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And while we are on the topic, are there any women interested in letting me stay at home?
Can provide sex once you get home from your job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by willow bear
As long as you take care of everything in the house and all crap that goes with it, heck yeah. The sex better be awesome!
Answered it for me! If I can come home to my laundry done, meals cooked, grocery shopping done, kids taken to and from all their activities...etc it would be a big HECK YEAH from me. I'd love a stay at home dad/husband. If we could afford to do that I wouldn't even hesitate.
I am kind of old fashioned, but I do not want to have a house wife.
I can have a much better standard of living with a working wife. Normally you will have a mortage, and some other fixed costs. Even if she only earns half of your income your living standards may double, because there is fixed costs. If there is too much housework, then just hire someone to come and clean your house once a week. Living on one income is hard. And risky too. What if you lose your job?
Secondly she will have a very boring life. It will be a lot better if we can come home and discuss what we did at work, or something interesting we saw.
Thirdly, I think the children are better off socializing with other kids, and not home with their mother all the time.
And fourthly, which is very important. If you have a house wife, then divorce will ruin you. Since she is the house wife she will get the kids, and you will need to pay child support and alimony. This will often be half or more of your income, and you will be forced to work. If you increase your salary, then her payments will increase. But if you want to take a new career direction, then you are not allowed to because you are not allowed to volutary drop in salary. You will lose a lot of your freedom.
Actually a women stating that she wants to be a house wife is a deal breaker for me. In your situation you are already divorced, and have kids. There is zero chance I could accept that.
I can have a much better standard of living with a working wife. If there is too much housework, then just hire someone to come and clean your house once a week.
Not many men would want to support a housewife with kids. Don't blame them actually.
Agreed. Unless, he has children too and he wants to find another woman that will stay home and take care of them (bio mom not in picture, etc) and perhaps he wants someone to run his household for him as well. I can imagine if you are a single dad working full-time with sole custody of smaller children it could be difficult. I actually knew a couple men who wanted this set-up, including a much-older man (almost double my age) who wanted to try to steer me down that path when I was barely out of high school - making me his young bride so I could take care of his kids and do his housework and cooking and cleaning for him (and it was assumed I'd be ready for sex at all times) LMAO not even close...
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The only situation in which I could imagine being okay with having a wife who didn't contribute to our income would be if I were a wealthy man who wanted a trophy wife. I'm not, though. I'm a normal guy who prefers to date women who are my equals, which means they have a descent career.
I am kind of old fashioned, but I do not want to have a house wife.
I can have a much better standard of living with a working wife. Normally you will have a mortage, and some other fixed costs. Even if she only earns half of your income your living standards may double, because there is fixed costs. If there is too much housework, then just hire someone to come and clean your house once a week. Living on one income is hard. And risky too. What if you lose your job?
Secondly she will have a very boring life. It will be a lot better if we can come home and discuss what we did at work, or something interesting we saw.
Thirdly, I think the children are better off socializing with other kids, and not home with their mother all the time.
And fourthly, which is very important. If you have a house wife, then divorce will ruin you. Since she is the house wife she will get the kids, and you will need to pay child support and alimony. This will often be half or more of your income, and you will be forced to work. If you increase your salary, then her payments will increase. But if you want to take a new career direction, then you are not allowed to because you are not allowed to volutary drop in salary. You will lose a lot of your freedom.
Actually a women stating that she wants to be a house wife is a deal breaker for me. In your situation you are already divorced, and have kids. There is zero chance I could accept that.
I think more and more men are starting to figure this out and women are finding out there are less and less schmoes who walk blindly into this. I could not imagine a woman trying to get alimony and child support from me, I would leave the nation and all of my family behind, it would be a very sad day but I refuse to live like a pauper. I would go to my grave working to out maneuver people who would seek to make my life harder.
Knowing I have that resolve, intelligence and know how helps me sleep a little better. Almost every dime I have made has been invested into myself so to limit how much influence political boarders have on me.
I am kind of old fashioned, but I do not want to have a house wife.
I can have a much better standard of living with a working wife. Normally you will have a mortage, and some other fixed costs. Even if she only earns half of your income your living standards may double, because there is fixed costs. If there is too much housework, then just hire someone to come and clean your house once a week. Living on one income is hard. And risky too. What if you lose your job?
