Women 23-32: Do You Prefer Much Older Men or Men just a few years older? (husband, younger)
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Well at 46 I can tell you I am a different place in some ways, in some ways I am still the same. I can tell you that wisdom with age has taught me that some of that so called " be mature" is bull and after doing the what is expected of me from society it is better and more lively to take all that stuff less seriously.
And no matter your age you still have to learn to live with situations and you don't or won't always handle it with grace. Think a 60 year old guy that has been married for 30 years and gets dropped the bomb that she is leaving him is going to know how to handle that situation? Or that after building his career is shuffled out of his company and is faced with wondering what to do for work now? Or plays by the rules saving money to retire and is told his retirement just went bye bye because of the economy?
There is only one truth and wisdom as I see it, live for today and have as much fun as you can because tomorrow your plans might be swept from under you no matter how mature and responsible you were. If anything age tells me is do it now and as much as you can now while you can because the days ahead are less than has gone by and time is relentlessly on your heals like a predator.
The sum value of your life to me is measured in how much you accomplished in your goals, how much you lived life by experiences and how much fun you had, not measured by plans of tomorrow that may never happen or by money or things you gathered. It doesn't do much good to enjoy life only after you can only walk with a walker and your weeks plans are measured by doctors appointments. Work to the bone all your life to retire for that?
That's all nice and everything - but like I said, I was in a different place in my life in my early 20's than I am now. Honestly, if a guy in his 40's or 50's started hanging out with me and my friends when I was in my early 20's - I probably would have thought he was trying to relive his youth or he was into really young looking women. I still like to have fun - but I don't enjoy going out to loud bars and drinking. I'd rather go somewhere where we can hear each other talk and have some good food. I have no regrets in my life and I absolutely love where I am now. But like I said, I was never attracted to men that were my father's age when I was in my early 20's. Hey - if you still enjoy women in their early 20's and you feel like you have more in common with them than people your own age - and if they are interested in you as well - have fun! I'm just voicing my personal opinion of what I was attracted to in my 20's - and honestly, no amount of debating is going to change how I felt then.
I never stated that. A guy and a woman could start dating and assume they know the other's correct age but find out the truth later. Quite frankly I do not care what you believe.
I think a lot of looking younger goes hand in hand with how you treat yourself. I was never a party girl or someone who did binge drinking or drugs. I took care of my skin (didn't tan obsessively in my youth). Never smoked. I exercise, eat healthy, take care of myself and all that stuff melts years away. I use moisturizer and drink plenty of water.
Of course, genetics plays a role. I am friends with a man in his late 50s and he looks younger than his age to me. He's very active and is just now getting gray hair. While I had a boss who got gray hair in his early 30s--he looked like he was in his 40s from his hair alone.
I know I've mentioned the time I went out on a date with a man just a few years older than me... but he thought I was 9 years younger! I met him online and he misread my age. He didn't believe me... then he was mad at me for being "too old" (but he was a jerk in other ways too). That was a first and only date too.
I actually get hit on more by younger women than women my age, but I'm still in great shape for a guy my age. I think that an older guy (10 years) that has kept in shape and still looks good has a leg up in the game. we have the income that a guy just finishing college doesn't have, and we know how to play the game. That being said, I prefer a woman close to my age. As someone that's been married and divorced with kids I feel more comfortable with someone that's been there done that.
They are two different things. It's true that you could be romantically compatible with someone you relate well to but that doesn't mean that the fact that you can relate well to someone means that you would automatically be romantically compatible with that person. In my neighborhood, I relate well to people of all ages - from children to people in their 80's and 90's. However, if I was single - that doesn't meant that I'd want to date all those people. I can relate to people and still not be attracted to them in a romantic sense. When I was single - I was pretty much only attracted to people around my general age. Yes, some young women like old men but that is more the exception than the norm. I know people that are happily married with huge age difference - but MOST of the people I know are with people close to their own age. And many of my girlfriends are older by a year or two than their husbands. Actually, a couple are 6 or 7 years older than their husbands.
I don't care who you date nor do I judge you for whom you date. I asked the question in my original post because people cannot tell my genuine age. All I wanted to know was whether or not the woman would continue dating the guy when she found out he was older than she thought.
