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Old 07-25-2013, 06:00 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,375 times
Reputation: 10

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First time on one of these and probably asking for advice I already know but here it goes....

I have been in a long distance relationship for three years with my high school sweetheart, everything has been going along great and I see her every four to six weeks. Over the past year we have talked about her relocating to be closer to me getting engaged and married. We are both divorced to our spouses after 25 years of marriage and single, she has a daughter and mine are all grown up, her marriage was rocky and the divorce still is with her x.

She was planning on relocating in six months but now tells me she has been dating and is in love with a married man that has a 6 and 8 year old kid. He has basically told her if she moves down her to be with me the relationship is over but if she stays there they will work on their relationship.

I am so whipped and in love with this woman I don't know what to do...
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,264 posts, read 81,693,780 times
Reputation: 39500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfer x View Post
First time on one of these and probably asking for advice I already know but here it goes....

I have been in a long distance relationship for three years with my high school sweetheart, everything has been going along great and I see her every four to six weeks. Over the past year we have talked about her relocating to be closer to me getting engaged and married. We are both divorced to our spouses after 25 years of marriage and single, she has a daughter and mine are all grown up, her marriage was rocky and the divorce still is with her x.

She was planning on relocating in six months but now tells me she has been dating and is in love with a married man that has a 6 and 8 year old kid. He has basically told her if she moves down her to be with me the relationship is over but if she stays there they will work on their relationship.

I am so whipped and in love with this woman I don't know what to do...
Oh boy have you ever lost perspective

This woman is not well-grounded, a bit confused about what real love looks like, and no prize in her current state of mind.

Reclaim your backbone man, you need to take a stand.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:12 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 3,901,643 times
Reputation: 2927
Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfer x View Post
she has been dating and is in love
As Johnny Most once proclaimed, "It's Over, It's Over"
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:13 PM
 
34,813 posts, read 33,657,209 times
Reputation: 60481
Drop that woman immediately and find someone close to you who will not think it is okay to date a married man.
It is doubtful he will ever actually divorce his wife so she will find herself "waiting" for him for a really long time.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 24,202,889 times
Reputation: 16166
Yeah...I'd move on and drop her.

I was interested in a dude a long time ago and he seemed into me, but I found out he was separated and I told him 'call me when the ink dries on the divorce papers'. He never did.

It's not worth it to date someone who would willingly be with someone who is in a relationship.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:22 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
64,657 posts, read 54,231,258 times
Reputation: 56308
Why was she dating anyone while making plans to be with you? Strike 1: she was deceiving you, and dating behind your back (actually counts as 2 strikes). Strike 2: dating a married man (what was she THINKING?! Obviously she has shaky ethics.) Strike 3: choosing the married guy over an unmarried guy, and buying into his line that she has a future with him. She's either attached to drama, has low self-esteem, or is incredibly stupid. Or all of the above. Clearly, you didn't know her as well as you thought you did. Bullet dodged.


Before you walk away, consider having a conversation with her, a goodbye, where you ask her why she was dating someone else while dating you, and where you tell her you're very disillusioned with her, and could never be with someone who lies, sneaks around, and gets involved with a married guy. Thank her for revealing her true nature to you before, rather than after, the wedding. Then hang up the phone, and move on with your life.

So sorry, OP. But consider it a dodged cannonball.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-25-2013 at 06:40 PM..
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Stuart, FL
109 posts, read 109,400 times
Reputation: 107
I'm 15, so my experience with this is about squat. However, I'm going to try, here.
This is pretty simple: If this woman truly is in love with you, as you are with her, then she will break up with her other boyfriend and move closer to you.
However, if she can't find it within herself to leave her other man, than she is clearly not truly in love with you and if that's the case you should forget her and move on.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:34 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 7,194,998 times
Reputation: 6726
Did you two agree to be not-exclusive? Is married guy's relationship open -- does his wife know and approve?
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:35 PM
 
16,523 posts, read 20,294,664 times
Reputation: 29197
Quote:
Originally Posted by plmokn View Post
As Johnny Most once proclaimed, "It's Over, It's Over"

larrrrrry birddd stole the ball..he stole the balllllll!!

use to like listening to johnny most on the radio





slip out the back jack, no need to be coy roy, just set yourself free



im willing to bet, whatever she is telling you, is the tip of the iceberg- she just told you, she is done..with you...

i thought by now, you'd realize, there aint no way to hide your (her) lying eyes
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Old 07-25-2013, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Hilo, Hawaii
11,389 posts, read 9,120,711 times
Reputation: 20271
what makes this woman with no moral compass so special? really, man, have some respect and dignity for yourself.
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