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It seems to me, and I could be wrong here - but the gist of this thread seems to be, "I'm not don't find women or other men creepy - so why do you women folk find men creepy?" And the answer to that is basically that, as a man, most men don't feel their safety threatened by women or other men unless there are other circumstances involved (such as a bar fight or someone breaking into your home). Being a woman is just different and we are the target of lots of lewd, dangerous, and scary behavior that most men never have to worry about. By no means am I saying that the majority of men are creepy, serial murderers or rapists - but it's something that most women are concerned about and therefore do their best to avoid being in unsafe situations.
Women are also often described as psycho if they partake in any behavior that is considered clingy or needy/dependent.
Yes... while men get "creepy", women get invalidated with:
crazy
hysterical
bee-yotch (the non silly version)
clingy/needy
There are times these phrases are used towards a woman when not warranted at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Where exactly do you get this number? I agree with most rest of your post though.
And Once women come up with the definition of what "creepy" actualy means, this discussion would have merit. As it stands, its pretty much any action or words spoken by an approaching men, whos is undesireable. Same actions and words by a man approaching that the woman likes is called courtship.
Usually it refers to one of these two: 1. having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear: a creepy ghost story.
3. Slang. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird.
What some men don't seem to grasp is that creepy is not always used to mean the former. It does not mean a guy who seems like he might rape or kill or kidnap whatever. It can just mean someone with poor social skills who makes others uncomfortable. It doesn't mean he is dangerous or suspected of being capable of crime. The latter usage is commonly used to mean that the person's personality/demeanor/presence/appearance is unpleasant in a way that feels socially inappropriate. This is why awkward men may get called creepy; social awkwardness falls under the scope of the definition of creepy.
Personally, I don't toss that word around & don't hear many other women over the age of 18 or so who do. It can be an immature, young woman's thing to cry "perv" or "creep" a lot, just as young men can us demeaning terms towards women...
Being creepy like being a loser are two of those things that men only get called even when there are ton of women who exhibit those same traits
Yup.
I too have heard women call a guy creepy or loser or whatever, even when they're not of any better breeding or social standing. I've also heard people called creepy or stalkers based on looks alone.
Others have nailed it on the head. Men have a greater tendency towards outright aggression and have a greater tendency towards actually DOING something with it. Women, on the other hand, seem to be more insidious and do things that mess with one's head. While not outright illegal, it's almost as bad...
For every story I hear about some dude going off on a woman, I hear another story about a woman being a spiteful brat during a breakup/relationship rough spot/military deployment/divorce.
I too have heard women call a guy creepy or loser or whatever, even when they're not of any better breeding or social standing. I've also heard people called creepy or stalkers based on looks alone.
Others have nailed it on the head. Men have a greater tendency towards outright aggression and have a greater tendency towards actually DOING something with it. Women, on the other hand, seem to be more insidious and do things that mess with one's head. While not outright illegal, it's almost as bad...
For every story I hear about some dude going off on a woman, I hear another story about a woman being a spiteful brat during a breakup/relationship rough spot/military deployment/divorce.
Neither of these qualify as "creepy" though. IMO "creepy" is a person who seems a little scary, "off" in a way that makes people feel threatened in some way.
Creepy is the way this young girl in San Diego felt about the man who is now suspecting of kidnapping her (also referenced a few posts above), she told her friends he was making her feel uncomfortable. Creepy is that sense of danger you get, which too often we don't listen to.
Furthermore, where do these creeps come from? I know a bunch of chaps, I don't see them acting stalkerish. The stories of pictures of penises and lewd comments on dating sites make it sound commonplace. A few of my buddies dated online, I can't picture them doing the horrors women write about.
Creeps.
Are they among us?
Have shady people infiltrated our social circles?
I come across many people of all ages during the day. None look obviously creepy. But that might be because I mind my own business.
Some women are more paranoid about men than some men are about women.
Creepy is unattractiveness, whether it's appearance and/or behavior; mostly appearance, since we first judge by site.
I would say you are right in that appearance is part of it, but not facial structure, body fat, or that sort of thing... more about appearance of body language and non-verbal language (leering at a woman, licking lips while staring at a woman, not breaking eye contact even after she looks away, touching her after she backs away from you, etc). You might say that's behavior, but the thing is, a lot of people don't even know they do this stuff. It's subconscious. And people read it subconscious too. I mean, their brains see it and process it... but they aren't actively thinking about it. That's why we call it a creepy "feeling."
I was reading a book I have on body language last night (that sort of thing is interesting to me) and there was a whole chapter dedicated to sexual body language. Where creepiness comes in is when one person (male or female) displays persistent sexual body language where the other doesn't (or the other shows body language of trying to "get away").
There was also a fascinating chapter on men who read body language well and how it helps them attract more women (all other things being equal). Being able to pick out cues that a woman doesn't even know she sends off can help a man hone in on a woman who is interested in finding a man. The book also claimed in studies 90% of male female interactions are started by the woman... but most men and women think that they are started by the man. They did a study and women would look up, give feminine body language signals to men and the men would come to them. But both people *thought* since the man walked across the room, he initiated.
Interesting stuff.
The name of the book is "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Allen and Barbara Pease. I recommend reading it if you are a man who is accused of being "creepy" when you know in your heart you aren't a bad guy. It could help you to figure out why you are giving off those signals and how to avoid it.
Last edited by jillabean; 08-08-2013 at 07:00 AM..
Though not as common, women can be creepy (stalkers) too.
At my last job a woman accepted a change-to-lower-grade (less money) to transfer into my department. She then insisted on being trained by me rather than the appropriate people in her role. She even got my address from the system and would drive out and explore the area and tell me her familiarity with it, as if to make it easy to ask her out. She would always tell me on the job, "she was at my disposal, for anything I could want."
Most of the time interested women are so subtle, but this bible thumper would stare longingly in my eyes and ask me anything and everything to keep a conversation going (despite me needing to get back to work).
The odd and wrong thing though was how co-workers (especially female) wouldn't think twice about her weird behavior, some even hoped I would persue her. Reverse the genders, add in a formal complaint, and she could have been fired or at least reassigned.
BTW, we had no common interests or values. I left that job partly because of this creep.
Though not as common, women can be creepy (stalkers) too.
At my last job a woman accepted a change-to-lower-grade (less money) to transfer into my department. She then insisted on being trained by me rather than the appropriate people in her role. She even got my address from the system and would drive out and explore the area and tell me her familiarity with it, as if to make it easy to ask her out. She would always tell me on the job, "she was at my disposal, for anything I could want."
Most of the time interested women are so subtle, but this bible thumper would stare longingly in my eyes and ask me anything and everything to keep a conversation going (despite me needing to get back to work).
The odd and wrong thing though was how co-workers (especially female) wouldn't think twice about her weird behavior, some even hoped I would persue her. Reverse the genders, add in a formal complaint, and she could have been fired or at least reassigned.
BTW, we had no common interests or values. I left that job partly because of this creep.
I don't know... I think it's just as common. It's just that women are more subtle about stalking. And going back to my book, men tend to be less likely to notice bad body language.
Of course, there is also a whole sexual harassment double standard and "shaming" of men who complain about being harassed by women.
Sorry about your experience. I can empathize what you went though and I am sorry you had to leave your job. I had a friend in college who had the same problem with a stalker woman. She gave us all the creeps.
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