & men make it abundantly clear--
to the point it's an annoyance in this city. .
Back when I first met my Ex I had two male friends of mine completely shut down on me right after I started seeing my Ex. One has never spoken to me since... the other has, but didn't talk to me or hang out with me for a year. It was like I had friends one day and the next "poof" they were gone.
My "guess" (and I can only guess because neither man ever told me) is they were both interested in me in a more romantic sense. And they were both really nice men, and one of them was rather handsome too... I liked them, etc... but never really considered them romantically. It's just not something that crossed my mind because they didn't seem interested enough. However, I would have gone out with them and who knows, maybe have been "wooed" if they treated me with a clear romantic interest and not just a "Buddy" interest. But neither ever asked me out other than to "hang out" as friends (which isn't a date). If they had, I would have said yes. Instead, they said nothing but then seemed mad at me when someone else did ask me out. Unfortunately, I am not a mind reader and I came to that realization after the fact that I was seeing someone else because it was only then that their behavior changed.
I figured I missed their signals. Now I can't read signals from men to save my life. I really thought a man was interested in me (asking me out, holding car doors for me, putting his arm around me when we walk together, etc) but nope, he is my friend and that's all he wants to be. C'est la vie.
Until I started reading forums on dating, I had no idea that, when men message me on OKC or talk to me IRL and ask details about my work or projects, they are likely interested in me. I thought they just wanted to talk about the stuff they were talking about.
When I was in my early 20s a fellow graduate student of mine who was studying design told me to come to her studio for lunch some time and she gave me the room key, but to make sure that I knock before barging in because she might be doing naked yoga(I found out later she made that up but was just trying to pique my interest). When I never met up with her invited me to play intramural softball with her, which I did, but I was oblivious again when I declined to go out for drinks afterwards. She asked me if I wanted to go running, and we went for a nice jog, but just chatted about research and stuff. Finally she called me up and said that she had been trying hard to get me to ask her out but that she was sick of it and that if I liked her she wanted to go out and if I didn't she wanted me to stay away. We dated for nine months and I still consider her a friend. I am not usually that dense, but I think I was thrown off due to the fact that she was French and spoke with a heavy accent.
However, I would have gone out with them and who knows, maybe have been "wooed" if they treated me with a clear romantic interest and not just a "Buddy" interest. But neither ever asked me out other than to "hang out" as friends (which isn't a date). If they had, I would have said yes.
They probably read on some internet forum that women like to be "friends first" and then date.
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