Quote:
Originally Posted by librarySue
My guess is that he has fictionalized his account of his relationship with YOU to the GF and now he has to demonstrate to her what a great guy he is. It isn't about you. He's trying to be a better man for her benefit. I wouldn''t complain, though, because you benefit also!
IMHO tell him in private that although you appreciate his efforts, (and I hope you do, because he put you through hell) you need some boundaries. Tell him what is making you uncomfortable.
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This is what I think it is. When he took my daughter he put it in her mind that I tortured her and kicked her out of my house. He, his mother and sister drilled it in her mind. She is on the high spectrum of Autism, so it wasn't hard.
I got her back by way of the police and then it was his time to have the kids again, and he did it again. I always followed what the courts said to the letter and he never did, but he was allowed the kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog
No one said pretend anything. What I said was to try to be cordial. Someone complimenting you is not creepy. If you want him to stop, there's nothing wrong with talking to him in private. On the other hand, why start a bitter arguement and be nasty when there is really no need to?
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I am always very cordial to him. I do not contact him or meet him more than I need to. I contact him a week or so before we are to meet with the kids as sort of a reminder or to see if there are any changes. I also call if I am going to buy things for the kids to verify a few things.
It is creepy. The last interaction I had with him when we were married was on July 21, 2007. He tried to take off with the kids while he was drunk and for the very first time, and for the very first time I called the police. They told us that neither of us had true custody because we were married and the next time the police were called, the instigator was going to jail.
He called his mother and she and his sister and her husband came over.
I was very upset. I told them everything, everything of how he had abused the kids and I. Everything. They acted like I was crazy. Of course they did. They had only seen our 'perfect' family and there was no way her son would have done that. Even though he was right there drunk and trying to drive off with my kids, there is no way he could be that way.
I talked with my brother in law for a bit. My ex mother in law came and was harassing me. I went out in the front yard and my ex BIL followed me. It was getting dark. Dusk. I spilled my heart to him and told him how are lives truly were.
Next there is a police officer standing next to me. He is looking at my face, shining his light in my eyes. He tells me that my ex and his mother called and said I was not save to be around other people, and was a harm to myself. My ex BIL flashed his badge at the cop and said none of that was true.
After it seemed as though all of the in laws left with my kids, my ex and I were sitting in the living room and it was almost midnight. I was sitting in my chair with my head in my hands and I told my ex I could not do this any more, this is it. I was wearing my eeyore pajama pants and a pink t shirt.
I kept hearing voices but my ex said it was nothing.
All of a sudden there are a large pair of feet standing next to me. I can see them as I am looking downwards. I look up and there is that same officer. He tells me he is taking me in.
Taking me in where?
For an evaluation. I ask why. He says I will find out. I tell him I am a civilian of the US and he is telling me what is going on. My ex and my ex mil had gone to the magistrates office and told them I was exhibiting bizarre behavior and losing weight and journaling. I was not safe around my family or myself.
I asked if I could at least get dressed, and he let me. I put my wedding ring and engagement ring in my pants pocket and that was the last day I ever wore them.
I was placed in the back of the police car and the voices I heard were my ex mil and ex bil out in my carport waiting for the police.
The cop told me he knew there was nothing wrong with me but once they went to the magistrate office it was his duty to come and get me.
I told him I understood. I just sat in his car crying and waiting until the person who would come in and talk to me arrived. It was after midnight, so it was July 22 now, 2007.
I was at a mental facility. All of the rest of them had to be interviewed as well. I told them all of my ex mils dirty little crazy family secrets and asked who the insane one was. I confronted them all and told them what I thought. She said I didn't have to see them, but I was raging mad and I was going to see them. In waiting to see them, I lost my ride home with the police officer and had to ride with them.
I got home at 7am. My crazy ex mil is all cheerful and smiling and asks my ex and I and my ex bil if we want her to go get us some sausage biscuits.
I grabbed my purse and called her a crazy m-fing ****** and grabbed my keys and I left. I went to my sisters house in another state and he would not stop calling me, begging my forgiveness.
It is creepy for him to compliment me and give me flowers. During most of our marriage he treated me as something not good enough to even grace the bottom of his shoes. His mother treated me the same way.
They messed me up for a nice little while and I was finally able to break away from his control more than 2 years after I left him. I was very afraid of him. I was afraid of him taking my kids. He owned me.
He does not own me anymore and for him to act like we are best buds is unacceptable.
I have recovered from all of that, for the most part. Somehow, I still have not been able to let this episode go, and I don't know if I ever will. I will never forgive his mother, and I will never forget. I don't know if I have forgiven him.
Once I was finally my own person and had the strength and perseverance to not allow him to control and belittle me anymore, the tables shifted. He saw something in me that he never saw before, and no longer was he allowed to treat me that way. There was a shock in his eyes. He had no idea what was going on.
No one ever said life was easy. These days, at least, I am happy.
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