That's all nice and everything - but like I said, I was in a different place in my life in my early 20's than I am now. Honestly, if a guy in his 40's or 50's started hanging out with me and my friends when I was in my early 20's - I probably would have thought he was trying to relive his youth or he was into really young looking women. I still like to have fun - but I don't enjoy going out to loud bars and drinking. I'd rather go somewhere where we can hear each other talk and have some good food. I have no regrets in my life and I absolutely love where I am now. But like I said, I was never attracted to men that were my father's age when I was in my early 20's. Hey - if you still enjoy women in their early 20's and you feel like you have more in common with them than people your own age - and if they are interested in you as well - have fun! I'm just voicing my personal opinion of what I was attracted to in my 20's - and honestly, no amount of debating is going to change how I felt then.
I am not debating the 20 something woman with a 50 something man while that is possible it is not likely at least on a true relationship basis.. Although when it comes to music like a band situation or musicians that can bridge the gap SOMETIMES.
What I am debating is what people keep calling the "maturity level". Relive my youth?, I never stopped living it, bodies age, time makes you change your thoughts in some ways but you are only old when you let your spirit become so. There may come a day when your body betrays you can't help that, but if you betray your spirit before so, you have let yourself age faster.
I don't care who you date nor do I judge you for whom you date. I asked the question in my original post because people cannot tell my genuine age. All I wanted to know was whether or not the woman would continue dating the guy when she found out he was older than she thought.
I don't think I've ever dated someone with out knowing how old they were. Honestly, I don't think I would have wanted to date someone with that big of an age gap unless it was just for fun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
I am not debating the 20 something woman with a 50 something man while that is possible it is not likely at least on a true relationship basis.. Although when it comes to music like a band situation or musicians that can bridge the gap SOMETIMES.
What I am debating is what people keep calling the "maturity level". Relive my youth?, I never stopped living it, bodies age, time makes you change your thoughts in some ways but you are only old when you let your spirit become so. There may come a day when your body betrays you can't help that, but if you betray your spirit before so, you have let yourself age faster.
You can call it what you whatever you want - but like you said, you are not the same person now that you were when you were 20. I'm still a very bubbly, young at heart person but I'm certainly more mature at 37 than I was at 22. I handle situations better. I'm more comfortable with who I am. I'm better at taking responsibility for my actions. I would call that being more mature. I don't think your taste in music or wanting to be happy is the same thing as maturity.
32. Prefer 30-41 age bracket, give or take. Men under 30 seem to need a little more life experience to be at my level, men over 40 seem to be moving on to a new life stage than where I am at - I have a very young child where they usually have a child older and/or no kids and not ready to deal with a youngster.
I have no defined specific parameters for what age v. activities. As a previous poster stated, I prefer a man that has his sh*t together, an income and is stable. Once that part is established, then we'll talk. I haven't gotten much beyond that part as it seems to be a pretty big hold up for prospects.
Chemistry IS attractiveness, and if the chemistry is there, looks / sex / everything else seem to fall into place.
I am an old soul, and I connect with people that have a higher sense of maturity, intellect, worldly knowledge, desire for learning, and someone that can respect me and hold me accountable in the same breath, and expect I do the same in return.
No - I don't actively go anywhere to meet anyone, young or old. I just live my day to day life.
[quote=jillabean;30863471]I think a lot of looking younger goes hand in hand with how you treat yourself. I was never a party girl or someone who did binge drinking or drugs. I took care of my skin (didn't tan obsessively in my youth). Never smoked. I exercise, eat healthy, take care of myself and all that stuff melts years away. I use moisturizer and drink plenty of water.
Of course, genetics plays a role. I am friends with a man in his late 50s and he looks younger than his age to me. He's very active and is just now getting gray hair. While I had a boss who got gray hair in his early 30s--he looked like he was in his 40s from his hair alone.
I know I've mentioned the time I went out on a date with a man just a few years older than me... but he thought I was 9 years younger! I met him online and he misread my age. He didn't believe me... then he was mad at me for being "too old" (but he was a jerk in other ways too). That was a first and only date too.[/QUOTE
I take very good care of myself. I either run and workout at the gym or go running with a cousin. Ran three miles yesterday. I neither drink nor smoke. I have a full head of hair with just a little gray. The guy sounds like a first class douche.
A question for women who have posted here. Suppose you were dating a guy you thought was in his early to mid thirties but found out he was 44 what you do?
Well, first thing first .. I want to know what age range you're in before we date. If you evade the question, I know the game you're up to. If you lie and I find out, you're a liar. Pretty simple. Best answer is to be honest from the get go.
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