Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Men who are "fakers" are not going to want to cohabitate. The fact a man is willing to cohabitate suggest he is commitment-minded.
If by "I don't do free trials" you mean you will not have sex before marriage, then you may be slapping the "faker" label on a lot of good men who don't deserve it. No man with any common sense or life experience is going to make a commitment to a woman until he first knows (among other things) that she and he are sexually compatible.
As a guy I would disagree with the first comment. I know plenty of guys who are willing to cohabitate with a woman not too long into the relationships. Every time it makes the woman think the guy is very serious about her- when in reality he is serious enough to want to live together, but in his mind that is light years apart from wanting to commit to marriage/engagement. Many guys these days (and some women, too) see moving in together as an early "baby step" of commitment, but nowhere near as serious as getting engaged or married.
I think the OP is referring to commitment in the more serious manner, which is engagement and marriage.
I dated a guy like this and I wasnt even looking for a commitment. He would constantly tell me he would call or we would hang out, but he always had excuses. He stopped calling and we stopped hanging out. but I would see him at work and he would ask me to hang out, but when I asked him when he had more excuses.
Men who are "fakers" are not going to want to cohabitate. The fact a man is willing to cohabitate suggest he is commitment-minded.
If by "I don't do free trials" you mean you will not have sex before marriage, then you may be slapping the "faker" label on a lot of good men who don't deserve it. No man with any common sense or life experience is going to make a commitment to a woman until he first knows (among other things) that she and he are sexually compatible.
I'm fine with having sex in a meaningful relationship. What I'm not ok with is moving in with a man before I even get engaged and know when it's happening, where and the invitations are passed out.
Have you read about the many stories of the woman moving in with her bf because she believed it was one step towards engagement but in the end, she spent 4+ years and the man got too comfortable that he forgot to propose and engagement never happened. It didn't happen because moving in isn't one step marriage. Getting proposed and informing that to your friends and family is what I would finally call one step towards marriage.
I'm fine with having sex in a meaningful relationship. What I'm not ok with is moving in with a man before I even get engaged and know when it's happening, where and the invitations are passed out.
Have you read about the many stories of the woman moving in with her bf because she believed it was one step towards engagement but in the end, she spent 4+ years and the man got too comfortable that he forgot to propose and engagement never happened. It didn't happen because moving in isn't one step marriage. Getting proposed and informing that to your friends and family is what I would finally call one step towards marriage.
Have you heard of 3,4,5+ year engagements? That happens frequently too. Putting a ring on it doesn't guarantee you anything.
I'm fine with having sex in a meaningful relationship. What I'm not ok with is moving in with a man before I even get engaged and know when it's happening, where and the invitations are passed out.
Have you read about the many stories of the woman moving in with her bf because she believed it was one step towards engagement but in the end, she spent 4+ years and the man got too comfortable that he forgot to propose and engagement never happened. It didn't happen because moving in isn't one step marriage. Getting proposed and informing that to your friends and family is what I would finally call one step towards marriage.
I've heard tons of opposite stories from guys claiming that almost half couples will have the woman ending pregnant "accidentally" within a year of moving in together.
Truth be told, there were 5 folks living together among the crowd that spoke of it and none of those 5 had their girlfriend ending up pregnant, even though I'm suspecting that four of them lived together for a longer time, one of them living 7 (SEVEN) years together. This last one was rather a true jerk though, long story.
Unless someone actually does the research on any of those topics,i.e. number of women who end up duped for like 4+ years, or number of women conceiving a child fast, those stories will be just about anecdotal evidence and we'll never know if there is really a significant percentage of women among the cohabiting couples who happened to wait for over 4+ years hoping for the man to propose, or if there is really a significant percentage of women who "accidentally" end up pregnant within a short time.
Have you heard of 3,4,5+ year engagements? That happens frequently too. Putting a ring on it doesn't guarantee you anything.
Yes, some men are getting smarter with the stringing along thing. I'm not falling for that either. I would need to know when it's going to take, where, how and he inform our family about it.
Yes, some men are getting smarter with the stringing along thing. I'm not falling for that either. I would need to know when it's going to take, where, how and he inform our family about it.
You sound like fun time
I don't understand why men aren't lining up around the block proposing to you.
It's funny, I've don't want to get married and have been proposed to twice and asked to move in with someone once. Seems to me the less pressure there is on a man the more willing he might be to commit-even though in my instance I declined.
Many guys these days (and some women, too) see moving in together as an early "baby step" of commitment, but nowhere near as serious as getting engaged or married.
It's not, it's a scam to all the marriage-minded women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jm31828
I think the OP is referring to commitment in the more serious manner, which is engagement and marriage.
They usually don't wear that neon flashing sign that says "I'm good for tonight but if you are looking into the future you will not see me in yours" sign.
You just have to experience real life in the real world and pay attention. If you never get hurt or disappointed when it comes to love/relationships you really haven't had either. It is a natural part of putting your emotional self out into the world for someone to pay attention to one way or the other.
I don't understand why men aren't lining up around the block proposing to you.
Maybe because the fakers don't like smart women that can see those games right away. They can't stand that. The want to seek one that will fall for words and easily move in without even questioning him or his actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
It's funny, I've don't want to get married and have been proposed to twice and asked to move in with someone once. Seems to me the less pressure there is on a man the more willing he might be to commit-even though in my instance I declined.
But who really said I was going to pressure him? If I had to do that, the relationship would be over too. I do agree it has to come from the man himself but I just won't fall for what many of those women in the forever gf category fell for. I just refuse to be made a fool.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
