Why do some cheaters hide their cheating and decieve the person being cheated on? (wife, long distance)
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Why can't they just break up before running off with someone else?
It happened to me. I believe the reason a SO gets into a new relationship before leaving the first one is he/she is insecure and unsure. They need the safety of the "old" relationship, in case the new one doesn't work. That way there will still be someone there. Either way, they won't be alone. That is the only reason I can believe for the secrecy.
I suppose it could be the excitement of getting away with something. Although I was pretty excited (not in a good way) when I packed my junk (but it's good junk ) and left.
People cheat for different reason so here are a few answers to your question:
1)They just cheat to have fun, not thinking about leaving so why would they ...let their spouse know?
2) They want to be sure the other relationship stabilize before they leave...
3) They like to have a variety (like someone else said), mistresses, etc...
4) Excitement
5) No self-respect
6)
Where is Dazed and Amused? I'm sure he could answer this one with alacrity!
IMO a cheating man or woman for that matter have lots of reasons for doing it, and it depends on the relationship. If its a long term one, short term one, long distance or kind of normal one.
I think Mimi gave some good examples.
But ultimately doesn't it come down to what the person being cheated on will put up with? If nothing is said and its swept under the rug...the person being cheated on just stomachs the pain and the cheater feels like a winner.
Doesn't the person being cheated on feel like crap? Isn't it a way of saying: 'You aren't enough for me so I'm going elsewhere to find what I want."
Isn't it?
They could have plenty of anchors with the husband/wife/gf/bf (kids, mutual friends, house, whatever) that breaking it off means they're having to give up or going to have to have issues with those things.
I think people keep cheating a secret because they know if the truth is found out their living conditions, and life style will change dramatically. Usually a divorce will follow the discovery of cheating, families will be broken up, income levels will change, lives will change. I think people cheat because they think they will never be caught, and life will go on the same as it is. Sometimes women who know their husbands are cheating will overlook it because they don't want the changes in their lives they know will take place if they protest. Sometimes they hope situations will change for the better.
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