Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
hey guys I have a big problem and thought I would come here for advice. my partner has been withholding sex lately and it has been really frustrating to me, so much I am thinking about breaking up with him. he says he doesn't want to bottom for me anymore and wants to do the intercural/frot thing instead. when I asked him why, well I won't get into details but lets just say he brought up health concerns. but I tried to convince him not to worry, what we are doing is natural and normal. well that still didn't convince him and the new thing, as a total/power top, just isn't satisfying to me... actually it is so damn frustrating I am close to breaking up with him. is that reasonable or am i coming across as too selfish? just thought I'd get some opinions. thanks
I'm assuming by the topping/bottoming talk that you're gay, OP? Part of being in a relationship is that getting what you want all the time isn't going to happen. At the same time, he should be a bit more understanding about changing the terms of your relationship midstream. If he wants to explore being versatile and you aren't willing to help him do so, then it might be time to call it a day.
I am bi, with a man right now. Actually I have no interest in bottoming and he hasn't brought up any interest in topping. So we are compatible in that way. However this new thing is just not doing it for me. I am not sure if he is having any real medical issues from being topped or if that's just his excuse.
Sometimes you love someone but you are just not sexually compatible. It's sad, but it happens.
You could try telling him that you are not trying to be controlling, this is just something you need in a relationship. And be aware that the other stuff may be something he really needs, and you may be looking at a 50/50 split, or something like that, as a compromise. Would that work for you?
You could also ask him if the health concerns are the real problem, and, if you find a way to address those concerns will he be comfortable bottoming regularly. It may turn out that his real worry is something else... maybe even something easy to fix.
Sometimes people are afraid to ask for what they really want in a relationship because it seems impossibly huge to them, seems like to much to ask, but to their partner it seems simple and easy to grant. It's sad if a relationship ends because of something like that, unspoken. So, ask. For all you know he would be fine with bottoming if you cuddled more and called him Spike during sex .
hey guys I have a big problem and thought I would come here for advice. my partner has been withholding sex lately and it has been really frustrating to me, so much I am thinking about breaking up with him. he says he doesn't want to bottom for me anymore and wants to do the intercural/frot thing instead. when I asked him why, well I won't get into details but lets just say he brought up health concerns. but I tried to convince him not to worry, what we are doing is natural and normal. well that still didn't convince him and the new thing, as a total/power top, just isn't satisfying to me... actually it is so damn frustrating I am close to breaking up with him. is that reasonable or am i coming across as too selfish? just thought I'd get some opinions. thanks
He needs to be more specific than "health concerns." Does it hurt him? Is it possible he cheated on you, or suspects that you cheated on him, and he doesn't want there to be any new infection?
If he does not talk straight with you, that would be a huge red flag about the strength of the relationship overall.
So, you're keeping score? It's not going to end well.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
.
