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I wasn't just verbally abused but anyway. That's another story. That's life. I have accept my past.
Also, the fact that I was no allowed to have any friends until I left for college, they monitored my every move, I was not allowed to have extra-curricular activities that I liked .. They would also dictate how to dress, what to watch on TV, what music to listen to. Hell on earth.
Like I said, I had traumatic experiences with my mom which I will not disclose online. Those, I will not forgive. I can forgive mean/harsh words, but that's the only thing I can get past.
I blame them for my lack of self-esteem, my trust issues, my fear of rejection. When a parent tells you everyday you are a burden, life would have been much better without you blah blah blah, I'm sorry but it doesn't make you feel loved or wanted.
I've done some soul searching the last few yrs and came to realize that my mother was a terribly terribly flawed person, more so than I even realized, she had major issues and probably shouldn't have had kids.
Know your past and be aware of it, but don't let it overcome the 'now'.... you know what I'm saying??
You have choices in how you move forward in your life.... you can control your destiny... as much as the universe will allow for....
You're still pretty young and you'll most likely gain some self confidence as you get a bit older and get more experience under your belt.
I'd say that's just a wee bit dramatic. Have you done any traveling overseas? Visited some of the more destitute areas of the world? If you did, you might have a different definition of "hell on earth." Granted, it sucks when our parents, or anyone for that matter, treat us with less love than we should be treated. But I think we need to put things into perspective.
I'd say that's just a wee bit dramatic. Have you done any traveling overseas? Visited some of the more destitute areas of the world? If you did, you might have a different definition of "hell on earth." Granted, it sucks when our parents, or anyone for that matter, treat us with less love than we should be treated. But I think we need to put things into perspective.
Yes, I've done some travelling and I know there's way worse.
However, you can't compare polar opposite situations.
Anyway. Physical abuse isn't super fun either. I'm not talking about spanking here.
Yes, I've done some travelling and I know there's way worse.
However, you can't compare polar opposite situations.
Anyway. Physical abuse isn't super fun either.
Yeah, suffering is all relative. The kid who's doesn't know his dad, his mom died of AIDS and he gets his meals by picking through the trash heaps has a different kind of suffering than someone who has endured long periods of psychological abuse. You can't say that one form of suffering is more painful or impacting than the other.
That said, we have to move on. We can't wallow in the pain and the blame.
Yeah, suffering is all relative. The kid who's doesn't know his dad, his mom died of AIDS and he gets his meals by picking through the trash heaps has a different kind of suffering than someone who has endured long periods of psychological abuse. You can't say that one form of suffering is more painful or impacting than the other.
That said, we have to move on. We can't wallow in the pain and the blame.
It's sad that whenever I mention "physical" abuse people can't believe it. My therapists didn't. I just don't have anyone to turn to. That's all.
Yeah, my pops was one of the most angry, violent people I've ever met. And he didn't just reserve his violence for his sons, his daughters got it too. But honestly, the physical abuse was more tolerable than the verbal abuse.
My relationship with my dad still isn't great, but we talk. I've long since forgiven him, thanks to 2 years of therapy. The therapy was court-ordered as I had been getting into trouble with the law quite a bit. So I know that parental abuse has its effects, but I also know that emotional wounds can be healed.
Yeah, my pops was one of the most angry, violent people I've ever met. And he didn't just reserve his violence for his sons, his daughters got it too. But honestly, the physical abuse was more tolerable than the verbal abuse.
My relationship with my dad still isn't great, but we talk. I've long since forgiven him, thanks to 2 years of therapy. The therapy was court-ordered as I had been getting into trouble with the law quite a bit. So I know that parental abuse has its effects, but I also know that emotional wounds can be healed.
I understand. In my case, I was the only one who suffered from my mom's moodiness. She started when I was three. It all ended when I left for college. Hence, I'm just starting the healing process all over again since my therapists thought upper middle class people can't have such issues. It's going to be a bumpy ride I assume but I have to do this.
At the end of the day, pain is relative. Like you said.
I understand. In my case, I was the only one who suffered from my mom's moodiness. She started when I was three. It all ended when I left for college. Hence, I'm just starting the healing process. It's going to be a bumpy ride I assume but I have to do this.
At the end of the day, pain is relative. Like you said.
Well, I would highly recommend getting your own place and not living with your parents again. That will give you the opportunity to ease your parents back into your life at your own pace.
Well, I would highly recommend getting your own place and not living with your parents again. That will give you the opportunity to ease your parents back into your life at your own pace.
Oh. I left for college 5 years ago. I don't even live in the same country as my parents, thankfully.
Parents ..
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