It is a matter of priorities. If having plenty of money is a high priority, perhaps two incomes is better than one. But it is still not a fast track to a high standard of living. I know plenty of people who live on two incomes and their standard of living is no higher than my own. Others I know are so bad with money that even in a household with two six-figure incomes there is massive amounts of consumer debt, fiscal over-reach, etc. Fixed costs, mortgage/rent, utilities, car and insurance, those are something we all deal with. Smart people gradually normalize their budgets to them as they move from young adulthood into their careers. Not everyone gets it. I'm no financial genius myself, but my wife and I have done just fine on my income alone. Recently my wife has done intermittent work from home to augment my income and we have found this to be a very effective balance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon
Secondly she will have a very boring life. It will be a lot better if we can come home and discuss what we did at work, or something interesting we saw.
How many days of your life have you lived with a stay at home wife/mom? My wife is a SAHM and we never struggle for things to talk about when I get home from work. She doesn't sit around on her rear end all do dreamily waiting for me to return. She doesn't vacuum the house with an apron on and then go pull a perfectly-baked turkey from the oven and smile really big just as I am walking through the front door. She goes out and does stuff with her friends, she goes to the gym, she goes shopping, and she does household work as well. Is she bored? Talk to a SAHM sometime and ask her if she is ever bored. She'll laugh at you and say, "I wish!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon
Thirdly, I think the children are better off socializing with other kids, and not home with their mother all the time.
Yes, because the children of a SAHM are always locked away indoors under the watchful eye of their mother and never allowed to go socialize with other kids. During the summer months it is a flurry of activity around my house, with people coming and going constantly. Little kids I don't even know are sometimes there when I get home. Sometimes it's my kids darkening someone else's doorstep. During the school year...wait for it...wait for it...the kids go to school! Guess what's at school? Other kids! Isn't it amazing how that works? Live under the care of a SAHM and STILL get socializing with other little kids! They are not mutually exclusive, you know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon
And fourthly, which is very important. If you have a house wife, then divorce will ruin you. Since she is the house wife she will get the kids, and you will need to pay child support and alimony. This will often be half or more of your income, and you will be forced to work. If you increase your salary, then her payments will increase. But if you want to take a new career direction, then you are not allowed to because you are not allowed to volutary drop in salary. You will lose a lot of your freedom.
Sadly divorce is a much bigger reality in our culture than it ever should be. This destroys families and it is usually the children, who have no say in the situation, who end up the innocent victims in all of this. I do not agree with some of the divorce court and alimony rulings we've seen, but I can say I profoundly support that a man should be responsible for taking care of his kids even beyond a divorce. Or if the woman was a career woman and the dad was a SAHD, the opposite is true (depending on custody agreements). But if your reason for not wanting a SAHM for a wife is you fear the results when you get divorced, you're probably not approaching a relationship with marriage potential from the right angle. What's the point of getting married if you are already planning your strategy for when you divorce? Defeatist mindset ensures defeat. For a lot of marriages my guess is this mindset becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon
Actually a women stating that she wants to be a house wife is a deal breaker for me. In your situation you are already divorced, and have kids. There is zero chance I could accept that.
I don't know the OP and will not attempt to speak for her, but somehow I think she'll be fine pursuing other options.
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2
I think more and more men are starting to figure this out and women are finding out there are less and less schmoes who walk blindly into this. I could not imagine a woman trying to get alimony and child support from me, I would leave the nation and all of my family behind, it would be a very sad day but I refuse to live like a pauper. I would go to my grave working to out maneuver people who would seek to make my life harder.
Knowing I have that resolve, intelligence and know how helps me sleep a little better. Almost every dime I have made has been invested into myself so to limit how much influence political boarders have on me.
See my comments on Camlon's fourth point. Dodging a responsibility to take care of your children is despicable. Please, do society a favor and never pro-create. We don't need more dead beat dads leaving their children behind. Live life and have your fun. Just don't leave any hurting children in your wake.
I want a divorce but would like to resume being a housewife.
I understand where you're coming from.
See, I want to be a "House Man"
Unmarried, no children, no job, but with ample income.
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During the summer months it is a flurry of activity around my house, with people coming and going constantly. Little kids I don't even know are sometimes there when I get home. Sometimes it's my kids darkening someone else's doorstep. During the school year...wait for it...wait for it...the kids go to school! 
Isn't it amazing how that works? Live under the care of a SAHM and STILL get socializing with other little kids! They are not mutually exclusive, you know. 