Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Those things are not in any way related to love. That said, romantic love just isn't and shouldn't be unconditional. I am just not going to love Ted Bundy. The person has to have value. PERSONALLY I love the character and integrity value of my husband. The longer we are together, the more the love approaches unconditional insofar as the trust that we have developed. If he were to suddenly demonstrate that he had been hiding his serial killer tendencies all these years, well really not so much.
The "conditional love" you are posting about is really about how someone demonstrates love for another. A woman who demands certain behaviors or certain gifts, is expecting to receive her version of love. That's how she "knows" she's loved.
But you don't have to be concerned about that. You would probably recognize a "gold digger" if you saw her in action. You have to ask yourself, "how would I show love?" If you love, you need to know how to show it.
Love is unselfish and is kind, and wants the good of the beloved above everything else. If you don't feel that way about your beloved, then she is not your beloved. It isn't about what you receive; it is about what you do. Think of love as an action word, a verb. It needs to be acted on.
If you do this , then i will love you.
If you buy me gifts , then i will love you.
If you earn this amont of money , then i will love you.
If you emotionaly support me , then i will love you.
And so on. Love come with all sorts of conditions.
But why ?
Why can't we love without expectations ?
Why can't we love without conditions ?
For me , love means sacrifice. But i don't believe in conditional love nor i think its true or real love.
That is why i don't belive in Love at all. Putting conditions on love ?? Blah. I would rather live single all my life.
Sorry for my english. It is not my first language.
If you do this , then i will love you.
If you buy me gifts , then i will love you.
If you earn this amont of money , then i will love you.
If you emotionaly support me , then i will love you.
And so on. Love come with all sorts of conditions.
But why ?
Why can't we love without expectations ?
Why can't we love without conditions ?
For me , love means sacrifice. But i don't believe in conditional love nor i think its true or real love.
That is why i don't belive in Love at all. Putting conditions on love ?? Blah. I would rather live single all my life.
Sorry for my english. It is not my first language.
Because all human relationships, be they romantic or platonic or familial or whatever, operate on the basis of some sort of reciprocity. We form bonds with people for a reason. Otherwise, what's the point? The whole notion of "unconditional love" is just illogical.
My current philosophy on love is that it must be based on common priorities (ideals) and communication. Without such as this, it will most likely fail after some time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misterunit
If you do this , then i will love you.
If you buy me gifts , then i will love you.
If you earn this amont of money , then i will love you.
If you emotionaly support me , then i will love you.
This is not love because it is focused on the self. It is self-love, transposed onto another probably because since the other person gratifies what the person who is doing the transposing is craving, they have deluded themselves into believing they are in love with that person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misterunit
For me , love means sacrifice.
I feel that is just about it. It is really hard work. And entirely about taking oneself out of the equation. A relationship that works is really an exhausting one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misterunit
Sorry for my english. It is not my first language.
Maybe your mother will give you unconditional love (or maybe not), but nobody else will.
If you can't have any expectations of a person, it isn't possible to love them.
If it is a waste of time to expect them to have your back, or to communicate with you, then you can't trust them and if you can't trust them, it is very difficult to love them.
Adultery is hard on relationships and if monogamy is not a condition that both parties can meet, then a lot of people are going to have trouble with maintaining that love.
Personally, one of the conditions to get love from me is that you must not be a serial killer or a pedophile. You can't meet that condition, then don't expect any love from me.
The "conditions" that OP is stating (give me a new car and I will love you) have absolutely nothing to do with love and a lot to do with manipulation. Not quite the same thing at all.
If you haven't figured this out yet, love in America is mostly conditional. I love you cause of the sex, good looks, you have money, how you make me feel, because you make me laugh etc. Unconditional love usually only comes after the relationship is established, that is, I do nice things for the other one because I want to make you happy. Most people are self centered. "Its all about me and my happiness" That's conditional love.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
True dat
