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Old 08-20-2013, 01:07 PM
 
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How do you choose when these two conflict?
Moreover, how do you make a decision that you don't regret, if you have passion for both?

There are times when I look back to a really good relationship and think that I was an absolute idiot to choose pursuing my education the way I did, because I chose a what seemed like a reasonable choice at the time: pursue the field I desired because it's not realistic to expect any one relationship to last, and it's likely that we'd both find someone else.

However, unlike the partner I let go, who is now married, I never found someone as compatible as the person she found.

The unfortunate dillema was that the fields of interests forced a choice between one person having to abandon their dream, which I suspected would cause regret about that, though I don't know for sure.


At any rate, I wish I never met her, if only to spare myself from the painful thoughts of what could have been, even if one of us would have possibly had regret for not pursuing what we were passionate for.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:11 PM
 
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Key is to find someone who complements you. I'm career and education oriented, so I try to find matches who understand and encourage me to continue to pursue that.

It is possible to have both. It takes a lot of work and may take longer to find the right person, but you can have career and love simultaneously.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:13 PM
 
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Well, when one doesn't ever give you opportunities to pursue, you're kind've left with one choice.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Key is to find someone who complements you. I'm career and education oriented, so I try to find matches who understand and encourage me to continue to pursue that.

It is possible to have both. It takes a lot of work and may take longer to find the right person, but you can have career and love simultaneously.
Perhaps I should have worded things differently...

What do you do when the desires of two people to chase their dreams get in the way of the relationship? I know an LDR could have worked, but she wasn't the type to handle that....
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
Perhaps I should have worded things differently...

What do you do when the desires of two people to chase their dreams get in the way of the relationship? I know an LDR could have worked, but she wasn't the type to handle that....
I think my answer still stands. If two people are compatible and meant to be together, chasing their dreams will not hinder the success of the relationship.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
I think my answer still stands. If two people are compatible and meant to be together, chasing their dreams will not hinder the success of the relationship.
But then why did I really enjoy her company?
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
But then why did I really enjoy her company?
Enjoying someones company does not a relationship make.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
I think my answer still stands. If two people are compatible and meant to be together, chasing their dreams will not hinder the success of the relationship.
This is exactly what I've always thought... I never quite got the people who say 'I'm too busy with work/school for a relationship' because even when I was working full time and in college full time I still had time for a few texts during the day and a dinner/lunch date once a week. Even now I'm working full time with a weird schedule and may be starting a masters program next year and I can only see the guy I'm dating once a week for a few hours because we're both busy...but we still send each other a few texts here and there and have short 10 minute phone conversations throughout the week to stay in touch.

I guess you just have to find someone that is okay and comfortable with not having constant 24/7 attention.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Enjoying someones company does not a relationship make.
Except it was a relationship. Did I make the wrong decision?

If I didn't have such an intellectual curiosity, I would have been the guy that proposed to her instead of the other person...
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
This is exactly what I've always thought... I never quite got the people who say 'I'm too busy with work/school for a relationship' because even when I was working full time and in college full time I still had time for a few texts during the day and a dinner/lunch date once a week. Even now I'm working full time with a weird schedule and may be starting a masters program next year and I can only see the guy I'm dating once a week for a few hours because we're both busy...but we still send each other a few texts here and there and have short 10 minute phone conversations throughout the week to stay in touch.

I guess you just have to find someone that is okay and comfortable with not having constant 24/7 attention.
Me too. I work 50 hrs a week and am in grad school full time. I manage my time extremely well. Send a few texts a day, can manage to call every so often, and always have time for a weekend date.
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