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Old 12-14-2007, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
523 posts, read 2,899,368 times
Reputation: 378

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I went out to dinner with a former co-worker of mine a week ago. He has been working in the U.S. for the past few months and is moving back to Europe in two weeks. Other than having drinks together a couple months back and exchanging some instant messages here and there, we really haven’t spent time together. Anyway, the other night we had dinner and when the bill came he took it and paid. I tried to pay but he said it was ok. So, I thanked him and we ended our night.

In my mind, that meant nothing other than he was just being nice. When I mentioned it to my male roommate, he said that the guy is just trying to get on my nice side so that when he wants to make a move, he can do so easily. Again, this guy is leaving for Europe in two weeks. Forever. I will likely see him one more time to say bye before he leaves. He has never shown any romantic interest in me whatsoever.

The only reason I bring this up is because every time a male friend does something nice, my roommate makes a comment about the guy wanting more than friendship. Is it true that a majority of men only befriend women and do nice things for them because they are hoping that one day it will progress beyond friendship?
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Old 12-14-2007, 12:50 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,195,928 times
Reputation: 55551
many a woman has saved my posterior with a lil advice help or support.
sex was never in the equation at all neither payback, they just felt like doing it for no apparent reason at all.
they are funny creatures aren't they. highly highly unpredictable.
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Old 12-14-2007, 12:54 PM
 
1,413 posts, read 3,042,076 times
Reputation: 1367
I have women friends that I, honestly, don't want to sleep with.

Could I be friends with a woman I was attracted to, without wanting to have sex with her? Nope. But I could be friends with her while wanting to sleep with her.

There is a lot of value, for me, in having female friends. The big thing for me is that I have kids, I'm a single dad, and most of my male friends even the ones with kids just can't relate with some of the aspects of my life. Besides that, there are many great things that come from a platonic bond with the opposite sex
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Old 12-14-2007, 12:56 PM
 
Location: huh?
3,099 posts, read 2,634,094 times
Reputation: 511
nah, there are tons of guys who just want a friendship with ANYONE. im not saying they would turn ya down if you made a move on them though.
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:04 PM
 
165 posts, read 661,209 times
Reputation: 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anu2 View Post
I went out to dinner with a former co-worker of mine a week ago. He has been working in the U.S. for the past few months and is moving back to Europe in two weeks. Other than having drinks together a couple months back and exchanging some instant messages here and there, we really haven’t spent time together. Anyway, the other night we had dinner and when the bill came he took it and paid. I tried to pay but he said it was ok. So, I thanked him and we ended our night.

In my mind, that meant nothing other than he was just being nice. When I mentioned it to my male roommate, he said that the guy is just trying to get on my nice side so that when he wants to make a move, he can do so easily. Again, this guy is leaving for Europe in two weeks. Forever. I will likely see him one more time to say bye before he leaves. He has never shown any romantic interest in me whatsoever.

The only reason I bring this up is because every time a male friend does something nice, my roommate makes a comment about the guy wanting more than friendship. Is it true that a majority of men only befriend women and do nice things for them because they are hoping that one day it will progress beyond friendship?
The answer is a definite MAYBE. Without question, I know men that do this. Absolutely. I also know men that are emotionally mature enough and have respect for people, female or not, that honestly extend signs of friendship to females with no expectations for anything more.

I know a 49 year old divorced woman who is desirable to men. She's intelligent too, but when the married guy next door snow plows her driveway without being asked, she never thinks it's anything other than friendship despite the fact the same married man made a fool of himself hitting on another women at one of her parties. When a single man she once dated texts her drunk at midnight on a Friday, asking her what she is doing, she honestly states she can't imagine why he's doing that. (Really!) The naiveté she displays toward men is extreme.

I think a healthy dose of skepticism is essential to determine everyone's true motives. Guilty until proven innocent is my motto!
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:22 PM
 
12,669 posts, read 20,404,410 times
Reputation: 3050
Yes I think allot of them do... I think some men can be friends with women.....Maybe not want anything.....?.......My guy friends when not married would say if you ever want to take this further we sure can do that....LOL....
And the sex thing......most men are horn dogs...
Sorry guys.....
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Old 12-14-2007, 02:18 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,764 posts, read 40,065,026 times
Reputation: 18068
I've had a lot of platonic male friendships in my life. However, we had mutual interests which made the friendships worthwhile for both. A good friendship is a balance of give and take. I'm a good listener, my advice is decent, sometimes the friend is a coworker or someone in the same profession. Or maybe we have the same hobbies or like the same music bands. If I am friends with a guy, he's not with me for female type company. And I am not going to sit there and talk about shopping , handbags or babies. I can talk guy talk as well as any guy, although of course I'm not going to discuss other chicks with him.
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Please delete my account!
26 posts, read 88,165 times
Reputation: 30
Default Men And Women As Friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anu2 View Post
I went out to dinner with a former co-worker of mine a week ago. He has been working in the U.S. for the past few months and is moving back to Europe in two weeks. Other than having drinks together a couple months back and exchanging some instant messages here and there, we really haven’t spent time together. Anyway, the other night we had dinner and when the bill came he took it and paid. I tried to pay but he said it was ok. So, I thanked him and we ended our night.

In my mind, that meant nothing other than he was just being nice. When I mentioned it to my male roommate, he said that the guy is just trying to get on my nice side so that when he wants to make a move, he can do so easily. Again, this guy is leaving for Europe in two weeks. Forever. I will likely see him one more time to say bye before he leaves. He has never shown any romantic interest in me whatsoever.

The only reason I bring this up is because every time a male friend does something nice, my roommate makes a comment about the guy wanting more than friendship. Is it true that a majority of men only befriend women and do nice things for them because they are hoping that one day it will progress beyond friendship?
No, it's not true at all. Before moving I had a "best friends only" relationship with a woman for over 3 years.

Zman
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:16 PM
 
Location: VA
549 posts, read 1,926,474 times
Reputation: 348
Can be true... depends on the girl in my opinion. Some girls are smoking hot while some other girls just pick the "wrong" friends (some girls like the attention and want only that, attention?).

Though, why is your roommate so interested? Unless he's the "brother" kind of friend/roommate, maybe he's interested? Sounds like jealousy or over protectiveness.
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:49 PM
 
2,482 posts, read 8,719,453 times
Reputation: 1972
While it can be difficult, it is entirely possible and feasible to have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex.
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