U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 08-13-2013, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
6,837 posts, read 4,325,175 times
Reputation: 8233

Advertisements

My wife and I were talking about this earlier and I thought it would be interesting to see what people here thought.

Here's the situation: A married couple is about to have a baby, say their 3rd or 4th. Complications in the delivery put the couple in a "child or mother" scenario. Doctors can only save one and they have to choose who will live. If you were in this situation, what decision would you choose and why?

Without a doubt, I would choose my wife. I already have three kids, and it's not fair to them to continue on without their mother. They need a mom, not necessarily another sibling. Also, I have the years an emotional experiences invested in my wife. Losing a child at birth would not be easy, but losing a wife would be even worse.

My wife noted that it is likely highly religious couples who are likely to choose the child over the mother. Their objection to abortion would likely shape their decision. We are a pretty conservative couple ourselves, and pro-life. I draw a big distinction between the choice to make an abortion, which is a deliberate decision to terminate the life of the unborn child, and the choice presented in this scenario which places a couple who does not want to lose their child in a situation where they must choose child or mother. Big difference. It's no more an abortion than choosing the child is suicide for the mother if the couple chooses to save the child. I do ask that this not turn into a pro-life vs pro-abortion thread.

So what say you?

PS: Mods, I feel this thread is best suited for this relationships because it speaks to the bond between a married couple and how they apply that to ethical dilemmas.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-13-2013, 08:29 PM
 
10,464 posts, read 7,517,412 times
Reputation: 15515
You should know better than to post something like this (no ethics here ) . It belongs in another forum at the very least. . .
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 08:32 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 1,848,421 times
Reputation: 2816
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
My wife and I were talking about this earlier and I thought it would be interesting to see what people here thought.

Here's the situation: A married couple is about to have a baby, say their 3rd or 4th. Complications in the delivery put the couple in a "child or mother" scenario. Doctors can only save one and they have to choose who will live. If you were in this situation, what decision would you choose and why?

Without a doubt, I would choose my wife. I already have three kids, and it's not fair to them to continue on without their mother. They need a mom, not necessarily another sibling. Also, I have the years an emotional experiences invested in my wife. Losing a child at birth would not be easy, but losing a wife would be even worse.

My wife noted that it is likely highly religious couples who are likely to choose the child over the mother. Their objection to abortion would likely shape their decision. We are a pretty conservative couple ourselves, and pro-life. I draw a big distinction between the choice to make an abortion, which is a deliberate decision to terminate the life of the unborn child, and the choice presented in this scenario which places a couple who does not want to lose their child in a situation where they must choose child or mother. Big difference. It's no more an abortion than choosing the child is suicide for the mother if the couple chooses to save the child. I do ask that this not turn into a pro-life vs pro-abortion thread.

So what say you?

PS: Mods, I feel this thread is best suited for this relationships because it speaks to the bond between a married couple and how they apply that to ethical dilemmas.
Too tough of a question for me to answer. I asked my wife and she said the mother should live.

It is a good ethical question though.

Probably could either go here or Parenting or even Other Topics.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
6,837 posts, read 4,325,175 times
Reputation: 8233
Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
You should know better than to post something like this (no ethics here ) . It belongs in another forum at the very least. . .
Yeah, you're probably right. Hopefully we can get some good dialogue before the thread transition fully to a drama-laden side-show!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
14,520 posts, read 9,703,489 times
Reputation: 11675
Mother.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Pa
34,148 posts, read 20,370,270 times
Reputation: 18219
The mother. I agree with it being selfish to the other children to take their mommy.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,095 posts, read 56,964,608 times
Reputation: 38293
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
My wife and I were talking about this earlier and I thought it would be interesting to see what people here thought.

Here's the situation: A married couple is about to have a baby, say their 3rd or 4th. Complications in the delivery put the couple in a "child or mother" scenario. Doctors can only save one and they have to choose who will live. If you were in this situation, what decision would you choose and why?

Without a doubt, I would choose my wife. I already have three kids, and it's not fair to them to continue on without their mother. They need a mom, not necessarily another sibling. Also, I have the years an emotional experiences invested in my wife. Losing a child at birth would not be easy, but losing a wife would be even worse.

My wife noted that it is likely highly religious couples who are likely to choose the child over the mother. Their objection to abortion would likely shape their decision. We are a pretty conservative couple ourselves, and pro-life. I draw a big distinction between the choice to make an abortion, which is a deliberate decision to terminate the life of the unborn child, and the choice presented in this scenario which places a couple who does not want to lose their child in a situation where they must choose child or mother. Big difference. It's no more an abortion than choosing the child is suicide for the mother if the couple chooses to save the child. I do ask that this not turn into a pro-life vs pro-abortion thread.

So what say you?

PS: Mods, I feel this thread is best suited for this relationships because it speaks to the bond between a married couple and how they apply that to ethical dilemmas.
Whew, you like those cans of worms don't you, lol??

The good news is, this is not a scenario that happens much at all any more, as in, a very tiny percentage of the time - thank goodness.

As a mom with other kids to raise it would be a gut wrenching decision. I think my husband would choose me, hands down though.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 09:07 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 1,848,421 times
Reputation: 2816
What if....

The husband and wife marriage was a 4 out of 10 AND there was a $1M life insurance policy on her?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,569 posts, read 9,500,927 times
Reputation: 8207
The mother. If a a 3rd or 4th child is wanted badly enough, then they could always try again. Plus leaving multiple children without a mother will affect them more than the loss of a sibling they never knew.

[practical reality]
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-13-2013, 09:17 PM
 
9,717 posts, read 6,979,258 times
Reputation: 9785
I say mother lives, without a doubt.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top