Asking out an ex-bff’s ex-wife??

[Sky-Blue]

Originally Posted by LexWest

I'm not going to give you advice about what you should do, because most people already know what they plan to do and usually want confirmation. You already made up your mind. Time will tell what is meant to be.

I'm still thinking this through. I fear that contacting her could make her feel weird. She may not want to go back to the past. I don't want to cause her awkwardness since we may be seeing each other around the city (at sports events, festivals, shopping malls). But now seems the window of opportunity since she is actively seeking a relationship with online dating.

[Tell-the-Truth]

Nah, not feeling it! I think it would be great to send a message along the lines of "hey, what a coincidence" or "small world that I'd see your profile, how have you been? " or something similar but to start out the gate with ideas/intentions of dating her, nope!

This has nothing to do with the "bro code" and everything to do with your not knowing the circumstances behind her divorce. Her being on a dating sight gives no accurate indication about the condition of her heart/feelings as it concerns her divorce to someone you stated she clearly loved. IMO, unless and until you discover her "story" since you last spoke I consider it to be presumptuous and a bit selfish (as someone who knew her and her husband and was friends to them both) to think she may receive you as a dating interest as she would someone who never knew her personally.

[LexWest]

Sky-Blue, my impression is that an ex friend implies a falling out, or someone that you don't want to be friends with or have familiarity with anymore; not so much just losing distance. Meanwhile, an old friend is someone you happen to have known for a long time. You might go separate ways, and it might not be the same, but if you met up, some familiarity and amicability would still be there. I got the impression you claimed if you met this guy again, it would be old times again. Hardly an ex-friend.

In any case, you didn't answer my questions on your feelings for her.

[Sky-Blue]

Originally Posted by LexWest

you didn't answer my questions on your feelings for her.

I cared for her very much and thought the world of her.

Originally Posted by Tell-the-Truth

I consider it to be presumptuous and a bit selfish (as someone who knew her and her husband and was friends to them both) to think she may receive you as a dating interest as she would someone who never knew her personally.

Your quoted words are probably right. She needs to move forward with her life; not backward.

I will finish my online dating profile sections and post my pics. However, I won't contact her. Someday she might come across my profile and the decision will be hers. If some lady posts a relationship advice thread asking "Should I contact the Best Man from my wedding?," then please tell her "yes!"

[SD4020]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Go for it. It is always worth a shot.

[NewHavensFinest]

I wouldnt even get into the online date profile thing.....Even though thats how you found her again she might feel embarrassed about it.

Im starting to feel like you two could get right back into things minus the 3rd wheel...

If you were to contact her through the dating site Id probably leave my profile blank and just fill out the personal stats part.

Its not hard to tell her the truth. You moved back home and wanted to meet someone, so you started browsing the sites and her profile came up and its a dream come true lol

Is it creepy to just knock on her door? or look her number up?

I think if I contacted her online I would say that I miss her and wanted to see her, leaving my number.

Then hang out with her and tell her what you want.


My thing is...Dont wait for something to happen, dont let the fate of this something be out of your control. You saw her face, its a sign, take the initiative and find out now instead of hanging on like a schoolboy lol.